DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was in my late 20s, I decided to move to Japan to teach English. I met a man there, and we got married and had two beautiful daughters. Soon after my second daughter was born, we decided to get a divorce because our relationship wasn’t working anymore. I moved back to the U.S., and I was able to find a job and get back on my feet as a newly single woman with a toddler and an infant.

About a decade has passed, and my ex-husband has not been interested in staying in contact with his daughters. We have tried to set up calls, and he usually doesn’t answer. His mother has done a much better job of keeping in touch and has even visited us a few times. She recently made the offer for us to visit Tokyo and see her and my children’s dad. I am nervous to say yes because my ex-husband hasn’t been the most receptive throughout my children’s life. I don’t know how he is going to treat my kids. Do you think that it is a good idea to take them back to Japan to see their father? -- Reunion

DEAR REUNION: You have to talk to your children’s father directly and find out if he is up for this trip and willing to make a focused effort to see his children and spend time with them. It is nice that his mother is making the effort to get the family together, but it would be awful for you to travel all that way and get your children’s hopes up only to have their dad be MIA. Thank his mother profusely for her suggestion and ask her to help facilitate conversations between you and your ex to sort through the plan. Only when you feel confident that he will do his part to ensure that the visit is a success should you and your children get on that plane.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am busy during the week with work, and I often do not have long enough breaks to get outside throughout my workday. I try to move as much as I can on the weekends, but I feel like it is not enough because I am mainly sitting all day and eating takeout for the other five days. I am beginning to feel out of shape, and that is the last thing I want for the summertime. I am also trying to limit how much money I spend on activities on the weekend, and it is not that safe to walk around in my neighborhood at night. Do you have any recommendations as to how I can find some time to get active? Have you heard of any practices to do throughout the day to stay fit? -- Fitness and Work

DEAR FITNESS AND WORK: Start your day a bit earlier. Get up and go outside. Take a walk or a run. Be disciplined about getting some form of daily exercise. If possible, stand at your desk sometimes so that you are not sitting all day. As hard as it may be at first, try to cook a couple of times a week. That will save you money and ensure that you are eating healthy. Inside your house, you can do short series of stretches, situps and other exercises to keep your blood flowing all day. For ideas on that, go to: healthline.com/health/fitness/office-exercises#exercises-while-standing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am supposed to reconnect with a friend I have not seen in about a year. During the pandemic, we became close, and she was one of the only people I went out to see. Then she started dating someone and began to change as their relationship progressed. They basically live together and spend the majority of their time by each other’s sides, and I feel like we have lost a lot of our friendship as a result. I am excited to see her and catch up, but I am apprehensive about how things are going to feel between us.

I have never met her boyfriend even though they have been dating for years. It’s weird to me that one of my best friends, whom I already do not see often, has an entire life that I know nothing of. Should I bring up to her that I feel like we have gotten distant? How should I approach that conversation without making her feel guilty or as if I am berating her for spending time with her boyfriend? -- Boyfriend Takeover

DEAR BOYFRIEND TAKEOVER: Chances are, your friend is aware of the fact that the two of you have grown apart. She knows you haven’t talked or seen each other much. She may have less longing for your bond since she has been consumed by her boyfriend, though. Rather than point out something you don’t want to discuss, do your best to focus on rebuilding your friendship. Go into the get-together with the intention of catching up and enjoying your friend's company. You can tell her you would like to meet her boyfriend as you learn about her life with him. Mostly, be in the present. It may turn out that you pick up where you left off and everything feels right. If so, see where things go and find a new rhythm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I had to move out of my family home suddenly. I was fortunate enough to have a friend offer to help me move. He was so sweet and did almost everything for me, for which I am incredibly grateful. However, things took a turn for the worse when the moving van he was driving hit my car, causing nearly $4,000 in damage. Because I appreciate all that my friend did to help me, I can't help but wonder if it's wrong to ask him to pay the repair bill. What should I do? -- Can’t Afford It

DEAR CAN’T AFFORD IT: This is tricky, especially if he was driving a van that you rented. Hopefully, you purchased insurance when you rented the vehicle, and he was driving it legally. Find out if that insurance will cover the cost of the damage. You can also confess to your friend that you cannot afford to pay for the repairs to your vehicle and ask for his support, but your best bet is to go the insurance route.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is still treating me as if I am a child, even though I am 23 years old. I understand 23 is still young, but I have moved out of the house and am paying all my own bills. She still feels as if she needs to have control over me. I am switching jobs soon and need to drive halfway across the country. I want to make the drive alone because I need room in the car for my possessions. I also want to do the drive on my time and not have to worry about another person's needs.

My mom keeps asking me to take someone, but I just don’t feel as if it is necessary. I have everything planned out perfectly. I am going to drive halfway, stop and stay at a hotel, and then make the rest of the drive in the morning. I am a good driver and am always careful to be aware of my surroundings, so I feel confident that I can do this on my own. How do I make my mom trust me more? -- Building Trust

DEAR BUILDING TRUST: First, know that your mother is not wrong in thinking that it could be helpful and pleasant to share the big drive with someone else. Her suggestion is not equivalent to treating you like a child. It is wise counsel.

At this stage in your life, it is time to evaluate emerging situations as neutrally as possible. What are the pros and cons of the choices before you? What do you think? What advice is your mother giving you? What wisdom comes from others? Ultimately, you will have to decide on your own what makes sense for you and take action based on that decision. With your mother, it will be helpful to let her know that you respect her and her opinion and that sometimes you may make a different decision based on all that you know and care about. As you make more decisions on your own and learn from them, you can share your successes and failures with your mother so that she can see how you are navigating your life. As she sees the impact of your choices, you create the space for her to trust you more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter’s husband has not had a job for quite some time, and my daughter keeps making excuses for him. I worry that she is enabling his behavior and that he may not be motivated to find work if he thinks he doesn't need to. I am unsure of how to address this with my daughter without straining our relationship. I want to support her, but I also want to make sure she and her husband are financially stable. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- Get a Job

DEAR GET A JOB: Step back and let them work through this situation. Obviously, they are not financially stable if he is out of work. Most families need two incomes to be stable in this economic environment. Breathing down her neck about his situation is not going to make it easier for the two of them to figure things out. Give them space to adjust to reality and find a way forward. Hopefully he will find a job soon, and they will begin to rebuild. Unless she brings her dilemma to you directly or seems in peril of losing her home, stand down. Let them figure it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)