DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a new girl at work, and although I have been nothing but friendly and helpful to her, she has this annoying habit of talking to me as if I'm the newbie in the office. Sometimes she even goes to the extent of explaining things that I already know like the back of my hand. I’m very good at my job, and I’ve been promoted several times since I started working here nearly four years ago. I need to have a serious talk with her about why she feels the need to explain things to me. How should I approach her about this? -- You’re the Newbie

DEAR YOU’RE THE NEWBIE: Stop letting this co-worker get under your skin. You know your job. Be confident in that. When she starts with her explanations, you have a few choices of how to react. Choose one depending on the nature of the moment. You can ignore her completely. Do not respond. Do not react. Just continue with what you were doing. You can challenge her a bit. Ask her if she is saying these things out loud to remind herself of how to do this task. (It's true that some people learn better that way.) You can interrupt her and pivot the conversation to another subject. Or you can walk away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently had an uncomfortable experience during a Zoom call with two female work colleagues. While waiting for the rest of our team to join the call, we started discussing our nails and showing our manicures to the camera. One colleague made a thoughtless comment about how both mine and the other colleague's nails were “a little too ghetto” for her. The problem is that the woman who made that comment is white, and the other colleague and I are Black. While I knew she was joking, the joke didn’t go over too well with the other colleague. I have a closer relationship with the woman who made the joke, so I feel the need to fix this situation before the other colleague complains to the higher-ups. How do I fix the situation without getting the white colleague fired? -- Bad Joke

DEAR BAD JOKE: That joke was definitely in poor taste. Speak to the offender and let her know she crossed a line when she made that comment. Explain that calling something “ghetto” is inappropriate and has no place at work. Suggest to her that she apologize to your other colleague, admitting that she made a mistake and did not mean to offend either of you. People make mistakes. It’s how they handle the aftermath that is essential. In this case, the offender has an opportunity to learn and correct her microaggression. But she needs to understand that it was wrong. Otherwise, it will just be lip service.

You can make your recommendation to her, but don’t defend her. She was wrong. She has to make up for her behavior. Don’t make the mistake of getting mixed up in her mess.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been an outsider, and not by choice. It just seems to happen. I started a job this year where I thought it might be different. We all go into the office, and on many occasions a group of people my age go out after work for drinks or whatever they do. They have never invited me. I’m kind of shy, so I haven’t gotten up the courage to ask to go. I do talk to them when I see them in the hall or in the lunchroom, but the conversation never goes anywhere. How can I get them to see me and invite me to go out with them? -- Outside the Group

DEAR OUTSIDE THE GROUP: If you want the chance to join this group at work, you have to say something. Who in the group have you talked to the most? Strike up a conversation with that person. You may want to invite that person to have drinks with you after work one day. Or you can go straight for the big ask. Tell this person that you have noticed that they go out a lot and you would like to join some time. Ask if that would be possible. It could be that they never thought about it. They have been doing their thing together for so long, they might be on autopilot. Put yourself out there and ask. You may be surprised at how easy it will be to get an invitation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am friends with an extremely dysfunctional family. I love them all, but sometimes it’s hard to listen to them as they each individually complain about the others to me. Their level of animosity is off the charts, and each of them thinks they are right and the others are all wrong. I never share an opinion because I don’t want to take sides, and I have figured out that each of them has good points. It seems that nobody is 100% right or wrong.

I tire of the drama and am concerned about how they are going to manage over time. Both of their parents are dead. They have each other, but they don’t act like it. They just fuss and point fingers and take turns not speaking to each other. It’s awful. How can I be of better help to them? -- Feuding Siblings

DEAR FEUDING SIBLINGS: There is not much that you can do. Since you seem invested in this family, you should create boundaries for your own protection. Allow a fixed amount of time that you will listen to their complaints. After that time is up, tell them you can’t listen any longer. Continue to remain neutral. Your opinion will only feed the flame. You can state as much -- you are intentionally not sharing your personal thoughts about the matter. Be helpful when you see a need. Since the siblings are not supporting each other right now, jump in if you notice something concrete that you can address, but don’t become a crutch. Just be a friend.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been having a great time this summer hanging out with friends, and I’m sad that it is coming to an end. My favorite time of the year is summer, and I start to dread the cold weather the moment this season ends. It’s weird. My attitude changes almost instantly, and I get moody. I want to figure out how to keep my spirits up as the seasons change. Do you have any recommendations? -- Getting the Blues

DEAR GETTING THE BLUES: Seasonal changes can affect people dramatically. Know that you are not alone if it is happening to you.

Because you relish the summer so much, you are holding on dearly to those experiences rather than walking into the next season of your life. I recommend that you give thanks for what you have experienced up to this point, and then tell yourself that you are ready to experience what is coming next, whatever that is. With your eyes wide open, walk into fall with anticipation, not dread. Schedule time with loved ones to meet and engage in fun activities that will keep you active. Be sure to have the proper clothing to stay warm and dry. Go on adventures and explore your environment and the wonders of this season.

If you find, even with all of the effort you can muster to stay in the moment, that you still can’t climb out of negative feelings, check in with a therapist. Seasonal affective disorder is a real condition that impacts many people. You may need psychological or medical support as you enter this season. Just remember that your attitude about being in the moment and relishing the good in it is essential for your happiness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am beginning to be forgetful. I never was good at remembering people’s names, but now I seem to be forgetting chunks of time. Sometimes I will be mid-sentence and forget what I was about to say. I know this can happen to people, but I’m worried that I might be getting Alzheimer’s or dementia or something. I am not yet of the age when this typically happens to people, but this is a concern to me. I don’t want to seem like a hypochondriac.

When I mentioned my fear to my spouse, he instantly told me I was overreacting. That wasn’t helpful. Since I’m still in my 50s, should I just let it go or take some vitamins, as a friend suggested? I don’t want to be a bother to anyone, but if this really is happening to me, I don’t know what to do. -- Memory Loss

DEAR MEMORY LOSS: You are not overreacting. Go to the doctor and get a full medical checkup. Describe your symptoms in detail with as many examples as you can. Start taking notes so that you will have concrete information. You may be referred to a neurologist who specializes in treating the brain and the nervous system. With professional guidance, you should be able to determine what’s happening in your body and receive guidance for what to do next. There may be vitamins and supplements recommended to you as well as other medications, diet and exercise. Don’t try to deal with this alone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)