DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, I was deeply hurt by my childhood friend. During that time, I confided in my loved ones about my decision to end my friendship with this person, explaining the details of the situation and vowing to end the friendship once and for all. Everyone close to me was proud that I’d decided to cut this person out of my life.

Over time, I found it in my heart to forgive my friend, understanding that people can make mistakes and change. My friend and I have since made up, and I continue to spend time with them, but I feel slightly ashamed of myself for forgiving them. I find myself hiding our friendship from the loved ones I confided in about it. I am questioning whether this makes me a hypocrite or if it is acceptable to move past this person's mistakes. I’m not even sure why I feel the need to hide this friend that I’ve reconciled with. Am I wrong to feel ashamed? How do I move forward? -- Reconciliation

DEAR RECONCILIATION: Do some self-reflection to assess your reasons for distancing yourself from this person in the first place. What did they do to you? How impactful was their behavior on your mental health? It’s great that you have forgiven them, as that helps you immeasurably. Holding on to grudges is unhealthy for you.

Go back to what happened and where you stand today. If you feel that it is worthwhile for you to be in a friendship again with this person, drum up the courage to tell your loved ones. Be ready to support your decision with real reasons. If you are clear, they will come around eventually, after checking to make sure your new old friend has earned back your friendship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have distanced myself from an industry that I once really wanted to work in, but I made a few great friends while working in that field. I bonded with one friend in particular, and we have kept in touch regularly even after I decided to explore new professions.

Over time, I have taken it upon myself to introduce this friend to gigs and opportunities that I’m offered but am no longer interested in. Even though he takes the jobs, he’s not super grateful for them. The problem now is that I don't have any other acquaintances suitable for these opportunities. What should I do? -- Ungrateful

DEAR UNGRATEFUL: Given how helpful you have been to your former industry members, they will always remember you for your resourcefulness and generosity. Tell them honestly that you no longer have immediate contacts who are interested in their offers, but you hope to stay in touch with them. Continue to nurture the friend bond with them. You never know when their connections may be valuable to you, not just to your acquaintances.

If there is the potential for you to reenter that space, don’t sever those bonds. Instead, consider how your current interests may overlap with your past. Very often, people have created bridges between one part of their life and another. Why can’t you?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the sixth of 13 siblings. We are mostly all grown up, with the youngest still in college. I am 31 years old and have been able to make something out of myself financially. I worked hard in high school so I could go to college on a full ride. I took advantage of networking opportunities at my university and was able to land a good job after college and move my way up since. This, however, was much easier said than done. It took a lot of discipline to be able to achieve this success because my family grew up very poor. Most of my siblings haven’t been able to make it out of poverty, and they resent me for my success.

All 12 of my siblings and my parents constantly ask me for money, but I can’t support all of them. I am doing well, but not well enough to be sending large amounts of cash to 14 people. They all think I’m selfish for this. How do I tell them I’m not able to support them all financially, even though it breaks my heart to watch them struggle? -- Gravy Train

DEAR GRAVY TRAIN: It’s time for strategy. I have a friend who set up a fund for her family. In order to access the money in the family fund, you have to have a goal and a plan. You get to withdraw funds if you are committed to growing your life and making the best out of your circumstances. She set specific criteria that family members must fulfill. Because there were guidelines, the transaction was no longer personal, and everyone had a goal to reach.

Consider setting up an account where you put the money you can share. Tell your family you will give them access to it based on certain parameters. Have someone else administer it. Say no to all other requests.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This will be my second year ever living with a roommate. I am an only child, and I had my first-ever roommate during my first year of college. We chose random selection and ended up getting lucky in how well we gelled and shared the space. We weren’t in the same friend group, which helped when drama came up, and we never had any problems with each other.

This year, I planned out my living situation with one of my best friends from school. We are in the same immediate group of friends, and we get along well and will respect each other’s spaces, but I am worried about how to avoid conflict at home when drama arises in the friend group. Do you have any tips on how a conversation should go if we get into an argument so that it is not awkward at home? -- Living With Friend

DEAR LIVING WITH FRIEND: Establish house rules about topics that should be off-limits, just like you set them up regarding cleanliness and visitation. Be specific and clear. Ask your roommate to agree with you to limit friend-group drama to particular times of day when both of you agree to talk about it. You should do the same with the whole group. After a certain time, you shut it down. Don’t allow yourself to get consumed by social drama. It will impact your studies and your peace of mind. You can say no.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a bad driver, and I'm constantly scared I am going to crash. I grew up in a suburb, but I have been thinking of moving to a bigger city, like Los Angeles, New York City or Washington, D.C., for job possibilities. Having a car in these cities isn’t totally necessary but would make my life a lot more convenient. My driving skills, however, would not be able to withstand the crazy traffic of the city. I’m scared that I would crash and do a poor job of driving and navigating my way through the city.

I am 20 years old, and I haven’t driven very much because my mom has made it something that I fear and would always make an excuse to drive for me. Also, I attend college at a school where I don’t need a car. Do you think it’s worth the money and the stress of having a car in a big city, or should I see how things go first and wait to buy a car? -- Bad Driver

DEAR BAD DRIVER: The good news is that in New York or D.C. you can get around fairly well without a car. Los Angeles is a different story. If you don’t want to have to drive, looking at large metropolitan areas with excellent public transportation systems is wise.

Beyond that, though, is the reality that you are a new driver. Don’t give up yet. You need to practice in safe areas where you can get comfortable behind the wheel. Work on perfecting your driving skills now. Trust that you can do it. Then, wherever you live, you will have the capacity to drive even if you don’t have to do it that often.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After an unfortunate ending to my last relationship, I swore off dates and anything even remotely serious because I was not treated seriously in the past. I was a bit upset at myself for a while because I would talk to new people and get to a point of being ready to go out with them, but then I'd find a way to cancel before I had to commit to anything. It wasn’t fair to the people involved, and it did not satisfy me in any way to call everything off, but I wasn’t ready yet.

Now I am over what happened in my last relationship, and I am ready to get back into dating, but a lot of people, especially my age, are in it for only one thing. It is hard to make genuine connections now, and I do not want to get hurt again. Do you have any advice about how to stay true to myself and set the right standards when dating again? -- Ready To Date Again

DEAR READY TO DATE AGAIN: Be clear about what you are looking for and what your boundaries are. Just because dates press for one thing doesn’t mean they deserve to get it. What is your list of requirements for building a relationship? Write it down and get to know it. What do you want? You don’t have to tell your dates. Just know.

You can be clear with them about boundaries from the start when you feel that’s necessary. As things unfold, be upfront about expectations. Your transparency will help you weed out uncommitted potential partners and show you who is willing to wait to get to know you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)