DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned about how my co-worker is being treated by our colleagues. She is a new hire and is constantly being labeled as "sassy" and "aggressive" behind her back. The thing is, I have never witnessed this behavior from her. She seems nice enough -- and far from aggressive. I think the woman just wants to do her job. The only difference between her and our other co-workers is that she is a woman of color. I’ve started to call out my co-workers when they start gossiping about her, but it’s only led to them treating me poorly, too. What should I do? I can’t report the whole staff to HR. -- Work Bullies

DEAR WORK BULLIES: Thank goodness you are there and willing to stand up for this new hire. Being willing to stand in harm’s way on another’s behalf is brave and necessary sometimes -- even when it can make life hard for you as well. I do think you should go to HR and report all of the people who are bullying you and this woman. Have specific examples to share with them about the offensive behavior. Your company may need some sensitivity training. Perhaps this can be a teaching moment for everyone.

If the company does nothing, that will let you know what the two of you are dealing with. Then you have the choice to stay and do your job, knowing that the company doesn’t have your back in that way, or leave. If you stay, do your best to forge positive relationships with anyone who feels right, including the new hire.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just arrived in northern Africa for a family trip, and it is excruciatingly hot. My dad’s side of the family is from here, but they all wear very religious attire. I did not grow up religious, and I was unaware of the dress code here. But in this heat, I am not sure that I can last these next two weeks covered in clothes without suffering from heat stroke. I want to be respectful, but I also do not speak their language, and I do not know how to ask them what I should be wearing to stay cool. At home, I would be considered to be dressed modestly, but here, I feel scantily clad with my shoulders and legs out. Do you know what to wear to keep cool in extreme heat? Do you have any suggestions as to how I should ask my family what to wear so that I do not offend them? -- Heat Vs. Clothes

DEAR HEAT VS. CLOTHES: Find someone who knows a bit of English who can help you to translate your concerns. Even without the language, you can point to your family and to yourself and your clothes and indicate that you want them to share some of their clothes with you. Don’t worry. You will not overheat by wearing what they wear. Believe it or not, many people who live in hot areas cover their bodies to help keep cool. It seems like it doesn’t make sense, but even people in the desert cover most of their skin for protection from the sun.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has moved back into my home after getting a divorce from his wife of one year. He is 25 years old, and I feel his marriage failed due to his misogynistic comments. Over the past couple of years, he started watching a YouTuber who has been giving him these ideas.

If I’m honest, I also feel as if his actions are a result of my poor parenting. I am his mother, and I raised him to become the man he is today. Since moving in, he has been making my two daughters’ lives much more difficult, and they will often get into arguments with him because he constantly talks down to them. As a mother, this breaks my heart, but it’s difficult to intervene and put my foot down because he is a grown man. My daughters tell me that I should kick him out of the house because he shouldn’t be here, but I’m scared to do so because his finances are really tight right now due to his divorce and inflation. How do you suggest I navigate this situation? -- Wayward Son

DEAR WAYWARD SON: You may not be ready to put your son out of your house, but surely you can lay down the law. Establish ground rules for how you expect him to behave while he is there. That includes speaking respectfully to his sisters. Give him examples of how he has been talking to them and how hurtful his words have been. Go a step further and have a serious talk with him about what happened in his marriage, how you believe the YouTuber has negatively influenced him and even how you may have steered him wrong. Now is the time for him to take control of his life. Tell him he can stay with you for a while if he is willing to treat everyone respectfully. Otherwise, he has to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm usually the type of person who loves connecting my different friend groups, but I've run into a problem with a certain friend. Whenever I introduce her to someone, she seems to latch onto them and reach out to them more often than I'd like. It's becoming an issue, and I'm regretting introducing her to certain people. She doesn't see anything wrong with it, but it's making me uncomfortable. The other day she actually reached out to my boyfriend and arranged to hang out with him while I was out of town. I’m sure it was innocent, but it was definitely awkward. How do I tell her how uncomfortable this makes me? -- Back Off

DEAR BACK OFF: Be prepared with examples of your friend’s behavior so that you can clearly illustrate your concerns. Ask her to stop sidling up to your friends so intensely. You can also learn from the past. Stop introducing her to everyone. Her behavior is likely unconscious, which means she may not know how to control herself. It is up to you to protect your relationships. You may want to tell your friends it’s OK to stop interacting with her if she makes them uncomfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend got upset with me because I am friends with her ex-boyfriend. My brother is close to him and a number of other guys, and I often hang with their group. I recently went on a trip with my brother, and my friend’s ex offered to let us stay with him. We grew close over the trip -- platonically. I am closer to him now than I am to her. They had a healthy relationship and broke up over a year ago, and she has a new boyfriend.

When she reached out to me saying that she was uncomfortable with our bond and with my tagging him in group photos, I found it odd, and I defended myself and our friendship. I would never go behind her back and I was not keeping our friendship a secret, so I was confused about her accusations. Am I wrong for continuing to be close with him when she is upset about this? I don’t understand it, especially since she has been in a new relationship for nine months. -- Friend Vs. Ex

DEAR FRIEND VS. EX: People can be weirdly possessive about their exes, even when they are involved in new relationships. Your friend may be worried that your platonic friendship may turn romantic, and even though she isn’t with him, she doesn’t want her friends to be either. This is not logical thinking, but it is common. Talk to her. Tell her how you have naturally come to be close to him. Tell her you have no intention of hurting her feelings, but he has become your close friend, and you value that friendship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my close friends grew up with really strict parents and now is a bit reckless when she goes out because of some delayed rebellion. She never learned how to conduct herself safely in nightlife while still having fun, and she often blurs the lines as a result. I am worried about her. I do not want her to end up in a bad situation, but I also do not want to seem like a buzzkill. She’s very friendly, but when people are a bit tipsy, they tend to take her kindness for flirtation. Then she asks us why they are acting weird toward her. How should I approach a conversation with her about being more aware at night -- and maybe even less friendly -- without telling her what to do or seeming like the authority that she is trying to rebel against? -- Unsafe Nightlife

DEAR UNSAFE NIGHTLIFE: Sit with your friend and tell her you need to have a heart-to-heart. Explain that you are worried about her when she goes out at night because she sometimes drinks too much and puts herself in what could be considered compromising positions. Suggest that she monitor her alcohol consumption so that she maintains complete control of her faculties. Assure her that you aren’t judging her. You are trying to have her back. If she accuses you of sounding like her parents, apologize, but stand firm. She needs to know how important it is for her to have agency over herself. Even if she gets mad at you temporarily, your candor may help save her life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)