DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found out that my friend’s husband has been cheating on her. When I had all the facts and knew with 100% certainty that he was cheating, I decided to tell her about his infidelity. I presented her with all the factual evidence, and she believed it.

Unfortunately, my friend ultimately decided that it wasn’t a big deal. She confronted him about it, and they worked it out. Now her husband despises me and has made it clear that he doesn't want me around anymore. My friend isn’t letting her husband stop me from hanging out with her or coming over, but I feel like I shot myself in the foot. My friend’s reaction was obviously much different than I anticipated, and now I’ve made an enemy out of her husband for no reason. What should I do? -- Cheater

DEAR CHEATER: You, as the messenger, have become the sacrificial lamb in this scenario. And guess what? This happens all the time. Put yourself in your friend’s position. Would you want to know if your husband was cheating? If the answer is yes, then you probably did the right thing. You cannot predict how someone will respond to such a revelation, but if you would appreciate being told, then you weren’t wrong in telling. There is always a risk in what happens next, as some couples do stay together after such revelations are made.

Without judging anyone, you may need to give your friend and her husband some space. They have to work through their issues. Hopefully he will stop blaming you and take a look at his own behavior. Over time, you may be able to feel more welcome at their table. Just know that reporting infidelity is usually a messy affair. Deciding whether to share what you’ve learned is a personal choice, but now you see that the revelation can come with harsh consequences.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I posted a job opening for my company recently and let people know that it is a remote position. Most of the applications I have received are from people from other parts of the world. It’s pretty amazing to see, actually. I am beginning to interview people, but I worry about how we will be able to interact if we are in vastly different time zones. I put it out there that I am open to working with someone regardless of their geographic location, but now I’m a little nervous. What should I do? -- Remote Work

DEAR REMOTE WORK: Don’t make a decision before you talk to people. Interview each applicant without bias. Learn their strengths and challenges. It will be relatively easy to find out if you can make your schedules work based on how easily you can set your interview, for starters. When you talk to the applicants, find out how drastically their time zone differs from yours, what their willingness is to adapt to your schedule and what their expectations are about working with you.

I have worked with people in different time zones. One adjustment I made was to start my daily staff meetings later to accommodate someone whose time zone was three hours earlier than mine. It worked out. If you are willing to be flexible, see what you can do to welcome someone from afar into your fold. Test it to see if it can work for both of you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m 28, and I live in a small apartment complex where everyone knows each other. My neighbor, a gentleman in his 50s, saw me smoking a cigarette the other day and decided to take it upon himself to lecture me on the dangers of smoking. Although I appreciated his concern, his lecture was unwelcome. I intend to quit smoking at some point, but I don’t need my neighbor to intervene. I fear that the next time I bump into him, he will give me another lecture. What can I do to make him understand that his unsolicited advice is not helping? I’m a grown adult, and I don’t need lectures. -- Good Intentions

DEAR GOOD INTENTIONS: As you know, your neighbor expressed his concerns out of genuine care for you. Remember that when you speak to him. It is your right to do whatever you want with your life and your body. Provided that the cigarette smoke is not contaminating your neighbors’ air, you should be able to smoke in peace.

That said, it is likely that this man will either say something or scowl at you the next time he sees a cigarette in your hand. Can you say something? Yes, but be careful. You can thank him for his concern, but put up a guardrail. Tell him you know what you are doing. When you decide to quit, you will. Politely ask him to refrain from giving you advice on this topic in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked a close friend for help moving a few months ago, and she promised me that she would be there to assist me. Unfortunately, when the day came, she bailed on me without any warning. Now, she's come to me asking for help with something that's far less important, and I feel resentful about the whole situation. On one hand, I don't want to be petty, but on the other hand, it feels unfair that she expects me to be there for her when she wasn't there for me when I needed her the most. How can I handle this situation with grace and without causing further drama in our friendship? -- Unfair

DEAR UNFAIR: Since this is bothering you, talk to her about it. Don’t let it simmer under your skin. Get it out in the open. Tell her how disappointed you were when she bailed on you at a critical time. Describe to her how difficult it was for you to complete your move without her and how upset you were that she would leave you in the lurch like that. Ask her why she made the choice not to show up for you. Then be quiet. Give her space to answer -- even if that space includes awkward silence.

You can follow up and tell her that you don’t feel inclined to do anything for her right now as you are still upset about her abandoning you in your time of need. Tell her you need some time, so you are stepping away for a bit. This may get your friend to think about her behavior more seriously. If you tend to swallow your feelings and do whatever she needs no matter how she behaves, she may not even realize the impact of her bad actions. It’s time for you to stand up for yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in a relatively new relationship with a really nice guy. Everything was going well up until about two weeks ago when he randomly asked me for money. He claimed that he needed it urgently. It was a small amount, so I gave it to him, making him promise that it would be a one-time thing. Unfortunately, he's asked me again since then. I’m confused because he showed no sign of having money problems when we first started seeing each other. Could he have been hiding his financial struggles from me all along? How do I handle this? -- I’m Not a Bank

DEAR HARRIETTE: A dear friend of mine recently got me a job at the company she works for. She’s one of the head supervisors. Since I started at the company, I have noticed that my other colleagues haven’t warmed up to me. I am worried that because I am obviously close friends with a supervisor, the other employees don’t feel comfortable around me. It has been challenging to find my place within the team, and it seems like my co-workers are avoiding me. I don’t want to be an outcast at work. How do I make friends with my co-workers? -- Left Out

DEAR LEFT OUT: You probably should cool your relationship with your supervisor friend at work. Agree to stop interacting with her all the time. Create space to get to know the rest of the team. Then work on building rapport with them. Identify one or two people you like, and pay attention to them. Invite them for coffee or drinks after work. Set an intention to get to know them. Give it time. Building relationships takes effort and commitment. It can’t seem performative on your part. You have to demonstrate that you truly want to know these people. You also cannot go back to your friend and share what you learn about them. Then you would be labeled a snitch, which would make your whole plan backfire.

Your friend got you into the company. It is up to you to craft how you will grow there. That requires building relationships with other people on the team.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)