DEAR HARRIETTE: My niece is enrolled in her third college in three years, and I am nervous that she is wasting her time and money. She started off at a school in Texas playing soccer. After many issues with her coach and teammates, she decided not to play for them the next school year and ended up leaving the college. She moved back to our home state of Ohio and went to a community college but decided it was too small for her. Now she is at our state school, and it seems as if she will stick it out.

However, she still doesn’t know what she wants to do and may have to stay three more years at this school because her credits haven’t transferred completely. I understand that she’s young and still figuring things out, but six years for a bachelor’s degree is irresponsible, in my opinion. Her parents don’t seem bothered by all the money that her indecisiveness has cost them, but I feel as if I should say something to her, so hopefully she won’t continue to live her life this way. Should I say something or keep quiet? -- Take School Seriously

DEAR TAKE SCHOOL SERIOUSLY: If you think your niece will hear you, it’s worth a try to talk to her. Do your best to speak without judgment, though. It will be hard for her to listen if she thinks you don’t respect her. Instead of criticizing her decisions directly, ask her what she wants to do with her life. What are her interests? What type of work does she want to do long-term? Encourage her to get a part-time job while she is studying. That will help her to develop the discipline of working and may help her to think about her choices.

College works for students when they take it seriously and figure out a plan for their lives. Encourage your niece to talk to her adviser, who can help her map out a strategy for the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a dental hygienist, I have been trained to pay close attention to specific signs that may indicate certain dental problems. Unfortunately, I have started to notice some troubling signs in my girlfriend's teeth, and I suspect she’s struggling with an eating disorder. The signs are unmistakable. I don't know how to bring it up to her; I don't want to sound accusatory or pushy, but at the same time, I am worried about her well-being. How do I mention my observation without offending her? -- Trained Hygienist

DEAR TRAINED HYGIENIST: Rather than accusing your girlfriend based on your training, talk to her and get a sense of what’s going on. Have you observed any behaviors that indicate that she has an eating disorder? If so, bring that up. It is true that people with eating disorders can be good at hiding their illness. If that is the case with your girlfriend, you can ask her directly. She will likely recoil and ask why you would make such an accusation. That’s when you can reveal that you see evidence of the disorder in her teeth. Offer to get her help, but know that people accept help only when they are ready for it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a brand-new mother. Recently, I've been receiving a lot of comments from friends and family about how much my infant daughter looks like her father. I'm sure these comments are meant to be a harmless observation, but I find them annoying and a bit hurtful. After all, I carried my child for nine months and would have liked her to resemble me a bit more. Am I overreacting? Should I just take the comments and let them go? Or should I confront people about their seemingly thoughtless remarks? Any advice would be appreciated. -- New Mom

DEAR NEW MOM: Take a deep breath and step back a moment. Someone once told me that it is a good thing when an infant looks like their dad because it helps the dad to feel connected to the newborn. There is an undeniable and deep connection between mother and child for the very reason you pointed out. Consider it a blessing that the child looks like her dad.

When people said that to me, I would say, “Well, that’s perfect because she is his child!” Humor can help to stave off the uncomfortable feelings. Remember that nobody can take your bond away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone snatched my phone from my pocket and took off with it a couple of weeks ago. I am far away from my friends, and my only communication with them was over the phone. It’s just my luck that these past two weeks have been filled with drama, with everyone in the loop but me. I finally got a new phone, but I cannot help but feel like I have drifted apart from my friends. They are also about to go on a trip together. I had no issues with it before, but now I feel like I will be missing out. I will not see them for another month, and I don’t want to be annoying or make anyone rehash a possibly uncomfortable moment in catching me up. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but I worry it is just going to get worse. Should I tell them how I am feeling or leave it alone until I see them again? -- Lost Contact

DEAR LOST CONTACT: You feel disconnected today, but if these truly are your friends, your connection will rekindle naturally. You may not get the blow-by-blow of everything that has occurred since you have been away and without a phone, but trust that you will get enough.

Now that you can talk to your friends again, it is OK to let them know how much you miss them and how distant you feel from them. Chances are, they miss you a lot, too. Tell them that you would like to be caught up as best they can, but put it out there that you realize that may be difficult since a lot has happened recently. Perhaps they can video chat with you when they are on their trip. That way you can be “together” from a distance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am worried my daughter is moving too fast with her boyfriend, whom she has been dating for a year. She is 19 years old, and they just bought a house with both of their names on the deed. They are still young and have a lot of growing up to do. This is a huge purchase that may end poorly if they break up.

My daughter works extremely hard and is essentially financially independent from me and my husband. She is paying for her own college and has bought her own brand-new car. I am proud of her for being able to save up enough to make these purchases, but I feel that with this house, she has gone too far. I don’t think her boyfriend is husband material, and I am nervous to see how this will turn out.

Since my daughter is so financially independent from me and is at an age where she doesn’t want to be told what to do, I fear my advice will only upset her. Should I approach her and say I think this decision is rash or just let her learn from her mistakes? -- Too Far

DEAR TOO FAR: Considering that your daughter has already made these decisions, there is very little for you to say at this point. She may be moving too fast; time will reveal whether that is true. At this moment, she is living her life, being responsible for herself and giving it a go with this man. Congratulate her on being so independent at such an early stage in her life. You can also encourage her to slow down. She has taken on a lot of debt with the house, the car and her education. Perhaps now she can stop the spending and establish a rhythm of managing these new expenses and doing her best to save some money, too. Cheerlead in that way rather than chastising her about her decisions. She will have to live with her choices. It will not help her to hear you telling her they were bad.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad has recently become friends with one of his former co-workers, “Tim.” I am happy for him because he usually doesn’t like to make new friends -- he would rather stick with his old ones. I feel a bit awkward because Tim’s son, “Mark,” and I went to high school together, and he wasn’t necessarily the nicest to me. We are now both in our early 20s, and Tim keeps finding subtle ways for Mark and me to run into each other because he is trying to set us up.

I don’t enjoy Mark’s presence in the slightest because in high school he wasn’t very respectful toward women and because of our past interactions. I understand that we have both changed a lot since high school, but I still can’t get over these things. It feels weird to bring up my concern with my dad or Tim, but I don’t want to continue having awkward conversations with Mark. What should I do? -- Awkward Interactions

DEAR AWKWARD INTERACTIONS: Without going into detail, tell your father and Tim that you see what they’re doing: trying to set you up with Mark. Ask them to stop. Tell them you remember Mark from high school, and you are not interested. Period.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)