DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved into a new apartment complex. While having my gas turned on, we discovered that the water heater wasn’t connected. Of course, this happened right before the weekend, so unless maintenance fixed it while the gas company was there, I was going to have to go several days without hot water. It was before operating hours, so I went to the complex’s maintenance shop to see if anyone would help. One maintenance worker volunteered and completely saved the day! He gave me his number, and I called him to come to fix my washer the next day.

After that, we began talking on the phone. I learned that he’s a single parent like me, and he recently started his own maintenance contracting business, so he's also an entrepreneur like me. We have a lot in common.

It’s been a few weeks now, and I’ve invited him on a few outings around town, but he kindly declines each time. He talks to me like he’s interested in me, but he’s not making any moves to date me. How do I know if this is going anywhere? -- Are You My Man?

DEAR ARE YOU MY MAN?: This man sounds interesting, and obviously he likes to talk to you. There may be rules at his job that prohibit him from dating anyone who lives in the complex where he works. He may not want to mix business with pleasure, or there could be some other reason. Ask him. Be direct: Tell him you like him and ask him if he likes you. Why not? You can also ask him if there’s some reason why he won’t go out with you. Be prepared to accept his answer or attempt to get him to discuss it further. You may have a breakthrough with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 20-year-old son lives with me. He has been dating a disrespectful girl for two years now. In the beginning, I made assumptions about her because most of her social media photos were of her making obscene gestures and such, but I tried to get to know her better in the hope that maybe I was wrong about her. I wasn't. She is rude, disrespectful and selfish. She talks to my son like he's nothing when she's mad, and I see him spending the majority of his paycheck on her. Just recently she spoke very unkindly to me. I’ve had a talk with my son about it, but he thinks I’m exaggerating. What should I do? -- Disrespectful

DEAR DISRESPECTFUL: You may not be able to get through to your son, but you certainly should try. Sit down with him and ask him what he wants in life. What type of relationship does he want to have long-term? What qualities does he appreciate in a partner? Ask him to take the questions seriously. Then ask him if his girlfriend matches the qualities he values. Using specific examples if possible, ask him how he feels when his girlfriend belittles him or speaks to him in disparaging tones. Ask him if that’s how he wants to feel. Assure him that you are not trying to run his life for him, but instead you hope that he will find happiness and partnership. What you have observed over the past two years is anything but that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: During the pandemic, I got wrapped up in watching movies and series on Netflix. I can’t even tell you how many shows I have binge-watched. Plus, there are the old movies, new films and documentaries I consumed. I really got into it, so much so that I am still hooked. My friends invite me out to do things with them, but I usually decline because I want to watch something on a streaming platform. I have even gone to work late more than a few times because I stayed up all night watching endless episodes of something that caught my eye.

I think this is a problem. I know it’s nothing like drinking or doing drugs, but it still is out of control. I need to be able to have a social life as well. Right now, it’s mainly just me and my TV. How can I break away? -- No More Binge-Watching

DEAR NO MORE BINGE-WATCHING: Turn off the TV and sit still for a moment. Ask yourself what you want for your life. Who do you want to spend time with? What makes you happy outside of the rabbit hole of streaming? It may take a bit for you to concentrate on things other than the entertainment you have been consuming, but you can do it. You can also set time limits around when you allow yourself to have the TV on. Create boundaries. Write out a schedule for your day that includes all activities, including work, exercise, eating and fun. Schedule in time with friends and, whenever possible, time outside of your house. You can wean yourself off of these shows. It starts with getting up and walking away from the screen.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son wants to go into the military. On one hand, I can see how it might be good for him. He lacks structure in his life, and I believe he will have no choice but to learn discipline in order to survive while in the service. Still, I can’t help but worry that this is a dangerous job. I know people who have served over the years. Some were killed in the line of duty. Others came back with severe mental or emotional trauma. Some are OK, I guess. You don’t hear as much about the ones who didn’t have problems.

This is my boy. I don’t want to see him get hurt, but I do want him to grow into a responsible man. I think the military might help. What do you think? -- Military Man

DEAR MILITARY MAN: All parents worry about their children. No matter what, you want to protect your child from harm. You are right -- there is a lot of structure in the military. If your son needs rules, regulations, guidelines and schedules to sharpen his focus, the military may be perfect for him. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. It’s hard work. If he wants to do it, encourage him. He should also think about what type of work he would like to do afterward. The military offers lots of training opportunities that can set people up for professional success upon discharge.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been challenging for me. I started having heart palpitations and couldn’t figure out why. After a bunch of tests, the doctor could not necessarily pinpoint the root cause of my problems, but he did tell me to stop drinking coffee because it seems to make my heart race. The thing is, I absolutely LOVE coffee, and I haven’t been able to follow my doctor’s orders. I do feel my heart racing sometimes after I drink it, but I still can’t help myself. I don’t want to create a major health problem for myself. I stopped doing the other things that the doctor warned me about. Why can’t I keep just one vice? -- Addicted to Coffee

DEAR ADDICTED TO COFFEE: You have to come to terms with your reality. Sure, it may be hard to break a habit that you enjoy so much. But is it worth risking your health and possibly your life? Think about that seriously.

Talk to your doctor about alternatives. Find out if decaf coffee or a half-and-half mixture of regular and decaf is an option for you. There are also teas that have a rich flavor that is similar to coffee but that aren’t as full of caffeine.

Until you have figured out exactly what is going on in your body, you should follow your doctor’s advice. To learn more about the causes of heart palpitations, read this: hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/palpitations.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just had a huge fight with my husband for the gazillionth time. The arguments all seem to blur together after a while. We say the same things, yell about the same topics and resolve nothing. The next day, he always acts like nothing happened, but it is hard for me to let go of the fact that he just finished cussing me out or belittling me the day before. He says I interrupt him all the time and blame him for everything.

I don’t see his side at all, and I can tell he doesn’t see mine. When I have asked him repeatedly about going to counseling, he vehemently refuses, even though he used to go to counseling himself years ago. I am at my wit’s end. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. If I say the wrong thing, he will explode. How can I go forward in peace? -- No More Eggshells

DEAR NO MORE EGGSHELLS: Just because your husband won’t get counseling doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Get some help sorting through your issues. A professional therapist should be able to listen to you, ask questions that get you thinking and make recommendations for healthier ways to engage with your husband. If you begin to change the way that you interact with him, it may prompt change on his part as well.

As you have experienced, an escalating argument is rarely the way to solve problems. Seek help to learn other strategies for effective communication with your husband. As you see results, invite your husband to join you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)