DEAR HARRIETTE: I am worried my daughter is moving too fast with her boyfriend, whom she has been dating for a year. She is 19 years old, and they just bought a house with both of their names on the deed. They are still young and have a lot of growing up to do. This is a huge purchase that may end poorly if they break up.

My daughter works extremely hard and is essentially financially independent from me and my husband. She is paying for her own college and has bought her own brand-new car. I am proud of her for being able to save up enough to make these purchases, but I feel that with this house, she has gone too far. I don’t think her boyfriend is husband material, and I am nervous to see how this will turn out.

Since my daughter is so financially independent from me and is at an age where she doesn’t want to be told what to do, I fear my advice will only upset her. Should I approach her and say I think this decision is rash or just let her learn from her mistakes? -- Too Far

DEAR TOO FAR: Considering that your daughter has already made these decisions, there is very little for you to say at this point. She may be moving too fast; time will reveal whether that is true. At this moment, she is living her life, being responsible for herself and giving it a go with this man. Congratulate her on being so independent at such an early stage in her life. You can also encourage her to slow down. She has taken on a lot of debt with the house, the car and her education. Perhaps now she can stop the spending and establish a rhythm of managing these new expenses and doing her best to save some money, too. Cheerlead in that way rather than chastising her about her decisions. She will have to live with her choices. It will not help her to hear you telling her they were bad.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad has recently become friends with one of his former co-workers, “Tim.” I am happy for him because he usually doesn’t like to make new friends -- he would rather stick with his old ones. I feel a bit awkward because Tim’s son, “Mark,” and I went to high school together, and he wasn’t necessarily the nicest to me. We are now both in our early 20s, and Tim keeps finding subtle ways for Mark and me to run into each other because he is trying to set us up.

I don’t enjoy Mark’s presence in the slightest because in high school he wasn’t very respectful toward women and because of our past interactions. I understand that we have both changed a lot since high school, but I still can’t get over these things. It feels weird to bring up my concern with my dad or Tim, but I don’t want to continue having awkward conversations with Mark. What should I do? -- Awkward Interactions

DEAR AWKWARD INTERACTIONS: Without going into detail, tell your father and Tim that you see what they’re doing: trying to set you up with Mark. Ask them to stop. Tell them you remember Mark from high school, and you are not interested. Period.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I do not share musical tastes -- at all. In the beginning, I thought it was cute. He would listen to certain things that I had never heard of, and vice versa. We explored each other’s musical tastes a bit early on, but now it’s just annoying. When we are in the car, we have gotten to the point where whoever is driving has complete control over the music. This makes the trip annoying for both of us. I have watched us rush to the car to see who gets to drive. Silly stuff, really. This may seem small, but it has boiled to a point of contention. What can we do about it? -- Bad Music

DEAR BAD MUSIC: What types of music do you have in common? Before you say “nothing,” think about it. There is so much music out there, I bet you can find a style of music that appeals to both of you, at least in small doses. Why not suggest that next time you are in the car you switch channels every 15 minutes so that each of you gets to enjoy your own music, but you also get to explore other music choices? Suggest it as a game of sorts. As you rest on different channels, listen for a while and tell each other what you liked or didn’t like and vote on the channel. Make a note of the station so you can go back or avoid it as needed. Doing this will address the elephant in the room and also create fun where there was friction.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My older sister works for a company that I’ve always wanted to work for. I’ve had my eye on this company for years -- way before she started -- and she knows that. She won’t talk to talent acquisition about me because she fears that it will tarnish her reputation if I do poorly. She doesn’t have much faith in me even though I’m qualified for the position that I want to apply for. I really need her help getting my foot in the door. These days it’s all about who you know. How do I get her to help me? -- Conflict of Interest

DEAR CONFLICT OF INTEREST: Your sister has made it clear that she won’t help you, so stop trying to get her to be your advocate. She could be right, for other reasons. It truly could be a conflict of interest for her to recommend you. If you do get a job there, you will have to reveal that the two of you are related, which could work for or against you. The fact that she will not have been involved in your hire could be helpful, believe it or not.

Do your research. Do you know anyone else who works for the company? If not, who have you learned about who interests you? Who works in the department where you want to work? Do a cold call to that person and ask for an information interview. Be proactive in meeting and getting to know the people who may be able to open doors for you, and stop resenting your sister. Apply for the job even if you don’t make a personal connection. In your cover letter, tell them how long you have wanted to work there and why. Sell yourself, your ideas to help them and your passion for being there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend goes to college in Europe and always spends his holidays over there with his family. Due to this, I get to see him for only two weeks in the winter when he comes home. We planned a trip this summer to go backpacking across Europe with his parents and little brother, but after a messy breakup with his girlfriend, he rushed into a new relationship and the plans completely changed. Instead of our original trip, we went to stay at his new girlfriend’s house in Portugal with three of her friends. I wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea, but I was upset that I wouldn’t get as much time to see him as we planned.

On the first day, his girlfriend got in a fight with her friends, and the friends all left, so I became the third wheel. It was extremely awkward since I’m good friends with his ex. I ended up getting a hotel room instead of sleeping on the new girlfriend’s floor, and I left three days early. I really wanted to spend time with my best friend, but his girlfriend kind of ruined it. He asked me to come visit again. How do I tell him that I really don’t want to relive this trip? -- Friend Mess

DEAR FRIEND MESS: You landed in the middle of relationship drama. You can’t blame this all on the new girlfriend, though. She and her boyfriend are equally responsible. Sadly, you bore the brunt of their madness. Of course you must talk to your friend -- hopefully when his life has calmed down a bit. Tell him that you didn’t appreciate the way he treated you when you visited him. Remind him of what happened specifically and how messy it was. Point out that you are wary of visiting him again until he gets his life in order. No one wants to travel across the world only to be ignored.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got my paycheck, and I have to pay my rent before I head out to visit my parents in a different state. I planned to pay for everything today and make sure I could relax at home, but my debit card got hacked at 5 o'clock this morning. It takes five to seven business days to send me a new card, but I’ll be leaving in three. Whoever hacked me took a lot of money, so I have to transfer money from savings to pay rent.

I know it is irresponsible not to cancel the card right away, especially with my savings information attached. However, I have to pay for food, my car to the airport and my checked luggage. I don’t have enough cash to cover these next few days. I can’t lose any more money to fraud, but I also can’t go penniless for days before a trip. What do you suggest I do? I hate asking for money, but do you think it’s necessary for my financial safety? -- Hacked

DEAR HACKED: Go to your bank and speak to an official in person. Since money was taken from your account, if you can prove it, you will not be liable for it. You will get it back. Ask for a temporary emergency card that you can use while you wait for the replacement card to arrive.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)