DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently made the difficult decision to sever ties with my sibling due to ongoing disrespectful behavior toward me. Although my mother has expressed sadness over our lack of communication, my sibling has yet to acknowledge their actions or apologize for their behavior. I tried to communicate my feelings with them and hoped for change, but nothing seemed to work. It hurts me to not have them in my life, but the constant negativity was too much to handle. My sibling has severe anger and behavioral issues, so as the level-headed one, I am left feeling guilty even though I am not the one who disrespected them. Was I wrong to sever ties? How do I know that I am doing the right thing? -- Protecting My Peace

DEAR PROTECTING MY PEACE: Severing ties today does not necessarily have to mean forever. Perhaps some time apart will help your sibling to notice things about their behavior and your interactions that are worthy of addressing. Time will tell.

While your mother is sad, do your best not to talk negatively about your sibling to her. She loves you both, so it’s an impossible situation for her. It would break her spirit to have to take sides. Instead, just love her and be with her when the moment calls for it, and avoid talking about your sibling. Try not to feel guilty about things that you cannot control. Live your life and see if you can begin to feel less stressed by no longer interacting with your sibling. Find your peace and nurture that. As time goes by, see if there is a natural reconnection that happens. But don’t force it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is recklessly irresponsible when it comes to dealing with the IRS. He avoids doing his taxes and ignores mail that comes in from them. This has been stressing me out for years. Every time I bring it up, he screams at me and shuts down the conversation. Last week he got a letter from the IRS basically with an ultimatum. This time he sat down and told me about it. I recommended that he get on the phone with them and make a payment plan. I hope he does it, but I cannot take on this responsibility for him. I have tried to help him only to have to endure his hostility and rage. I did make it clear, though, that they will garnish his wages if he doesn’t handle his business. Is there anything else I can do to be supportive? I draw the line at doing his taxes for him. -- Facing the IRS

DEAR FACING THE IRS: You can help him establish a timeline for taking action. Perhaps you can create a calendar with him that includes the date he will call them -- TODAY -- followed by whatever dates he agrees to complete tasks. Let him be the guardian of the calendar. You can just help him to set it up so that he can honor whatever agreement he makes with them. Hopefully you two file separately so that if the IRS does garnish his wages, you are not directly impacted.

To learn about your eligibility to make a deal with the IRS, go to: irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/offer-in-compromise-faqs#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20a%20legitimate,pay%20the%20entire%20amount%20owed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend or family member who wrote me an anonymous note telling me that I should teach my 13-year-old son to have better hygiene. I opened my mailbox last week and found it, and I started crying. My family and I live on a farm, and my son loves to spend a lot of time with our pigs, cows and goats. He loves taking care of them every day because they are his pride and joy. As a result of this, he and his clothes often end up having a distinct scent on them from the animals. He tries to get it off of him, but it sticks.

I am offended and upset that someone wouldn’t have the guts to tell me to my face. Instead, they chose to leave a note without signing their name. I now feel as if I can’t trust the people around me anymore, and I feel as if it could’ve been anyone from my life. How am I supposed to find out who did this and confront them? -- My Son’s Hygiene

DEAR MY SON’S HYGIENE: I’m sorry, but I think you are looking at this through the wrong lens. It isn’t that the person lacks courage. I believe the message was delivered anonymously so that you can seriously address this situation rather than get in a rage over the messenger. Stop trying to figure out who wrote it. Start getting creative on helping your teen son learn how to take better care of his body and clothing as he continues to love his animals.

This may mean separating what clothes he can wear when handling the animals -- including washing and storing them separately as well. Find a stronger soap for him to bathe his body. Ask some of your male farmer friends what they recommend for cleanliness. This is not a new problem for farmers. Somebody should have solutions you can try. Forgive the messenger, and receive the message.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend's aunt allowed me to rent a room in her house until October. However, I found a new place and will be moving out earlier than expected. Now my friend's aunt is expecting me to pay rent for the month of September, even though I won't be living there. While I understand it was a previously agreed-upon arrangement, I can't help feeling uncomfortable about this request. It’s not like I signed a lease or anything. Would I be wrong to decline? -- Moving Out

DEAR MOVING OUT: Though you did not sign a lease, you had an agreement that you are breaking. Your moving out impacts this woman’s income. Yes, you should pay her the full amount you committed to giving her. If you absolutely cannot pay her for the time you committed to staying at her home, offer to pay her at least half. She deserves to be paid for the time you reserved that room. You should not have an attitude about it. She rescued you in your time of need. Don’t disrespect her now because you are moving on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been fighting with my sister for a decade. I want to end it but don't know how. My sister and I haven’t been speaking because of a childish argument we had when we were 20 years old. I honestly can’t even remember what it was about and have really missed talking to her. We were best friends growing up and would tell each other everything. We are both stubborn and set in our ways, so neither of us wants to admit we are wrong. I don’t have her phone number, but I have been considering asking my brother or parents for it. I don’t want to look like the weak sister, but I really miss her. Do you think it would be too random for me to call her up after a decade? I feel as if I have missed way too much of her life, and I’m sad that our small argument went this far. -- Time for Amends

DEAR TIME FOR AMENDS: Someone has to take the first step. Please know that doing so is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of awareness. Time is passing. Life is moving on, and you two have been stuck, at least as it relates to each other. By all means, get your sister’s number and reach out to her. There is a chance that she remembers exactly what happened between you, so tread lightly. Tell her that you are deeply saddened that you two have been estranged for so long. Apologize for hurting her in whatever ways that you did, and ask her if she is willing to rekindle your relationship. Tell her how much you miss her, and recall how close you once were. Ask her for a second chance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 65 years old and want to sell my business instead of leaving it to my son. I have worked very hard to run the business that I’ve had for 20 years. I was able to save up a decent amount for retirement, but not quite enough to sustain me through it, so I want to use the profits from the sale to reach my goal. My son hasn’t helped me run my restaurant, but now he expects me to give it to him. He didn’t ask me to buy it, just to pass the business off to him because he said it was his right as my son. I told him if he gave me a fair offer, I would consider selling it to him, but he told me he didn’t have anything to offer me. I responded by saying I was going to have to sell it to someone else. He ended up freaking out and saying that he was never going to forgive me or talk to me again. It’s been two weeks without any contact. I love my son, but I need to make sure I have enough money for retirement. How do I approach the next move? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: You have to take care of yourself. Your son has demonstrated no interest in helping you with your business, and you have no obligation to give it to him -- even if it hurts his feelings that you will not. The reality is that if you do not liquidate the business so that you can take care of yourself, he will end up having to support you in your later years, which it seems he cannot afford to do. Let him cool down. But do not be dissuaded from your decision.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)