DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a nephew who is getting married, and he is so happy. He came to me recently to ask for wisdom about marriage, and I fumbled and eventually told him I would think about it and get back to him. I have been married for a long time -- more than 20 years -- but if I am honest, I cannot say that it is a happy marriage. Sure, we have good times, but we argue a lot and pretty fiercely. I didn’t want to talk about that stuff, but I really am at a loss for words. I think the main reason we are still together is that we never left each other. We fight, then we keep moving. So far, nothing has been so bad that either of us has walked away. That doesn’t sound romantic at all. What do I say to someone who is about to start a life with his wife? -- The Secret
DEAR THE SECRET: Tell your nephew your truth. Admit that it isn’t always easy to be married because you and your spouse argue a lot. Share that you don’t always agree on things, which can ignite an argument. But, in the end, you two seem to accept each other for who you are. That has been your secret to staying together. You might add anything that you wish for him in his marriage that includes what you wish for yourself -- for example, more listening and less arguing.