DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going out to dinner with friends too often this summer. We have been hanging hard, and it has been fun but expensive. Because some of us drink alcohol and others don't, I actually don’t think it’s fair for us to split the bill evenly all the time. One of my friends drinks water only. Because she is nice and doesn’t want to make waves, she never says anything. The last time she and I went to dinner just the two of us, I paid for what I consumed and did not make her split it. My bill cost almost $40 more than hers. She thanked me, but I know she isn’t going to say anything to the rest of the group. Should I? -- Fair Pay

DEAR FAIR PAY: Your friend may not want you calling attention to her specifically, but you can draw the group’s attention to what you have been spending and the fact that everybody is consuming differently. You can tell them that the two of you went out the other night and you realized how much more you had consumed than your friend, so you looked closely at the bill and noticed the difference; therefore, you paid what you owed. Recommend that you take time when you are going out with the group in the future to see what people have consumed and consider paying more equitably. If they balk, ask them how they would feel if they consumed $30 worth of food and beverage but had to pay $60 or more for it because they were with friends. That may ring more clearly to them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend I am just getting to know better. We like each other a lot and have similar backgrounds and stories. I recently learned that she has had her share of romantic liaisons over the years, even though she has been married all along.

Part of me envies her. Rather than complaining all the time about what her husband does or doesn’t do, she has filled her cup. When I look at my life, I think I have mainly complained. Do you think I should have an affair now? I’ve been married forever. Our life is snoring boring. Maybe I can spice it up with a bit of romance. -- Considering an Affair

DEAR CONSIDERING AN AFFAIR: You and your friend may have similar lives, but you are not the same. Her choices and yours are not the same. Don’t try to "fix" your life by attempting to step into her shoes. Your friend made certain choices, and her life has played out in a particular way. You have made your own choices, and those decisions have gotten you to where you are now. If you feel like there is something wrong with your marriage, deal with it, but be yourself. Stand up for what you believe and discuss that with your husband. Don’t try to be someone you are not. It will not work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I go about telling my roommate that I no longer want to room with her because she snores too loudly? Our apartment lease is almost up, and we need to decide if we want to live together again and renew it. She told me she definitely wants to room together again because I was such a great roommate. She was, too. She does a really good job at cleaning up after herself and respecting my boundaries.

The big issue at hand is that she snores loudly at night, and we share a bedroom. I have lost hours of sleep because her snoring is unbearable, and I have been exhausted many times because of her. I wouldn’t consider myself a light sleeper in the slightest, either; her snoring is just that loud. How do I broach this topic lightly, as I don’t want to hurt her feelings? -- Can’t Sleep

DEAR CAN’T SLEEP: Is there any way that you can get a bigger apartment with two bedrooms? That could solve your problem. You two enjoy living together, aside from the snoring. Being in separate rooms could resolve that and help you to stay together. Talk to your roommate. Tell her the truth and recommend the solution of finding a new place to live. If neither of you wants to do that, agree to part ways. Then you will have to decide if you stay at your current location and find a new roommate or start the whole process over again.

Can you avoid hurting your roommate’s feelings? You can be kind and compassionate when you tell her. But in the end, you have to take care of yourself too. Your solution of two bedrooms shows you aren’t rejecting her. You just need some space.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need some guidance when it comes to managing my finances. I am fortunate enough to have found a living situation where my rent is quite low, but despite this, I still find myself struggling to make ends meet. Living paycheck to paycheck has become the norm for me, and I can't seem to break free from this cycle. Do you have any tips or advice on how I can become better with money? Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated. -- Struggling

DEAR STRUGGLING: Many people take on part-time jobs to help save money. You may want to consider taking on a project or finding a job on the weekends or in the evenings where you can earn some extra cash. If you save all of that money over a period of time, you will be able to create a nest egg for yourself. Yes, it takes energy and time, but it is worth it.

You can also survey your possessions and see if you can sell anything. Cook for yourself more than you eat out. Don’t buy anything that you don’t absolutely need. All of these little things add up to money in the bank.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, my friend had an extreme anxiety or panic attack that had me really frightened. We had to rush her to urgent care, and for a moment, I thought she was having a stroke. Although she was released from the hospital later, we haven't discussed it since. She seemed really embarrassed by the whole ordeal. I'm concerned for her well-being, and I'm unsure of how to bring up the subject without embarrassing her further. How do I ensure that she’s seeking help for these issues without being invasive? -- Very Concerned

DEAR VERY CONCERNED: There are no easy answers for how you can be there for your friend. My research suggests that you should not press her about the situation, but you can show her that you are there to support her in any way that you can. It is OK to ask her how she’s feeling. Be sure to listen well. Don’t interrupt her. Let her share whatever is on her heart. Do not try to fix her or her problems. If you don’t understand what she’s going through, don’t say that you do. Instead, you can be honest and say that you wish you understood, but you love her and want to help even though you cannot imagine what she’s going through.

Unless your friend is exhibiting behavior that makes you concerned for her safety, let her be. If she brings up her treatment, you can talk about it, but you shouldn’t introduce that topic now. Just be there for her, as present as she will allow you to be. For more ideas go to: hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am almost 20, and I do not have a driver’s license or permit yet. I am from New York City. It is illegal to drive in the city until you are 18, so I did not see the point in getting a permit that I was not going to be able to use. Now that I am in college, all of my friends have cars, and I cannot get around on public transportation like I am used to at home. Going away to school made me realize the importance of being able to drive. It would save me a lot of time and money on ride share services.

I am trying to get my license before I go back to school, but with such a busy summer, I am not sure that it is possible. When my friends and I were staying in the dorms at school, we did not need cars that often, but now that we will live in apartments relatively far from each other and our classes, I feel like a weak link in not being able to drive when all of my friends have had cars for three to four years. Do you think that I should rush to get my license or take my time in learning everything so that I avoid future accidents? -- Non-Driver

DEAR NON-DRIVER: If driving is important enough to you, you will make it a priority. You are already seeing that your needs change depending on where you live. Some New Yorkers never learn to drive because it isn’t necessary. If you currently live in a town that requires driving, equip yourself. Interrupt your fun to prepare for your future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)