DEAR HARRIETTE: I fear that I’m losing my friends who have completely different goals than me. A few of my friends have already gotten married and are well on their way to becoming stay-at-home wives and mothers. I have always envisioned myself traveling the world and focusing on my career instead of settling down and having kids with someone.

I find it difficult to connect with these friends now because our priorities and interests are different. Whenever they bring up the topic of children or their significant others, I feel left out of the conversation, and it hurts. Could we be growing apart? -- Growing Apart

DEAR GROWING APART: Part of building your life and making choices includes growing into your interests and sometimes growing away from those of your friends. Sometimes your relationships can survive the differences, and sometimes not. Just because you are choosing not to have a family -- at least right now -- does not mean you have to separate from close friends. You could become godmother or auntie to your friends’ children, swooping in and out as your schedule allows.

I recently spoke to a friend who has remained close to her friend group from college. She just went to six graduation events for her friends’ children. She is the only one who is unmarried, an entrepreneur and a globetrotter. She figured out how to have her independent life and stay close to the families that her friends built.

You can do the same. Determine who you want to keep in your life, and craft a way to do so as you also make space for whoever is to come next.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you think that I should’ve gone to a university out of state? I am going into my junior year at a state school in the Midwest, which is where I’ve lived all my life. I got really good financial aid, and it’s conveniently close to my home, which also reduces travel costs, but I feel like going to school in a state where there is more diversity would benefit my mental health and social well-being.

There are a lot of microaggressions and macroaggressions I have to deal with on campus as a Black woman. For example, whenever there is group work, my ideas usually don’t get taken seriously until a white student rephrases it and claims it as their own.

Do you think sticking it out for four years is worth it, or should I have gone to a different school with more diversity where I would’ve probably had to take out loans to attend? -- Second Thoughts

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Sadly, microaggressions and macroaggressions do not end after college or whenever you leave the Midwest. In our culture, they are a part of life. It is important to learn to face them and stand up for yourself and make choices that give you the space to blossom into your full self. I don’t think that means you should take on more debt as you complete this leg of your education.

Find out if you can do a semester swap at a different college or even study abroad to get exposure to other points of view. Look for organizations and clubs within your school where you can shine. Consider joining the Black Student Union or Student Government to develop your voice.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved out of my dorm last year with three weeks left in the semester. I had a randomly assigned roommate, and our relationship started off well. As the year progressed, she started to bring her two friends into our room every day. If they had left at a decent time, I would’ve been OK with this as I wasn’t in the room very much; however, they were often in our room until at least midnight. I would then awkwardly have to ask them to leave, which would cause a lot of tension in the air.

Whenever I had people in the room, my roommate would get irritated and ask for them to leave. It seemed as if she was asking me for a courtesy that she never gave me in return. This was the final straw to me, and I put in the request to move. How could I have communicated with her better in order to avoid letting the situation escalate to me moving out? Do you think this was the right choice? -- Roommate Drama

DEAR ROOMMATE DRAMA: Learning to live with others and respect boundaries is one of the most difficult tasks in life. When you are in school -- and even afterward if you have a roommate as you start your independent life -- you need to establish house rules, boundaries and intentions to ensure that everyone is in alignment. Even then, you will have to reinforce them time and again.

In your situation, it sounds like your roommate bullied you out of your home. That is not OK. I understand why you felt you had to leave, but you also could have lodged a formal complaint with your school about her and asked them to reprimand or move her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, a close friend of mine came to visit my city, and she complained the entire time. It was a difficult experience, and I'm unsure of how to proceed in our relationship. To give you a little background, my friend had always wanted to visit my city and experience its unique culture. However, once she arrived, she was quick to complain about everything. She hated the food, the weather and the crowds. Her complaints became so frequent that it made it challenging for me to enjoy spending time with her. While I tried to offer suggestions to help improve her experience, she still couldn't seem to enjoy anything.

Do you have any advice on how to approach my friend and talk to her about her behavior? I would love to continue our friendship, but her constant complaining really made me view her in a different light. -- Stop Complaining

DEAR STOP COMPLAINING: Tell your friend you want to have a debrief call with her about her visit. Ask her what she thought about it. Listen carefully and let her complete her thoughts. Then tell her how you felt, particularly about her constant complaining. Express your disappointment and frustration. See how she responds.

You can forgive her, but you may think twice about inviting her to visit again -- at least anytime soon.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dealing with a situation where my parents constantly tell family members about my personal life without my consent. This has caused me a lot of distress as I feel like my privacy is being violated. It's frustrating to think that I have no control over what personal information my family members know about me. My parents seem to believe that it's their right to disclose this information, but I strongly disagree.

I value my privacy and would prefer to have control over who knows about my personal life. I've tried talking to my parents about this issue, but they don't seem to understand how their behavior is affecting me. They say it's not a big deal and I shouldn't be so concerned about what others know. I believe that everyone has a right to their own privacy and that it's not up to others to decide what information should be shared.

I'm at a loss for what to do. My parents aren't taking my concerns seriously, and I don't know how to make them understand how important this is to me. Should I keep my parents out of my personal business, too? -- Chatty Parents

DEAR CHATTY PARENTS: In a word: yes. At least for now, your parents cannot be trusted with knowing your personal information. They have told you as much and shrugged off your concerns. So it’s time for you to draw the line. Stop telling them your business. Hopefully, in time, they will notice and ask to be welcomed back into your covenant of confidentiality. They have to earn their way back.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This January, I went to Ghana for the first time. I am half-Ghanaian, and I have family there, including my grandparents, who my dad and I stayed with. I loved visiting there to see a part of my identity, but I had a rough time adjusting. My dad grew up there for a period of his childhood, but he never told me much about his experience or what to expect. As a result, I was unprepared.

I didn’t have the correct clothes; I was wearing shorts and a tank top while everyone else was in more conservative clothes to protect themselves from bugs and the sun. I didn’t know how to properly interact with adults or elders because their English dialect is very different, as are their customs. Lastly, I wasn’t prepared for the shift in bacteria in the food, and I got very sick for half of my stay.

I feel resentment at my dad for not telling me more about what to expect. Should I be mad at my dad for not telling me more about his country, or should I be mad at myself for not doing my own research? -- Bad Trip

DEAR BAD TRIP: Write a note to your family members in Ghana thanking them again for sharing their beloved country with you. Apologize for not knowing some of the customs, including how to dress properly. Let them know that you hope your ignorance did not offend them. You may want to tell them you hope you can return soon to get to know them and their country better.

Talk to your dad and tell him that you felt uncomfortable because you were unprepared. Forgive him for not fulfilling his role in preparing you, and forgive yourself for not figuring it out in advance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)