DEAR HARRIETTE: A few weeks ago, my friend had an extreme anxiety or panic attack that had me really frightened. We had to rush her to urgent care, and for a moment, I thought she was having a stroke. Although she was released from the hospital later, we haven't discussed it since. She seemed really embarrassed by the whole ordeal. I'm concerned for her well-being, and I'm unsure of how to bring up the subject without embarrassing her further. How do I ensure that she’s seeking help for these issues without being invasive? -- Very Concerned

DEAR VERY CONCERNED: There are no easy answers for how you can be there for your friend. My research suggests that you should not press her about the situation, but you can show her that you are there to support her in any way that you can. It is OK to ask her how she’s feeling. Be sure to listen well. Don’t interrupt her. Let her share whatever is on her heart. Do not try to fix her or her problems. If you don’t understand what she’s going through, don’t say that you do. Instead, you can be honest and say that you wish you understood, but you love her and want to help even though you cannot imagine what she’s going through.

Unless your friend is exhibiting behavior that makes you concerned for her safety, let her be. If she brings up her treatment, you can talk about it, but you shouldn’t introduce that topic now. Just be there for her, as present as she will allow you to be. For more ideas go to: hopkinsmedicine.org/health/treatment-tests-and-therapies/how-to-help-someone-with-anxiety.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am almost 20, and I do not have a driver’s license or permit yet. I am from New York City. It is illegal to drive in the city until you are 18, so I did not see the point in getting a permit that I was not going to be able to use. Now that I am in college, all of my friends have cars, and I cannot get around on public transportation like I am used to at home. Going away to school made me realize the importance of being able to drive. It would save me a lot of time and money on ride share services.

I am trying to get my license before I go back to school, but with such a busy summer, I am not sure that it is possible. When my friends and I were staying in the dorms at school, we did not need cars that often, but now that we will live in apartments relatively far from each other and our classes, I feel like a weak link in not being able to drive when all of my friends have had cars for three to four years. Do you think that I should rush to get my license or take my time in learning everything so that I avoid future accidents? -- Non-Driver

DEAR NON-DRIVER: If driving is important enough to you, you will make it a priority. You are already seeing that your needs change depending on where you live. Some New Yorkers never learn to drive because it isn’t necessary. If you currently live in a town that requires driving, equip yourself. Interrupt your fun to prepare for your future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going to tons of parties on the weekends, sometimes with the same people. After a while, I have come to realize that most of us are telling the same stories over and over again. It’s either bragging about our children, complaining about our spouses or talking about how expensive our lives are. I’m sure there has to be something else to talk about. How can I encourage the group to switch up the conversation a bit? I like these people, but I’m bored by the discussion. -- One Note

DEAR ONE NOTE: This is why there are book clubs! Seriously, sometimes you have to introduce new ideas so that people can change the narrative. On one hand, you enjoy being together. On the other, it can start to feel like deja vu. Consider starting a book club where you and your friends read something and chat about it.

The same goes for choosing new adventures that you do with a group or by yourself. You can then come together and report about your new discoveries. For example, you can go to wine tastings at local vineyards or visit art openings where you get to meet the artist. Research happenings in your area and venture out to do some of those things. This will give you fresh stories to share with your friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife dresses very sexily. She often wears sheer clothing that reveals the curves of her body. I like it, but I have noticed that some people in our friend group do not. What’s weird is that the very people I see saying things about her behind her back will wear similar clothing. The main difference is that my wife is a curvy woman, and these other women are bone thin. They seem to think that it’s OK to wear sexy clothes as a size 6, but it's not for my wife, who is a size 14. I don’t think that’s fair. By the way, my wife isn’t wearing sexy clothes to church or anything. It’s when we go out socially. How can I support her and get others to stop whispering about her? -- Supporting My Wife

DEAR SUPPORTING MY WIFE: The body positivity movement has helped somewhat in this regard. Between celebrities such as Lizzo and fashion companies regularly extending their sizes to fit women beyond a 14, images of women with curvy bodies are far more prevalent today than in the recent past. Hopefully, this helps your wife know that she isn’t alone.

Without seeing her outfits, I can’t give you an informed opinion, but I will say that your wife should live her life and wear what she wants to wear. She should also be mindful to ensure that her looks are tasteful and appropriate for her body. While her size 14 curves are wonderful, many outfits do look different on different bodies. Not every look works for every shape.

How can you deal with the whispering? Ignore it. There will always be someone with an opinion. As long as you and your wife believe her look is appropriate for the moment, go forth and enjoy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got married to my current husband about 10 years ago. Before that, I had two children with my now-ex-husband. My current husband has really stepped up this past decade and become like a true father to my children. However, as my second daughter has entered her teenage years, my husband has started to complain about her attitude and even started calling her derogatory names. Not only has he complained to me, but he has also started talking about her to my extended family, and I am mortified. A tactic he has resorted to is avoiding her at all costs; we have a second property by the lake that he will visit for days at a time without the rest of us. What steps can I take to help bring their relationship back to the way it once was? -- Need a Resolution

DEAR NEED A RESOLUTION: When children become teenagers, their hormones are raging, and sometimes their behavior changes dramatically. What are you noticing about your daughter? Does she, in fact, have an attitude these days? Is she moody? Short-tempered? How would you describe her behavior? Notice specifically how she speaks to and interacts with your husband. Do the same as you observe him. How is he behaving? To navigate this, you want to have a clear view from your perspective.

Sit down with your husband. Tell him what you have observed and how it makes you feel -- namely, that he seems to be avoiding your daughter and talking negatively about her to others, and it’s upsetting and embarrassing you. Ask him not to withdraw but instead to help you with her as he always has. Point out that when a girl steps into the teenage years, it can be challenging for the whole family. Encourage him not to retreat but instead to stay actively present and to help guide your daughter with loving care, not judgment.

Talk to your daughter. Find out her thoughts. She likely has a completely different view of the situation. Help her learn how to sort through her emotions while being respectful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am graduating from high school next year, and I’m starting to look for colleges. I feel as if I don’t have control over where I will attend college because my dad keeps pushing me to apply for Ivy League schools such as Dartmouth and Harvard. He has even flown me out to look at both of them. I don’t feel as if I can make it into an Ivy League university, and I don’t want to go too far away from my home state of Minnesota. I would rather attend a state school in the Midwest because they still offer a great education and are much more affordable due to in-state tuition and reciprocity. How do I tell my dad that I don’t want to attend a school so far away from home? I don’t want to disappoint him. -- Choosing College

DEAR CHOOSING COLLEGE: Your father is encouraging you to think big. There’s nothing wrong with that. While you shouldn’t be forced into applying to certain colleges, please do not give up before you try. If you get into one of those prestigious schools, you might be offered a scholarship, so money would no longer be an concern. My recommendation is that you apply to a range of schools. The Ivies can be your reach schools. Pick some safety schools like those in the Midwest and a third group that are a better fit for your chosen career path. Then see where you are accepted and how much each school will cost. There's no need to nix the Ivies now. Just see what happens.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)