DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is still treating me as if I am a child, even though I am 23 years old. I understand 23 is still young, but I have moved out of the house and am paying all my own bills. She still feels as if she needs to have control over me. I am switching jobs soon and need to drive halfway across the country. I want to make the drive alone because I need room in the car for my possessions. I also want to do the drive on my time and not have to worry about another person's needs.

My mom keeps asking me to take someone, but I just don’t feel as if it is necessary. I have everything planned out perfectly. I am going to drive halfway, stop and stay at a hotel, and then make the rest of the drive in the morning. I am a good driver and am always careful to be aware of my surroundings, so I feel confident that I can do this on my own. How do I make my mom trust me more? -- Building Trust

DEAR BUILDING TRUST: First, know that your mother is not wrong in thinking that it could be helpful and pleasant to share the big drive with someone else. Her suggestion is not equivalent to treating you like a child. It is wise counsel.

At this stage in your life, it is time to evaluate emerging situations as neutrally as possible. What are the pros and cons of the choices before you? What do you think? What advice is your mother giving you? What wisdom comes from others? Ultimately, you will have to decide on your own what makes sense for you and take action based on that decision. With your mother, it will be helpful to let her know that you respect her and her opinion and that sometimes you may make a different decision based on all that you know and care about. As you make more decisions on your own and learn from them, you can share your successes and failures with your mother so that she can see how you are navigating your life. As she sees the impact of your choices, you create the space for her to trust you more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter’s husband has not had a job for quite some time, and my daughter keeps making excuses for him. I worry that she is enabling his behavior and that he may not be motivated to find work if he thinks he doesn't need to. I am unsure of how to address this with my daughter without straining our relationship. I want to support her, but I also want to make sure she and her husband are financially stable. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- Get a Job

DEAR GET A JOB: Step back and let them work through this situation. Obviously, they are not financially stable if he is out of work. Most families need two incomes to be stable in this economic environment. Breathing down her neck about his situation is not going to make it easier for the two of them to figure things out. Give them space to adjust to reality and find a way forward. Hopefully he will find a job soon, and they will begin to rebuild. Unless she brings her dilemma to you directly or seems in peril of losing her home, stand down. Let them figure it out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved to America from Ethiopia when I was 8 years old; I have lived here with my grandparents ever since. My parents and brothers still reside in Ethiopia, as do some of my other aunts and uncles. I am now a sophomore in college, which is only made possible by a full-ride scholarship. I also have a job because I need to be able to make money to buy groceries, toiletries and other necessities.

I have enough to support myself, but there isn’t much left. Regardless, my mom often calls, asking me for hundreds of dollars at a time -- and it's not just her. My aunt makes these requests as well. I can’t consistently keep doing this because I won’t be able to take care of myself. The other day, I emptied my bank account completely in order to send my mom money. I can’t continue to live this way. How do I tell my mom and other extended family members that I won’t be able to send money to them anymore? -- Overextended

DEAR OVEREXTENDED: In many countries, there is a misperception that people who live in America are rich. This is especially true for immigrants' family members back home. Because the dollar is generally worth far more than their home currency, it seems as if the American relative is wealthy. Those who have never been here have no idea how expensive it is to live in the United States. That reality may be hard to explain.

What you can do is manage expectations better. Rather than cutting off your family entirely, which might be devastating to them on many fronts, be strategic about it. Create a budget, and let your mother know how much you can give her each month based on that budget. Even if the amount seems small, let her know what it is and send that. She may complain at first, and others may reach out for money as well. If you remain clear and steadfast with the stated amount, eventually they will realize you are being serious.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a producer for a major multimedia company, and I'm currently in a tricky situation. My team and I were tasked with producing a special event that features several high-profile celebrities, but one of our guests isn't up to par with the others. The guest is a friend of one of my co-producers, so he was able to finesse his way onto the show. I don’t think my co-producer should be allowed to tarnish the quality of our show just to give her friend a job opportunity. How should I approach this situation without causing any major conflicts? I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation gracefully and professionally. -- Producer Problems

DEAR PRODUCER PROBLEMS: Arm yourself with specific examples of why you think this person is not appropriate for the show. Speak confidentially with the other producers to see if they share your view. If so, invite the producer in question to have a private conversation with the group. Together, state your case and suggest that this person be removed from the show. Sure, this may ruffle feathers, but if you keep it private, no one has to lose face.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started talking to a guy I met on a dating website. He seems really sweet, and we’ve had great conversations. He lives one town over from me; I don't have a car, but he does. When we discussed meeting up, he suggested that I take the bus to his city. While I appreciate his eagerness to meet, I can't help but feel a little insulted that he would suggest I take public transportation instead of just offering to drive over to me. Is this a red flag, or am I overthinking it? -- Insulted

DEAR INSULTED: Speak up. It makes perfect sense that you would appreciate this man either coming to pick you up or meeting you in your town. If that’s what you want, say so. See how he responds. Yes, you can consider his suggestion a red flag -- but not necessarily a deal breaker. Who knows what his past experiences have been to make him think it was a good idea? I’m amazed at how many people do not demonstrate basic manners. Rather than being upset with him, tell him what you want. If he willingly complies, move on to the next experience. Notice how he behaves, how he treats you and what his values are. Definitely bring your own money. A man who doesn’t think to pick you up probably isn’t thinking he should pay for your meal.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student, and I go to school out of town. I got my first and second tattoos in the past couple of weeks before I came home for the summer. My parents have been pretty against the idea of me getting any since I started drawing on myself with markers in elementary school. They can appreciate the art form on other people but are generally opposed to the idea on me. I always liked tattoos, and I have planned out several that I want to get over the years, but I am not sure how to introduce the idea to them or start a conversation about the ones I already have. How should I approach that conversation without sounding too harsh about their stance on tattoos and about my plans for more in the future? -- Parents Vs. Tattoos

DEAR PARENTS VS. TATTOOS: Do you understand your parents’ position about tattoos, and have you taken their thinking into consideration at all? For example, are you placing your tattoos strategically so that you can cover them in case a potential employer frowns on them? Chances are, your parents’ apprehension has to do with the big picture. Tattoos are so common now that everyone from business executives to schoolteachers sport them. Still, you want to keep your options open for however your life unfolds.

You can tell your parents that while you understand their perspective, you decided you wanted tattoos anyway, and you have gotten two. You can explain you are showing them out of respect, so that they know. Acknowledge that you know they don’t approve, but you wanted to tell them to be sure that they learned it from you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)