DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a friend over for dinner who brought along a friend of their own. While I was in the kitchen preparing food, the friend of a friend had free range of the house. After they left, I realized that a valuable item was missing, and I can't shake the feeling that it was this friend of a friend who took it. The problem is I have no concrete proof. I don't want to falsely accuse someone or cause unnecessary drama in my friend group, but I can't stop thinking about it. I've been trying to put it out of my mind, but every time I think about it, I feel violated and uneasy. What should I do? Should I confront the friend of a friend? Should I let it go and chalk it up to bad luck? -- Gut Feeling
DEAR GUT FEELING: I think you should speak to the friend who brought this person into your home. Explain what happened and that you cannot prove anything, but you suspect that their friend stole from you. Point out that someone at the gathering took the item. You know that because it was there before guests arrived and not the next morning. Ask your friend if they can vouch for this person’s honesty. Inquire as to what they recommend you do. For example, ask their opinion about whether you should mention it to the person, or should they? Or do you leave it alone because you have no proof?
Clearly, this is a violation of trust. When you invite people into your home, you never imagine that a guest would steal from you. Acknowledge that this is an awkward conversation, but you feel violated and thought they should know.