DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I used to go to school with contacted me the other day and asked if I could help her secure a job at the company I work for. While normally I would be more than happy to help a former classmate, this woman was not particularly nice to me during our time in school. I can't help but feel hesitant about using my professional connections to assist someone who did not treat me kindly in the past. However, I also heard through the grapevine that this woman is currently going through a divorce. I don't know any of the details surrounding her situation, but I do know how difficult it can be to navigate the job market during tough times. I feel a pang of empathy for someone who might be struggling. What would you recommend I do in this situation? -- Former Classmate

DEAR FORMER CLASSMATE: It is fine to have empathy, but don’t forget the past. Find out if you can meet up with this woman to talk to her, either in person or on a video chat. It would be great to see her face when you talk. Ask her about her life. See what she chooses to divulge. Find out her qualifications. If you are to connect her with your employer, you want to make sure that she is a viable candidate. Your reputation will be on the line when you make that connection.

But before connecting her, bring up the elephant in the room. Remind her that when you knew each other in school, she was unkind to you. Tell her you are surprised that she would reach out, but since she has, you think this past behavior needs to be addressed before you move forward. Make her accountable for her actions. How she responds to all of it should determine whether you open the door for her potential entry into your company.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine owns a beauty brand and has yet to develop makeup colors that would suit people with darker skin tones. My friend wants me to support and promote her brand, but as a woman of color, her brand does not cater to my needs. I cannot fully partake in what her beauty brand offers. I feel torn because on one hand, I want to support my friend's business, but on the other hand, I cannot use her makeup, which simply does not suit my skin tone. Furthermore, I am hesitant to recommend the brand to my friends and colleagues due to the lack of shade options. What advice can you offer me on how to communicate this with my friend? How can I politely explain my perspective without damaging our relationship? -- Be Inclusive

BE INCLUSIVE: The best gift you have to offer her is your candor. Tell your friend that you are proud of her for starting this makeup brand but that you see a glaring omission -- a lack of diversity of shades. Point out that we live in an era of inclusivity, which makes it especially noticeable that her line is not representative of darker skin tones, including your own. Tell her what you told me: You would love to support her, but you cannot wear her makeup because she didn’t make a shade for you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found out that my boyfriend has been googling breakup-related questions such as, "how do you know when it is time to break up?" and "how do you know if you are happy in your relationship?" He doesn't know that I saw his search history.

I am absolutely dumbfounded and confused by this discovery. We've been in a loving relationship for quite some time now, and I've never had any inkling that there were any problems. I am hurt that he didn't communicate his doubts with me, especially when I thought we were completely fine and happy. What should I do? Do I confront him and risk ruining our relationship, or do I keep my suspicions to myself and pretend nothing ever happened? -- Worried Girlfriend

DEAR WORRIED GIRLFRIEND: I would put everything on the table. Tell your boyfriend you want to talk to him. Admit that you stumbled upon his breakup search. While you were not meaning to snoop, you saw it and wanted to address it rather than pretend like you didn’t see it. Ask him if he wants to break up with you, and if so, why. Give him space to talk. He will likely be caught off guard, so it could take a bit for him to open up. Encourage him to tell you the truth, even if he thinks it will hurt your feelings. If he needs coaxing, ask him if you have done anything that bothers him, if he is unhappy with anything in particular in your relationship or if he has met someone else. Find out if he wants to make it work, or if he really is ready to walk. Take your cues for what’s next from how he responds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A little over a month ago, I decided to step away from social media. I deactivated all of my accounts. When I was using social media regularly, I had plenty of friends and followers who would interact with me often. Now that I'm off social media, it seems like all of those people have gone silent. I don't understand why none of these people are reaching out to me anymore, especially since they all have my number. It feels as though I no longer exist to them. I'm feeling really discouraged and lonely right now, and I'm not sure what steps to take next. Should I reach out to these individuals myself, or should I simply move on and focus on making new connections? -- Unplugging

DEAR UNPLUGGING: Now is the time to figure out who you want in your life and whether they want you back. Make a list of the people you care about the most. Then be conscious of making time for them. You should reach out to that short list of folks. See how they respond to you. It will not feel as immediate as social media, which you were able to engage at your leisure. Just watch your interactions. Those who make time for you as you make time for them are the keepers for now. That doesn’t mean that others won’t come around in due time.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend wants to get a Brazilian butt lift, better known as a BBL. It seems like everybody is doing it these days. I did some research and saw that it’s basically a form of liposuction. A lot of people get it, but it worries me. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with her body. More than that, it is actual surgery. My friend has a number of health issues. I just think it’s irresponsible for her to do elective surgery when there could be complications. She’s considering going out of the country to do it, too, so that it can be more affordable. How can I discourage her from a surgery that seems to be frivolous and dangerous? -- No BBL

DEAR NO BBL: You have a right to your opinion, and so does your friend. If she wants this surgery, it is her choice to get it -- or not. However, your concern about her health is legitimate, not just your personal opinion about whether the surgery is a wise aesthetic choice. Do encourage your friend to go to her doctor and get evaluated based on her health conditions to see if she is eligible for the surgery. She can be checked out stateside before she goes to another country for the procedure. Further, she should be sure that wherever she wants to do the surgery has a solid reputation. There are excellent facilities in other countries, but she would need to research them.

After that, leave her alone. Don’t guilt her about her choices. You can state your opinion once, but leave it at that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m worried that a freelance client I’m working with is going to go out of business. The writing is on the wall, so to speak. Indicators of success that this client has shared have NOT been met -- no matter what we do to improve. They describe it as running into headwinds. I don’t want to abandon them, but I am also worried about my future. I need this job in order to pay my bills. It is a lot of work, too, so it’s nearly impossible to look for something else while I’m doing it. I’m at my wit’s end. Do I carve out time to find a new job? Do I pray it will all work out? -- On the Edge

DEAR ON THE EDGE: You are in a precarious situation. Your loyalty is notable, as is the reality that you have to take care of yourself. If at all possible, save as much money as you can. The writing on the wall should be telling you that you may need to dip into your reserves soon. Definitely carve out time to look for something else. At the very least, put your feelers out there. Freshen your resume and get a sense of what options exist. That is not being disloyal. That is self-preservation. Take as many job interviews as you can. This will help you to hone your presentation skills and get a sense of your value in the market. If a solid opportunity presents itself, take it.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)