DEAR HARRIETTE: Because I’ve garnered a large following on social media, I get a lot of people asking me how to grow their own online following. While I appreciate the support, I have to admit that I don't really know how to help them. My own following just kind of happened by chance, and I don't have the expertise to make it happen for others. I get asked so often about my following that I’m starting to think I’m missing out on a good opportunity by not capitalizing on it. What should I do? -- New Opportunities

DEAR NEW OPPORTUNITIES: Since you continue to be asked, it may be worth it first for you to think carefully about what you have done that has worked and what you can share about your process. While you say your growth has happened by chance, that’s likely not entirely true. Review what you did and when, how you shared your thoughts, feelings, experiences and values, and how people responded. Try to remember when you joined different platforms, and pay attention to how each platform works for you.

Then, if you want to consider giving advice about how to develop a social media presence as a business, do your research to learn what people charge for this service. Using the industry standard as your guide, inform the next person who asks you that you have established a home business to help people set themselves up for success. While there are no guarantees, you can promise to teach what you know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm in my late 20s and have been dating a man in his early 30s for a few months now. Recently, he mustered the courage to open up about his past as a huge bully in high school. While I admire his honesty, part of me wonders if it would have been better for him to keep his past hidden. I myself was bullied relentlessly in high school, so hearing him admit to this really made me nervous. Is it truly possible for someone to change and grow out of such a harmful mindset? -- Ugly Past

DEAR UGLY PAST: I will start by saying that I was bullied in high school by a girl who, many years later, has become a friend who is kind and loving. I have marveled at how shocking that change of attitude was, but her recent behavior has been consistent.

What I will say to you is that you should have a frank conversation with this man. Tell him how upsetting it was for you to learn his truth, even as you are grateful that he confided in you. Tell him about your experience. Share details about what happened to you and how it felt. Also, express your worry that his behavior in the past may manifest in the present or future. Be open and honest. Otherwise, there is no chance of this relationship working. Use the honesty between you to have deep and vulnerable conversations. Perhaps you can heal together. I highly recommend therapy to move things along.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A close friend of mine has approached me, asking for my support as she fights for custody of her children. However, as much as I care for her, I have reservations about whether she truly deserves full custody. While I don't want to betray her trust, I also want what's best for the kids. How can I handle this situation delicately and responsibly without jeopardizing our friendship? -- Sticky Situation

DEAR STICKY SITUATION: Sometimes being a good friend means risking your friendship, potentially forever. What do I mean by that? If you are worried about your friend’s children’s well-being, please do not endorse her plan for full custody. Instead, talk to her privately for as long as she allows about her options and what’s best for her kids. Admit that you are worried about her readiness for full custody. Though she and her ex are no longer a couple, there is a chance that they can co-parent effectively.

Recommend that she consider this path and that she agree to talk to her ex about the option. This way they share responsibilities. They will have to work to learn how to agree to disagree and how they can companionably parent their children. Unless her ex is a terrible, irresponsible person, she has the chance to figure out a way forward with him sharing the load. That makes winners all around and less stress, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I consider myself to be a night owl, and this has been true about me for much of my life. But recently, it is beginning to feel like insomnia because it is not just that I go to sleep very late, but I also struggle with falling and staying asleep. I find that it is extremely hard for me to fall asleep before 3 a.m., no matter what time I get in bed. The following day, I feel exhausted and in need of a nap, but since I am working, it is hard to find the time. I am about to go back to school, and I feel that it would be in my best interest to fix my sleep schedule a little before I have to get back into the groove of classes. Do you have any tips on how to wind down before bed? -- Sleep

DEAR SLEEP: Map out a schedule of your weekly responsibilities. Write it all down on a calendar so that it is evident to you what you must do. This can help you to visualize what you have to do a week ahead. Having a plan before you go to sleep can help you to have a quieter head.

Additionally, turn off your electronics an hour before you want to be asleep. No phone, headphones, TV, etc. You can read a book, but no other stimulation. Do a mini meditation where you sit quietly and breathe deeply, inviting yourself to pause. Use that time to consciously become still. You will sleep better over time. When racing thoughts come in, just breathe, and tell yourself that your day is done. You have had all the excitement you need. Now is time to be quiet and rest.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned about how my co-worker is being treated by our colleagues. She is a new hire and is constantly being labeled as "sassy" and "aggressive" behind her back. The thing is, I have never witnessed this behavior from her. She seems nice enough -- and far from aggressive. I think the woman just wants to do her job. The only difference between her and our other co-workers is that she is a woman of color. I’ve started to call out my co-workers when they start gossiping about her, but it’s only led to them treating me poorly, too. What should I do? I can’t report the whole staff to HR. -- Work Bullies

DEAR WORK BULLIES: Thank goodness you are there and willing to stand up for this new hire. Being willing to stand in harm’s way on another’s behalf is brave and necessary sometimes -- even when it can make life hard for you as well. I do think you should go to HR and report all of the people who are bullying you and this woman. Have specific examples to share with them about the offensive behavior. Your company may need some sensitivity training. Perhaps this can be a teaching moment for everyone.

If the company does nothing, that will let you know what the two of you are dealing with. Then you have the choice to stay and do your job, knowing that the company doesn’t have your back in that way, or leave. If you stay, do your best to forge positive relationships with anyone who feels right, including the new hire.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just arrived in northern Africa for a family trip, and it is excruciatingly hot. My dad’s side of the family is from here, but they all wear very religious attire. I did not grow up religious, and I was unaware of the dress code here. But in this heat, I am not sure that I can last these next two weeks covered in clothes without suffering from heat stroke. I want to be respectful, but I also do not speak their language, and I do not know how to ask them what I should be wearing to stay cool. At home, I would be considered to be dressed modestly, but here, I feel scantily clad with my shoulders and legs out. Do you know what to wear to keep cool in extreme heat? Do you have any suggestions as to how I should ask my family what to wear so that I do not offend them? -- Heat Vs. Clothes

DEAR HEAT VS. CLOTHES: Find someone who knows a bit of English who can help you to translate your concerns. Even without the language, you can point to your family and to yourself and your clothes and indicate that you want them to share some of their clothes with you. Don’t worry. You will not overheat by wearing what they wear. Believe it or not, many people who live in hot areas cover their bodies to help keep cool. It seems like it doesn’t make sense, but even people in the desert cover most of their skin for protection from the sun.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)