DEAR HARRIETTE: I know you usually talk to adults, but I need help. My parents are in the middle of getting a divorce, and it’s been tough on the whole family, but it’s for the best because their relationship hasn’t been working for many years. I am 13 years old, and they told me that I need to pick who I want to live with for the majority of the year. They think it’s best that I stay in one spot for school, and it can get exhausting to have to switch houses every week.

I agree with this, but I feel that when I choose one of my parents to live with, the other will feel offended or like I’m not on their side in the divorce. They have each been telling me that they won’t be mad at me if I don’t choose them, but I am still hesitant. The weight of the choice feels very heavy on me, and my parents have been pressuring me to decide soon. How do I make this choice without rocking the boat and creating more division in my family? -- Adult Decisions

DEAR ADULT DECISIONS: Divorce is hard on every family member, and there are no easy ways of figuring it out. While this is an adult decision, it was thoughtful of your parents to ask your opinion rather than force you to do something. You must believe that they are telling you the truth. Think about where you will be most comfortable and able to do your schoolwork, enjoy your friends and feel safe at home. Go for that option with the caveat that you can change if and when you want to stay with your other parent for longer stretches. You aren’t leaving either of them behind, even though you will be living in different places.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a junior in college, pursuing immigration law. I’m passionate about this subject because I immigrated from Senegal when I was younger. However, I am struggling to get through school and stay focused on my classes. I even failed one of my classes this spring because it was very difficult and I wasn't able to keep up. This makes me nervous about pursuing law school because it will be 10 times harder than undergraduate classes.

I am thinking of taking a gap year and doing a program like Teach for America or the Peace Corps in order to reset my mind between my undergraduate degree and law school. After taking a year off, however, I don’t know if I will ever go back to law school, leaving me with a lot of useless credits. I am so far down the law track for school that switching my major would set me back and probably cause me to have to extend my time at the university. What do you suggest I do in order to set up my future for success? -- About To Give Up

DEAR ABOUT TO GIVE UP: Take a breath and get some help. Speak to your university career adviser about your situation, and work together to design a path toward success. Get tutoring for the classes that you find difficult, and rebalance your class load so that it can be easier to handle. You can expect the classes to stay difficult, but if you come up with a strategy for managing your time as you shore up your capabilities, you should be able to do it. Just make sure you get the help you need.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 24-year-old man, and I bought a trailer home about a year ago. I like that I am a homeowner, but the anxiety that comes with being one is consuming me every day. I work in construction, and I go home every day on my lunch break to ensure that nothing is wrong with it. I wake up with my heart racing, scared that something will go wrong with the electricity or plumbing -- or that I might even get robbed.

I want the liberty of being a homeowner and having property to call my own, but I don’t know how much longer I will be able to live like this. People have been suggesting selling the home and renting an apartment because there will always be maintenance costs and repairs, but in a rental those would not fall on me. I, however, like my privacy and peace, which is why I like living further out in the country in my mobile home. What do you suggest I do? -- Stay or Sell

DEAR STAY OR SELL: Calm down. Yes, it is a big deal to buy a home, but don’t give up. You can figure it out. Start with where you are parking it. Is the trailer park safe? How are other homeowners managing there? Figure out if your concerns are valid, or if you are overly worried. If the neighborhood is questionable, move. That’s the great thing about a mobile home -- you can drive to another location. Insure your home fully so that if something does happen, you are covered. Install a security system that will track any movement surrounding or within your home. Then do your best to enjoy your life. It may take some time to get used to the responsibility of owning your first home, but you can do it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a cabin where I spend a lot of time in the summer. My friends from college called and asked if they could come spend a week with me. I agreed, with the contingency that they be self-sufficient, meaning they bring their own food and cook it, stay tidy, etc. I intend to work on my art, and I don’t have time or money to play hostess. Do you think this will work? -- On Your Own

DEAR ON YOUR OWN: Think about your friends. Are they independent and responsible? Are they neat? They need to be prepared to fend for themselves and respect your space. If you believe that this group has that capability and you have been crystal clear with them about your expectations, you can extend the invitation. Be sure to tell them when you can spend time with them, whether you intend to share any meals with them and any other specifics about being in your home that you feel they should know. Since they did tell you they want to spend time with you, you must figure out how to manage that. Carve out time each day that you can devote to them so that they don’t feel like they are in a hotel. You will have to host a little bit. If you can’t, this is not the right time for them to come.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going out to dinner with friends too often this summer. We have been hanging hard, and it has been fun but expensive. Because some of us drink alcohol and others don't, I actually don’t think it’s fair for us to split the bill evenly all the time. One of my friends drinks water only. Because she is nice and doesn’t want to make waves, she never says anything. The last time she and I went to dinner just the two of us, I paid for what I consumed and did not make her split it. My bill cost almost $40 more than hers. She thanked me, but I know she isn’t going to say anything to the rest of the group. Should I? -- Fair Pay

DEAR FAIR PAY: Your friend may not want you calling attention to her specifically, but you can draw the group’s attention to what you have been spending and the fact that everybody is consuming differently. You can tell them that the two of you went out the other night and you realized how much more you had consumed than your friend, so you looked closely at the bill and noticed the difference; therefore, you paid what you owed. Recommend that you take time when you are going out with the group in the future to see what people have consumed and consider paying more equitably. If they balk, ask them how they would feel if they consumed $30 worth of food and beverage but had to pay $60 or more for it because they were with friends. That may ring more clearly to them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend I am just getting to know better. We like each other a lot and have similar backgrounds and stories. I recently learned that she has had her share of romantic liaisons over the years, even though she has been married all along.

Part of me envies her. Rather than complaining all the time about what her husband does or doesn’t do, she has filled her cup. When I look at my life, I think I have mainly complained. Do you think I should have an affair now? I’ve been married forever. Our life is snoring boring. Maybe I can spice it up with a bit of romance. -- Considering an Affair

DEAR CONSIDERING AN AFFAIR: You and your friend may have similar lives, but you are not the same. Her choices and yours are not the same. Don’t try to "fix" your life by attempting to step into her shoes. Your friend made certain choices, and her life has played out in a particular way. You have made your own choices, and those decisions have gotten you to where you are now. If you feel like there is something wrong with your marriage, deal with it, but be yourself. Stand up for what you believe and discuss that with your husband. Don’t try to be someone you are not. It will not work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)