DEAR HARRIETTE: I am taking summer classes and working this summer to advance my studies and make some money. While I am proud of myself for using my time in ways that will benefit me in the future, I feel a bit left out from my friends. Most of them do not have any obligations this summer except for having fun, so they hang out constantly. They invite me to meet up, but often I have conflicting obligations or am just too tired to go out after a full day of school and work. I have a big fear of missing out, and I am worried that I might fall behind on my responsibilities so I can spend time with my friends. Do you have any tips for time management or communication with my friends as to why I cannot see them? I do not want them to think I am blowing them off or that they should stop inviting me. What should I do? -- Work School Friends

DEAR WORK SCHOOL FRIENDS: Welcome to the real world. You are facing exactly what adults face every day, trying to strike a balance between work, life responsibilities and fun. It is never easy, but it is necessary. Congratulations on taking on extra classes and work. This is excellent for your future, as you described.

To avoid FOMO (to the best of your ability), let your friends know what days and times you are free. Since they are fluid in their scheduling, you might have to remind them. Don’t feel hurt if they don’t remember, and don’t get despondent. Just keep chiming in when you have time to be with them. Make sure you have carved out enough time to care for yourself and tend to your duties. You will also have to accept that you will never be able to do everything that others do, and that’s all right. You will not be missing out on what your own future has in store for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a few months now, and I have noticed that she has a habit of gossiping about her own friends to her other friends. This behavior has been bothering me and makes me feel uneasy. I cannot help but feel that it is wrong and disrespectful to her friends. I understand that gossip is common, but I believe that sharing information about others without their consent is not ethical. I am worried that if she can do this to her friends, she could do it to me as well. How can I talk to her about this in a way that will not cause a rift in our relationship? -- Stop Gossiping

DEAR STOP GOSSIPING: What you are witnessing is who she is. As Maya Angelou so astutely advised, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. You have to decide if you want to be with someone who eventually will start talking about you. Gossips gossip -- about everyone. You can talk to her about it if you want, but what will likely happen is she will just gossip outside your earshot.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a good relationship with their parents -- they haven’t spoken in four years. I have noticed that when I speak to my parents, it creates a weird mood between my partner and me. The other day, my mother called to check in on me -- which is normal for her since I just moved away from home -- and my partner made a comment about my mother being overly concerned. They even went as far as to ask if I find it annoying when my parents check in on me. This caught me off guard because I don’t see why I would ever be annoyed by my parents wanting to ensure my safety. Could this be a huge problem for us later on? -- Projecting

DEAR PROJECTING: Yes, it could be a problem in the future. Before you dump your partner, though, start talking to them about your life as you learn about theirs. Share stories of how you grew up and how you and your parents have interacted over the years. Recall incidents of conflict and how you resolved it. Let your partner get a window into your world so they can see what you value and appreciate about your parents.

Be mindful not to brag about your experience. Since theirs is very different, you want to be sensitive to their story. Ask them to tell you the same things, about how they interacted with their parents and how they dealt with conflict. Be sure to ask about good times. Even if their lives together have been rocky, there are bound to be some pleasant memories.

You may have to agree that your interaction with your parents is different, and that’s OK. Ask them to respect what you have as you do the same.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who did not start drinking until recently. She has no idea what her limits are and often exceeds them, leaving me and my other friends to take care of her at the end of the night. I try to suggest to her to slow down or stop drinking at a certain point, but she gets defensive with me and says that she just wants to have fun like everybody else. The issue is that when she gets too drunk, none of us have fun because we are worried about her, and she doesn't realize that. I do not want to make her feel bad, but I want her to be safe, and I want to be able to enjoy a night out if I am with her. How should I approach talking to her about her drinking habits in a way that does not seem combative? If she does not receive my advice well, should I just stop going out with her? -- Drunk Friend

DEAR DRUNK FRIEND: Talk to her when she is sober. Describe to her the most recent drunk incident in detail. Recount how things devolved and how you were forced to become her caretaker. Tell her frankly that you aren’t willing to take on that role anymore. Suggest that she either stop drinking entirely or heed your warning when you recommend that she stop. If she refuses to listen, stop inviting her to go out with you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend, who is significantly heavier than me, keeps insisting that we're the same size. I don’t think she means to offend me, but she’s a very large person, and she probably has more than 50 pounds on me. I don't mind that she's heavier, but what bothers me is that she keeps trying to wear my clothes and acts surprised when they don't fit her.

I'm not sure how to approach her about this without coming across as insensitive or rude. I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel bad about her body, but at the same time, I don't want her to keep insisting that we're the same size and trying to wear my clothes. What should I do? -- Offended

DEAR OFFENDED: Do not take your friend’s inability to see herself accurately as a personal affront. It is not. This is all about her. Who knows why? Perhaps she used to be smaller and hasn’t come to terms with her new size. Perhaps she doesn’t have a sense of size at all and really does think you two are the same. Whatever her reasons are, they are not about you.

Still, you certainly should recalibrate the situation. Tell her that you appreciate that she likes your style and you are happy to direct her to places that might have the perfect outfit for her, but your clothes don’t work. Point out that you both look great, but your bodies are different, and you don’t wear the same size. Recommend that she go to a shop and get fitted by a professional so that she can know her right size and buy accordingly. Just say no the next time she asks to borrow an outfit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got out of a relationship that ended on a bad note. I found out that my boyfriend of a year had been cheating on me and lying about it. He often would get mad at me over little things and make me feel like a bad girlfriend. He never posted any photos of us on any of his social media accounts, and that made me feel like he was hiding our relationship. It has been a month since we broke up, and he has already posted a new girl -- someone he is now dating. Our friends keep telling me that it is not my fault that he was not good to me, but I cannot help but feel a bit unworthy. What can I do to move on from him? How can I trust someone else in the future? -- Bad Relationship

DEAR BAD RELATIONSHIP: Your friends are right. He wasn’t good to you. Of course that hurts.

First, you must pivot. Stop analyzing what went wrong. Let him go and focus on what you believe you would appreciate in a relationship. What are your values? How do you want to be treated? What makes you happy? Make a list. Literally write those things down so you can remind yourself when you meet someone new.

As you get to know someone, pay attention to see if he matches up with you in key areas. You don’t have to be perfectly suited in everything, but you do deserve to be with someone who will treat you with kindness and respect.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)