DEAR HARRIETTE: I have three friends who have suffered strokes in the past year. It has been devastating to see them struggle to heal. At first this got me motivated to take better care of myself, including eating smarter and becoming more active. Then I sort of slipped back into my old ways of being -- working all the time, not always watching my calorie intake ... same old, same old. I know better, but I also realize it is hard to change my behavior. What can I do to help get myself on a healthier track? I do not want to end up dealing with a health crisis that I have the ability to avert by acting now. How can I jump-start my fitness? -- Unmotivated

DEAR UNMOTIVATED: Start with a medical checkup. Determine everything you can about your health status. Find out what you need to work on to become a healthier you. Write down everything your doctor recommends. You already know that includes regular physical exercise. Make a plan for what you will eat and how you will move. If possible, enlist the support of an accountability partner -- someone you trust who will cheer for you and possibly go with you to work out. Write down your tasks for each day -- those that are for your health and those for the rest of your life. Check them off your list as you complete them. Stay in close touch with your friends who are recovering as well. Learning more about their plight may remind you to stay the course.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I complain too much about my marriage, and I realize now that my friends are tired of hearing about it. At first, I told virtually no one, but over time, I have needed to confide in others to help myself process what I’m dealing with. The problem is that I haven’t left my husband even though my issues haven’t changed over quite a few years. One of my friends asked me the other day if I had decided to stay in my marriage. I responded that I hadn’t decided anything. I just haven’t done anything yet. She gave me a quizzical look, but it got me thinking. I don’t know what to do. I’m not happy with the status quo. I’m not sure that I can afford to live by myself. I haven’t convinced my husband to go to therapy yet. We are at a standstill. I need help taking some kind of action, and I realize that my friends can’t help me get there. -- SOS

DEAR SOS: A professional therapist should have the tools to help you talk through your situation and come to terms with what is going on in your life. You are correct in believing that your friends are not equipped to advise you on this. You need to figure out what you want for your life, what resources you need to fulfill your desires and how to acquire those if you don’t already have them. That includes gaining the tools to communicate with your husband more effectively. Engage a professional and make a timeline for addressing your concerns.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I’ve noticed a lot of people are giving themselves shots to lose weight. Several of my colleagues have gone on these extreme diets (or so they appear to me) and dropped as much as 75 pounds in a few months. I need to lose weight, but it is coming off very slowly. I’m wondering if I should try one of these plans. I’m worried, though, as I have high blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments. I don’t know if a shot that makes you lose weight fast might interact with my other medications and cause problems, but I don’t want to miss out on a way to jump-start my weight loss. Am I being too cautious? Should I try one of these methods? I think one of them was originally meant for people with diabetes. -- Need To Lose Weight

DEAR NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT: Before trying any type of weight-loss plan, you must see your doctor. Talk to them about your concerns and ask about the popular methods to see if any of them are safe for you. You are smart to be concerned about what might interact with your current medications. Your doctor should be able to help you assess that.

While this may not sound as sexy as one of the current trends, working with a nutritionist is one way to go to inspire weight loss. A nutritionist will help you determine the best foods and portion sizes for your body. It will likely take longer to reach your result with a modified diet, but if you keep it up, you can create a lifestyle change for yourself that will ultimately get you to your goal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I go to the town where I went to high school, I look up my old friends. I make the effort to see the ones I was closest to, usually making a call or sending a text weeks before I arrive. Recently, I have noticed that one of my friends hardly ever responds. When he does, it’s always vague and noncommittal. I don’t understand what’s going on. We were so close back in the day, and to my knowledge nothing bad has happened between us. He did get married some years ago. I wonder if his wife is blocking him from seeing me. I am not trying to take her man. I would be happy to see her, too. How can I address this? -- Old Friends

DEAR OLD FRIENDS: Next time you reach out to this friend, ask him if he and his wife can join you for drinks or dinner the next time you are in town. Explicitly include her so that your intention is clear. Yes, she may be the blocker. It is possible that he has hidden feelings for you that she senses even if he is suppressing them.

Instead of second-guessing the situation, see if this open invitation works. Then feel them out if you get together to learn if there’s room for you to be friends with them both.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a dream the other day that my assistant was about to resign. For the next few days, every time I talked to her, I halfway held my breath knowing that the next thing she was going to say to me was goodbye. And yet it wasn’t. She did ask to speak to me about several sensitive matters. They all turned out to be various business dealings that we were handling -- until she wanted to talk about something else.

A week after having that premonition, my assistant told me she had “bittersweet news.” I knew what was next. She had, in fact, found a new job. She handled sharing the news with me well, and, of course, I wasn’t surprised. It’s so weird. I really did know before she said a word. People have called me clairvoyant. I don’t know about that. I do know that my assistant and I are in alignment, and I knew what was going to happen. Because we work so well together, I’m wondering if I should try to get her to stay. What do I do with this uncanny awareness that I have? -- Clairvoyant

DEAR CLAIRVOYANT: It probably took a lot for your assistant to share her news. Don’t try to keep her from her next opportunity. Instead, thank her for her time with you. You can tell her you had a sense that this was coming. Ask her to help you find an adequate replacement. Plan together for what needs to happen before she leaves.

As far as your sixth sense, use it to help guide your steps, not to stop others from living their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I took the train home the other day. At one of the stops on this three-hour journey, a young man sat next to me in his assigned seat. We were seated at a table for four, and the other seats were occupied. As he sat down, all I could smell was weed. I was so disappointed to see this young Black man who appeared to be an upstanding individual contaminating the whole area with the smell of marijuana smoke. It doesn’t matter whether it’s legal -- it is unprofessional to reek of weed when you board a business train to sit among other people.

As a Black professional woman, I wanted to pull his coattails, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of the white people who were sitting across from him. He pulled out a laptop and actively worked on it during the trip. He had good manners. His only issue was the smell that infiltrated our area for the whole ride. I thought I might say something if he deboarded when I did, but the moment didn’t happen. Do you think it would have been OK to say something if I had found the moment? -- Cloud of Smoke

DEAR CLOUD OF SMOKE: Yes! This is especially true, given the fact that this young man seemed to be on a professional track otherwise. He may not know how much the smell had stuck to his clothes when he smoked. There’s a good chance he had no idea that he had contaminated the area with this scent. Pulling his coattails to let him know that it’s not wise to smoke weed right before entering an enclosed space could be helpful information for him. The key would be to say it without judgment, just as a fact.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)