DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been looking for a roommate for some time now, but it's been challenging to find someone who fits my criteria. Recently, a girl who used to date a friend of mine saw my ad on social media and reached out to me. She is also looking for a roommate, and I thought this could be a perfect opportunity. However, when I mentioned it to my friend, he said he's not comfortable with it. I understand his concern, but he's not providing me with any alternative solutions. What should I do in this situation? Is it really necessary to give up on the possibility of a great roommate just because of my friend's discomfort? -- Conflict of Interest

DEAR CONFLICT OF INTEREST: What do you actually understand about your friend’s concern about his ex living with you? Go back to your friend and find out why he is against you rooming with this woman. Tell him you respect him and need to know if there is something about her that he thinks would be unsafe or unhealthy for you as a roommate, if it’s because he just doesn’t want you in his business, or if there is something else you should know. Assure him that you don’t care about their previous relationship. You need a trustworthy roommate. Ask him if he thinks she is that. You can also ask her if she would have an issue rooming with you considering you are friends with her ex. Listen to what each of them has to say, then make your decision.

While it is true that people have an unusual hold over their exes when it comes to other friends, this may not be a time when you have to side with him and follow the unwritten honor code that keeps exes off-limits in perpetuity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been struggling with family conflicts, and I feel like my efforts to reconcile have fallen flat. Recently, I took the initiative to offer peace and express my love for my family members through a heartfelt written message. However, I received little to no response, particularly from the family members who were directly involved in the conflict. What should I do to move forward and repair our relationships? -- Peace Offering

DEAR PEACE OFFERING: You have to accept the reality that your family members and you are not in accord, at least not now. You cannot push them, intimidate them, bribe them, apologize to them or anything else to heal the wound until they are ready. Yes, that can be frustrating. More than anything, it is real. Do your best to accept the situation you are in right now. You can continue to reach out at different moments that you find important or pivotal. Don’t beg them to rejoin you. Instead, keep them informed about your life and your interests. Make the communications sweet and light. Avoid sensitive topics for now. Consider this to be a healing zone. Invite your family members to join you in the space of just being together without any judgment. See if that lures anyone in. Don’t give up!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman the other day whose face was vaguely familiar. We were at a restaurant, and I was dining with other people, so we said hello but no more. As I was leaving, she asked if I was still working at a company that I left more than 10 years ago. I told her no and shared what I am doing now. Then I left. Clearly this woman remembers me. I don’t really remember her. I was kind to her, though. Should I have stopped to chat more? I was with a group of people, and we were leaving a restaurant. -- Was I Rude?

DEAR WAS I RUDE?: It sounds like you were appropriately polite to this woman. You greeted her and later answered her question. The moment didn’t call for more than that. You were not rude. Yes, you could have lingered a bit longer if it felt right to do so, but acknowledging each other warmly, quickly updating her on your current work situation and keeping it moving was perfectly fine. If she wants to talk more, she may try to reach out. You told her where you work now, so if she really wants to reach you, she probably can, either there or on social media.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a performer friend who thinks that I would make the perfect manager for her based on my history working in entertainment. However, I've never managed anyone before, and I am quite nervous about it. My friend is in the early stages of her music career and is trusting me to help her figure everything out, but I am afraid that, due to my lack of experience, I’ll mess up and hurt our friendship. When I told her about my worries, she insisted that she knows that I can do it and she doesn’t want anyone else for the job. What should I do? Should I give it a try, or should I decline and suggest that she look for someone with more connections in the business? -- No Experience

DEAR NO EXPERIENCE: Since your friend trusts you and is adamant that you should fill this role, do your research to learn exactly what a manager does. Figure out the responsibilities and legalities. Offer to try it out for a specified period of time, after which you two can review your progress together. Many family members or loved ones serve as managers for new talent as the performer is building their presence in their industry. It is not unusual for your friend to ask this of you. Go for it. Do your best, which should include continuing your research and building a team of professionals who can help manifest your friend’s dreams. Through trust, strong relationships and hard work, you may be the perfect person for this role. As long as you do not forget to surround yourselves with people who are experts at the things you don’t know well, you should be good.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved into a new apartment complex. While having my gas turned on, we discovered that the water heater wasn’t connected. Of course, this happened right before the weekend, so unless maintenance fixed it while the gas company was there, I was going to have to go several days without hot water. It was before operating hours, so I went to the complex’s maintenance shop to see if anyone would help. One maintenance worker volunteered and completely saved the day! He gave me his number, and I called him to come to fix my washer the next day.

After that, we began talking on the phone. I learned that he’s a single parent like me, and he recently started his own maintenance contracting business, so he's also an entrepreneur like me. We have a lot in common.

It’s been a few weeks now, and I’ve invited him on a few outings around town, but he kindly declines each time. He talks to me like he’s interested in me, but he’s not making any moves to date me. How do I know if this is going anywhere? -- Are You My Man?

DEAR ARE YOU MY MAN?: This man sounds interesting, and obviously he likes to talk to you. There may be rules at his job that prohibit him from dating anyone who lives in the complex where he works. He may not want to mix business with pleasure, or there could be some other reason. Ask him. Be direct: Tell him you like him and ask him if he likes you. Why not? You can also ask him if there’s some reason why he won’t go out with you. Be prepared to accept his answer or attempt to get him to discuss it further. You may have a breakthrough with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 20-year-old son lives with me. He has been dating a disrespectful girl for two years now. In the beginning, I made assumptions about her because most of her social media photos were of her making obscene gestures and such, but I tried to get to know her better in the hope that maybe I was wrong about her. I wasn't. She is rude, disrespectful and selfish. She talks to my son like he's nothing when she's mad, and I see him spending the majority of his paycheck on her. Just recently she spoke very unkindly to me. I’ve had a talk with my son about it, but he thinks I’m exaggerating. What should I do? -- Disrespectful

DEAR DISRESPECTFUL: You may not be able to get through to your son, but you certainly should try. Sit down with him and ask him what he wants in life. What type of relationship does he want to have long-term? What qualities does he appreciate in a partner? Ask him to take the questions seriously. Then ask him if his girlfriend matches the qualities he values. Using specific examples if possible, ask him how he feels when his girlfriend belittles him or speaks to him in disparaging tones. Ask him if that’s how he wants to feel. Assure him that you are not trying to run his life for him, but instead you hope that he will find happiness and partnership. What you have observed over the past two years is anything but that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)