DEAR HARRIETTE: I fear that I’m losing my friends who have completely different goals than me. A few of my friends have already gotten married and are well on their way to becoming stay-at-home wives and mothers. I have always envisioned myself traveling the world and focusing on my career instead of settling down and having kids with someone.
I find it difficult to connect with these friends now because our priorities and interests are different. Whenever they bring up the topic of children or their significant others, I feel left out of the conversation, and it hurts. Could we be growing apart? -- Growing Apart
DEAR GROWING APART: Part of building your life and making choices includes growing into your interests and sometimes growing away from those of your friends. Sometimes your relationships can survive the differences, and sometimes not. Just because you are choosing not to have a family -- at least right now -- does not mean you have to separate from close friends. You could become godmother or auntie to your friends’ children, swooping in and out as your schedule allows.
I recently spoke to a friend who has remained close to her friend group from college. She just went to six graduation events for her friends’ children. She is the only one who is unmarried, an entrepreneur and a globetrotter. She figured out how to have her independent life and stay close to the families that her friends built.
You can do the same. Determine who you want to keep in your life, and craft a way to do so as you also make space for whoever is to come next.