DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm about to welcome a new baby into my family soon, and it's through adoption. I'm over the moon excited and ready for the challenge of being a new parent, but I'm also struggling with the difficult question of when to tell the child they're adopted. I understand that it's something they'll eventually find out and something I can't keep hidden forever, so when should I have that conversation? What would be the most appropriate age? It's something I take very seriously, and I don't want to give my child the wrong information at the wrong time. -- Expectant Parent

DEAR EXPECTANT PARENT: Congratulations on the next step in your new family. What a blessing it is to welcome a child into your life!

There are many opinions about how and when to tell your child that they are adopted, so I can’t give you a definitive answer. I can tell you the going wisdom. Educators believe that children have a growing sense of awareness of who they are and who others are in relation to them starting at about 4 or 5 years old. Many recommend talking about adoption at that time, when they are able to ask questions and you can provide simple answers. Others believe you start the moment you bring the child home.

One positive thing I have observed is parents who say that they had their child by choice. They chose this particular child to join their family at whatever time it was, and they are grateful for the choice that they made.

Whenever you begin this conversation, use simple language to talk about your relationship to your child. Leave complicated concepts for when they are much older. For more recommendations, go to: choosingtherapy.com/when-to-tell-a-child-they-are-adopted.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm having trouble staying connected with my friends and family while living abroad. It's not because I don't want to, but because I'm a terrible texter, and I dread talking on the phone. I would really appreciate any tips on how to make text conversations easier for me. Is there something I can do to help improve my messaging skills? -- Bad Texter

DEAR BAD TEXTER: Who said you have to send a lot of words? Use the novelty of where you are to support your communication. Your loved ones may never get a chance to visit where you are living, so show them through photos. As you explore your new home, take pictures. Send your loved ones texts with photos and short captions that describe where you are and what you are seeing. They will enjoy living vicariously through you, and you will always have something to say. Include yourself in some of the images so that they see you and feel connected.

You can ask them to send photos to you as well. Invite them to share what’s going on in their world, their children, their neighborhood, their activities -- really, anything you can think of! This way, it isn’t all about you. It’s a flow of communication. It may help you to be less homesick as well, in case you have those occasional moments.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a lovely party hosted by a prominent, successful couple. In the past, they have not wanted photos to be shared from their events, but this time they didn’t say anything. They even had a professional photographer there, and they allowed everyone to take pictures with their cameras and smartphones. Now that the event is over, I want to post pictures like I always do after I have enjoyed myself. But I’m not sure if it would be appropriate to do so. I don’t want to offend my friend or get uninvited because I broke an unwritten rule. What should I do? -- What Is Private?

DEAR WHAT IS PRIVATE?: Go to the source. Reach out to your friends and ask if it is OK for you to post pictures from the party. Don’t second-guess yourself. Be sure before you post anything from this private event. If they do not respond, do not post. This can be hard to honor during the age of instant posting on social media, but it is safer to keep these images private until you get confirmation.

I recently saw photos posted from a private wedding. I am certain that guests were asked NOT to post about this event. The person who did so skirted around the reason for the gathering but posted a number of images anyway. Of course, anyone who knows them even peripherally immediately knew what the event was and who was there. That was a violation of the agreement. Don’t do that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very busy with work and family stuff these days. An old friend asked me to have dinner with him probably six months ago. I said yes, but I haven’t been able to find time to do it. I want to see him, but my schedule is so packed, I don’t know when it can be. He feels like I am blowing him off, but really, I am not. I am simply overbooked. Do I tell him it’s not going to happen anytime soon? Do I offer to schedule a Zoom call to catch up? I don’t want to offend him, but I don’t see a window for getting together in the next few months. -- Balancing Time

DEAR BALANCING TIME: Start by asking your friend if you can hop on a call or a Zoom to connect. Tell him you miss him and want to touch base, but you don’t want to wait until you can be face-to-face to do so. Make your invitation short and sweet without making excuses. If he agrees to talk, use that time to check in with each other. Share what’s been going on in your life, and listen to what’s happening in his. Again, avoid overapologizing for the realities of your life. If he presses for when you can get together, admit that you don’t know. Between work and family, you are overbooked right now. That’s why you wanted to jump on this call, to make sure he knows you care about him and to let him know you don’t have a date in mind right now for an in-person get-together.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went out with a friend of mine. She had a few too many drinks. I asked her not to drive home and offered to call her an Uber, but she was adamant that she was fine to drive. Knowing that wasn't the case, I convinced her to let me order her some food in the hope that she would sober up a little bit, but she was still insistent on driving home.

The next day, she confessed to me that she had been, in fact, way too drunk to drive, and she felt terrible about it. It really got me thinking about my responsibility in this situation. I didn't want to be overbearing or aggressive, but at the same time, I felt that I needed to do something to prevent a dangerous situation. She was so insistent on driving, I guess I just got tired of arguing. Do you have any advice on how I should handle a similar situation in the future? -- Feeling Guilty

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: It can feel impossible to manage a situation like this when a friend is drunk and belligerent and absolutely insistent on doing something that is dangerous. You were right to stand your ground and at least get her some food. It probably would have been even better to require her to ride with you, get a taxi or otherwise not drive her car. Could you have demanded that? Perhaps, if you could have gotten possession of her keys, but it surely would have been a battle.

What you can do now is make an agreement with your friend. Talk about the future. Promise each other that if either of you is ever in danger -- due to intoxication or anything else -- you will have each other’s back. That means if your friend deems that you are drunk, you have to turn over your keys, even if you don’t agree. Similarly, if there’s some other threat of danger, you agree to trust the other person to make a smart decision if you are not thinking coherently.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been trying for several months now to get a meeting with a woman who was referred to me by a friend. She has had to reschedule three times already. I am beginning to lose confidence. I have a great idea to share with her, but I wonder if there is even a remote chance that she will listen, given that she has not made meeting me a priority at all. How can I keep up my enthusiasm when I don’t think she is interested? -- Need a Boost

DEAR NEED A BOOST: Hopefully you will get the meeting in question. Your job is to be ready. You need to wow this woman with who you are and what you have to offer so that when the meeting is over, she is clear about your value and how you can be effective for whatever she is doing. That means you have to prepare. What research is needed so that you are fully versed on her work? What do you need to do to connect the dots regarding how you fit into her needs? How can you talk about it so that your story is compelling and succinct? When the meeting happens, thank her for her time and go for it. What do you have to lose?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)