DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found out that my boyfriend has been googling breakup-related questions such as, "how do you know when it is time to break up?" and "how do you know if you are happy in your relationship?" He doesn't know that I saw his search history.
I am absolutely dumbfounded and confused by this discovery. We've been in a loving relationship for quite some time now, and I've never had any inkling that there were any problems. I am hurt that he didn't communicate his doubts with me, especially when I thought we were completely fine and happy. What should I do? Do I confront him and risk ruining our relationship, or do I keep my suspicions to myself and pretend nothing ever happened? -- Worried Girlfriend
DEAR WORRIED GIRLFRIEND: I would put everything on the table. Tell your boyfriend you want to talk to him. Admit that you stumbled upon his breakup search. While you were not meaning to snoop, you saw it and wanted to address it rather than pretend like you didn’t see it. Ask him if he wants to break up with you, and if so, why. Give him space to talk. He will likely be caught off guard, so it could take a bit for him to open up. Encourage him to tell you the truth, even if he thinks it will hurt your feelings. If he needs coaxing, ask him if you have done anything that bothers him, if he is unhappy with anything in particular in your relationship or if he has met someone else. Find out if he wants to make it work, or if he really is ready to walk. Take your cues for what’s next from how he responds.