DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved out of the United States at the beginning of this year to live in a Latin American country. During my time here, I’ve befriended my neighbor, who has lived here her entire life. Despite the language barrier, we've formed a close friendship.

Recently, my neighbor attempted to give me a piece of “art” that depicts a racist caricature. I found it highly offensive and had to turn down the gift, which upset her. I’m hurt that she thought this gift would be appropriate, but I’m almost certain that it was an innocent gesture, as perhaps this type of “artwork” is still considered acceptable in this country. How can I have a conversation with my neighbor about why this is not OK? -- Offensive Art

DEAR OFFENSIVE ART: There is no reason to think that your friend would have intentionally chosen to insult you with her gift. Start your conversation with her from that perspective. Tell her that you want to talk about the gift because obviously it has hit a sore spot. Ask her to explain the significance of the artwork. Who made it? Is it part of the country’s tradition? What does it mean to her? After she gives you background enough for you to understand why she thought it was a good idea to give it to you, tell her you now want to tell her what it means to you. Speak slowly and choose your words carefully, especially since you two do have language barriers and this is a sensitive topic.

Address the specific piece of art itself and what bothers you about it. Do your best to describe why it appears to be racist and what racism means to you. You may need to share insights into your views on racism from your perspective so that she can see through your lens what the offense is. Allow space to disagree on this topic. You still don’t have to accept the art, but your conversation may prove healing between you as you figure out her intention in giving you the piece.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a huge adrenaline junkie. I love outdoor adventures like base jumping, skydiving and really anything that the average person might shy away from. I’m dating a woman who is the exact opposite of me in that sense. She is not too fond of stepping out of her comfort zone. I've tried bringing her along with me before, but she tends to get really nervous and ends up cutting our trips short. Eventually, I decided it was better for both of us if I stopped inviting her altogether. Since I’ve stopped inviting her out on my excursions, she feels left out. I love her, but I don't know how to balance my own thrill-seeking with her fears. What should I do? -- Adrenaline Junkie

DEAR ADRENALINE JUNKIE: You can be in a relationship with someone and not spend every night and day together. You two need to talk. Explain to her that you have stopped inviting her to your adventures because they are outside of her comfort zone. Tell her that you noticed how uncomfortable she became when she joined you, ending up even having her cut the trips short due to her skittishness. Rather than put her in an uncomfortable situation, you decided not to invite her to these activities. That doesn’t mean that you don’t like her. You two will just need do other things together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been looking for a roommate for some time now, but it's been challenging to find someone who fits my criteria. Recently, a girl who used to date a friend of mine saw my ad on social media and reached out to me. She is also looking for a roommate, and I thought this could be a perfect opportunity. However, when I mentioned it to my friend, he said he's not comfortable with it. I understand his concern, but he's not providing me with any alternative solutions. What should I do in this situation? Is it really necessary to give up on the possibility of a great roommate just because of my friend's discomfort? -- Conflict of Interest

DEAR CONFLICT OF INTEREST: What do you actually understand about your friend’s concern about his ex living with you? Go back to your friend and find out why he is against you rooming with this woman. Tell him you respect him and need to know if there is something about her that he thinks would be unsafe or unhealthy for you as a roommate, if it’s because he just doesn’t want you in his business, or if there is something else you should know. Assure him that you don’t care about their previous relationship. You need a trustworthy roommate. Ask him if he thinks she is that. You can also ask her if she would have an issue rooming with you considering you are friends with her ex. Listen to what each of them has to say, then make your decision.

While it is true that people have an unusual hold over their exes when it comes to other friends, this may not be a time when you have to side with him and follow the unwritten honor code that keeps exes off-limits in perpetuity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been struggling with family conflicts, and I feel like my efforts to reconcile have fallen flat. Recently, I took the initiative to offer peace and express my love for my family members through a heartfelt written message. However, I received little to no response, particularly from the family members who were directly involved in the conflict. What should I do to move forward and repair our relationships? -- Peace Offering

DEAR PEACE OFFERING: You have to accept the reality that your family members and you are not in accord, at least not now. You cannot push them, intimidate them, bribe them, apologize to them or anything else to heal the wound until they are ready. Yes, that can be frustrating. More than anything, it is real. Do your best to accept the situation you are in right now. You can continue to reach out at different moments that you find important or pivotal. Don’t beg them to rejoin you. Instead, keep them informed about your life and your interests. Make the communications sweet and light. Avoid sensitive topics for now. Consider this to be a healing zone. Invite your family members to join you in the space of just being together without any judgment. See if that lures anyone in. Don’t give up!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman the other day whose face was vaguely familiar. We were at a restaurant, and I was dining with other people, so we said hello but no more. As I was leaving, she asked if I was still working at a company that I left more than 10 years ago. I told her no and shared what I am doing now. Then I left. Clearly this woman remembers me. I don’t really remember her. I was kind to her, though. Should I have stopped to chat more? I was with a group of people, and we were leaving a restaurant. -- Was I Rude?

DEAR WAS I RUDE?: It sounds like you were appropriately polite to this woman. You greeted her and later answered her question. The moment didn’t call for more than that. You were not rude. Yes, you could have lingered a bit longer if it felt right to do so, but acknowledging each other warmly, quickly updating her on your current work situation and keeping it moving was perfectly fine. If she wants to talk more, she may try to reach out. You told her where you work now, so if she really wants to reach you, she probably can, either there or on social media.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a performer friend who thinks that I would make the perfect manager for her based on my history working in entertainment. However, I've never managed anyone before, and I am quite nervous about it. My friend is in the early stages of her music career and is trusting me to help her figure everything out, but I am afraid that, due to my lack of experience, I’ll mess up and hurt our friendship. When I told her about my worries, she insisted that she knows that I can do it and she doesn’t want anyone else for the job. What should I do? Should I give it a try, or should I decline and suggest that she look for someone with more connections in the business? -- No Experience

DEAR NO EXPERIENCE: Since your friend trusts you and is adamant that you should fill this role, do your research to learn exactly what a manager does. Figure out the responsibilities and legalities. Offer to try it out for a specified period of time, after which you two can review your progress together. Many family members or loved ones serve as managers for new talent as the performer is building their presence in their industry. It is not unusual for your friend to ask this of you. Go for it. Do your best, which should include continuing your research and building a team of professionals who can help manifest your friend’s dreams. Through trust, strong relationships and hard work, you may be the perfect person for this role. As long as you do not forget to surround yourselves with people who are experts at the things you don’t know well, you should be good.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)