DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is renting a home from friends for the summer. We had guests arrive this week, and as soon as one of them showed up, she walked through the screen door, destroying the frame. She did not get hurt, but the door is busted. We don’t have a contract with our friends, but I’m wondering who is liable. Do we need to pay for the door replacement, given that this happened on our watch? We would like to stay here again, but we aren’t thrilled about having to shell out money for the door. What is your take on this? -- Liability

DEAR LIABILITY: Legally, you may not be liable since you have no contract, but you need to look at the big picture. If you do not pay for the damage that occurred during your stay -- courtesy of your guests -- chances are, you will not be invited back. Your friend who broke the door should offer to pay for the damages, by the way. But you should shoulder the responsibility since the house was under your care when the incident occurred. Don’t make your hosts ask you for it either. Be proactive and let them know that you intend to handle it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a stay-at-home wife, and I do not have any children. While I understand that some people might not see this as a conventional situation, I have grown increasingly frustrated with people asking me what I do all day. It almost feels like they are suggesting that I do not have a purpose or that my days are empty and meaningless. Having a full-time career has never been a goal of mine, and I would much rather be a housewife than work a job I am not passionate about. So, my question is, how do I respond to these kinds of questions? How do I let people know that my life has value and that being a housewife without children is just as fulfilling as any other occupation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- Fulfilled

DEAR FULFILLED: People live all kinds of ways. You are entitled to live based on your desires and capabilities. Too often, people have strong opinions about how those without children spend their time. They attempt to fill in the blanks with their own preconceived notion of what is normal or appropriate. Don’t fall into that trap. If others don’t understand how you live, that’s their problem -- unless you make it your own. Don’t.

You may want to form a narrative for yourself of what your life is like. What do you do all day? How do you occupy your time? Think about that seriously and record the answers -- but only for yourself. Then design a narrative that paints a clear-enough picture of your world for your friends and associates while also keeping your world private from those you do not deem worthy of being invited in.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, I was deeply hurt by my childhood friend. During that time, I confided in my loved ones about my decision to end my friendship with this person, explaining the details of the situation and vowing to end the friendship once and for all. Everyone close to me was proud that I’d decided to cut this person out of my life.

Over time, I found it in my heart to forgive my friend, understanding that people can make mistakes and change. My friend and I have since made up, and I continue to spend time with them, but I feel slightly ashamed of myself for forgiving them. I find myself hiding our friendship from the loved ones I confided in about it. I am questioning whether this makes me a hypocrite or if it is acceptable to move past this person's mistakes. I’m not even sure why I feel the need to hide this friend that I’ve reconciled with. Am I wrong to feel ashamed? How do I move forward? -- Reconciliation

DEAR RECONCILIATION: Do some self-reflection to assess your reasons for distancing yourself from this person in the first place. What did they do to you? How impactful was their behavior on your mental health? It’s great that you have forgiven them, as that helps you immeasurably. Holding on to grudges is unhealthy for you.

Go back to what happened and where you stand today. If you feel that it is worthwhile for you to be in a friendship again with this person, drum up the courage to tell your loved ones. Be ready to support your decision with real reasons. If you are clear, they will come around eventually, after checking to make sure your new old friend has earned back your friendship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have distanced myself from an industry that I once really wanted to work in, but I made a few great friends while working in that field. I bonded with one friend in particular, and we have kept in touch regularly even after I decided to explore new professions.

Over time, I have taken it upon myself to introduce this friend to gigs and opportunities that I’m offered but am no longer interested in. Even though he takes the jobs, he’s not super grateful for them. The problem now is that I don't have any other acquaintances suitable for these opportunities. What should I do? -- Ungrateful

DEAR UNGRATEFUL: Given how helpful you have been to your former industry members, they will always remember you for your resourcefulness and generosity. Tell them honestly that you no longer have immediate contacts who are interested in their offers, but you hope to stay in touch with them. Continue to nurture the friend bond with them. You never know when their connections may be valuable to you, not just to your acquaintances.

If there is the potential for you to reenter that space, don’t sever those bonds. Instead, consider how your current interests may overlap with your past. Very often, people have created bridges between one part of their life and another. Why can’t you?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the sixth of 13 siblings. We are mostly all grown up, with the youngest still in college. I am 31 years old and have been able to make something out of myself financially. I worked hard in high school so I could go to college on a full ride. I took advantage of networking opportunities at my university and was able to land a good job after college and move my way up since. This, however, was much easier said than done. It took a lot of discipline to be able to achieve this success because my family grew up very poor. Most of my siblings haven’t been able to make it out of poverty, and they resent me for my success.

All 12 of my siblings and my parents constantly ask me for money, but I can’t support all of them. I am doing well, but not well enough to be sending large amounts of cash to 14 people. They all think I’m selfish for this. How do I tell them I’m not able to support them all financially, even though it breaks my heart to watch them struggle? -- Gravy Train

DEAR GRAVY TRAIN: It’s time for strategy. I have a friend who set up a fund for her family. In order to access the money in the family fund, you have to have a goal and a plan. You get to withdraw funds if you are committed to growing your life and making the best out of your circumstances. She set specific criteria that family members must fulfill. Because there were guidelines, the transaction was no longer personal, and everyone had a goal to reach.

Consider setting up an account where you put the money you can share. Tell your family you will give them access to it based on certain parameters. Have someone else administer it. Say no to all other requests.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This will be my second year ever living with a roommate. I am an only child, and I had my first-ever roommate during my first year of college. We chose random selection and ended up getting lucky in how well we gelled and shared the space. We weren’t in the same friend group, which helped when drama came up, and we never had any problems with each other.

This year, I planned out my living situation with one of my best friends from school. We are in the same immediate group of friends, and we get along well and will respect each other’s spaces, but I am worried about how to avoid conflict at home when drama arises in the friend group. Do you have any tips on how a conversation should go if we get into an argument so that it is not awkward at home? -- Living With Friend

DEAR LIVING WITH FRIEND: Establish house rules about topics that should be off-limits, just like you set them up regarding cleanliness and visitation. Be specific and clear. Ask your roommate to agree with you to limit friend-group drama to particular times of day when both of you agree to talk about it. You should do the same with the whole group. After a certain time, you shut it down. Don’t allow yourself to get consumed by social drama. It will impact your studies and your peace of mind. You can say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)