DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been suffering from a bad cold for a couple of weeks now. I still have had to work and go about my life. I had taken several COVID-19 tests -- and every other test that the doctor would give me. All they say is it’s a cold. But I continue to cough, so people look at me like I’m going to kill them when I am out. I often pipe up and say that I don’t have COVID. I stayed home as long as I could, but I have to work. I feel bad that the cough is lingering. How can I make others feel safer when I’m still hacking up a storm? -- Lingering Cough

DEAR LINGERING COUGH: While you are still coughing, you may want to wear a mask. That will help prevent you from sharing your germs with anyone else and will show others that you aren’t feeling well. That is the new sign of precaution, thanks to COVID-19.

While you say you have to continue with your life, you may also want to give yourself some grace and get more rest. Even though a cold is not the flu or COVID or something even worse, it is still real. When our bodies are fighting off germs, the best thing we can do for them is to treat them with TLC. Go to what you must, but stay home as much as possible and allow yourself time to heal fully. When you are out, the mask will help you to send a precautionary message to others.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I spent the summer out of town and have just moved back home. What I am facing here is more than I can handle. I basically abandoned my home, packed up my essentials and left without tidying, organizing or anything. I have been fighting with my husband for the entire year, and my house looks like it. It’s a total mess. I don’t even know where to start. He is of no help, but I need to climb out of this mess. I don’t really want to ask friends to help because it’s embarrassing. How do I go about getting help? -- Under a Pile

DEAR UNDER A PILE: You probably need to get some counseling to deal with the emotional issues that have precipitated the physical ones. While it make shock you, it’s possible you’ve entered a hoarding situation, and believe it or not, hoarding is considered to be a mental condition that often needs mental health therapy to address. Start by finding a therapist who can work with you on the things that are bothering you. You can also research cleaning companies that specialize in hoarding who can come in, assess your needs and create a plan for cleaning out your space. This may be hard for you to do, but if you find experts, they can help you tackle your home and make order where there is none. Take it slowly, but stay the course. This is not easy to do, but with professional help, you should be able to make some headway into your clutter -- both emotionally and physically.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live on the ground floor of an apartment complex. It is in the city, but it is surrounded by a small garden and fence. The other morning, I felt something weird and opened my eyes. Standing outside my window was a random man staring in at me. My bedroom is small. While there was a window between us, he was literally only about 10 feet away from me. I screamed, and he ran off. My sons went out to track him down as I called the police. My sons found him and showed the police where he was. The police talked to him and released him. I asked them to arrest him, but they said they hadn’t caught him doing anything, so they couldn’t. I am so worried about this. It was horrible waking up to him looking in on me. The police don’t seem to be much help. What can I do? -- Peeping Tom

DEAR PEEPING TOM: I’m sorry this happened to you. It is frightening for something like that to occur when you are most vulnerable. Is there a neighborhood watch for your building or community? You can talk to them about community policing. If there isn’t one, maybe you can start a group of people who will patrol your building and look out for each other. You can install a motion-activated video recording system, like Ring, to capture images of anyone who passes your window. Some of these devices also have lights that turn on automatically. That can help deter onlookers. You may want to install a safety grille over your window and invest in blackout curtains to protect your privacy. Also, keep the police informed if this happens again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My immediate family just learned that our mother is the oldest living relative in our extended family where she is from. There is going to be a family reunion that we just learned about. I cannot go. I would need to travel to be there, and there’s not enough lead time. I already have that day and weekend scheduled. I feel bad, but my sister will take my mother. I am going to ask if they will FaceTime with me during the event so that I can see some of it. Do you think that’s too much to ask of my sister, who will be managing everything, including our elderly mom? -- Family Celebration

DEAR FAMILY CELEBRATION: I bet your sister will be happy to include you in the celebration in whatever ways possible. Plan ahead, though, to make it as easeful as possible. Talk to her about your situation so she understands why you cannot attend. Let her know your window of availability. Make it as broad as possible so she has flexibility. Find out the agenda for the event -- if there is one. Then coordinate with her on when it may work best to call in. Ask her if it will help her for you to place the call as she will be doing many things. If so, know that you may have to try a few times before it’s the right time to check in on the festivities.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my close friends wore a very revealing dress to my wedding. While I want to be open-minded and understanding of her choices, I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable and distracted throughout the day. I even had a few guests ask me if I was upset with how my friend was dressed. I lied and told them it was fine.

I think what offends me the most is the fact that my friend generally dresses very modestly, but she chose my wedding to wear something flashy and revealing. She didn’t even stick to my theme. How do I talk to her about this? -- Disrespectful Outfit

DEAR DISRESPECTFUL OUTFIT: When you and your friend naturally have a debrief about your wedding, talk about everything. Let her tell you her favorite moments. Enjoy a lively conversation where you go over all of your memories of the day and evening. Decide that you will enjoy the chat you have with her. After all, it is about your big day.

Before the conversation ends, tell her you have a sensitive question to ask her. With her blessing, pose the question about why she chose to wear such a revealing dress at your wedding. Listen for her answer. If she is single, it could be that she thought she might attract a potential partner. That doesn’t make it right, but it could be an explanation. Be sure to tell her that you found her dress inappropriate for the event and extremely distracting. Don’t belabor the point, though. Just make it and move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to work with a woman who has become big in our industry. Years ago, I hired her to work for me, which definitely helped to launch her career. Whenever she talks about those days, she chooses to talk about her relationship with our big boss. Never once does she even acknowledge that she worked for or with me. It is as if I don’t even exist.

I’m not a person with a big ego, but this rubs me the wrong way. Should I say something to her about it? The reason it came up recently is because she is featured in a published story about the company we worked for back in the day, and she basically erased me out of her narrative. I’m hurt by that. Will saying something to her make any difference? -- Erased

DEAR ERASED: You run the risk of getting your feelings hurt more if you confront her with this reality. My vote would be just to know that this is who she is and let it go. Obviously, she has chosen to write you out of her story. That’s not kind or thoughtful, but it doesn’t seem like she’s planning to write you in now.

That said, if you feel you must say something, next time you are in her company, you can ask her why she chooses not to mention the fact that you hired her or that she worked for you during those years. I feel certain that her response will not be satisfying to you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)