DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with someone who is enthusiastic but limited in her ability to do her job. Time and again, I find myself needing to explain things to her that seem elementary to me. She has been working for this company for a long time, and I know that she isn’t going anywhere. This isn’t a situation where I can relieve her of her duties and hire someone with better qualifications. Mostly, I bite my tongue and accept that things are the way they are. Recently, she asked me to work on a project with her, and I got to see her mediocre work up close; I lost it. We could be doing so much better. What can I do to improve matters when she isn’t going anywhere? -- Mediocre at Best

DEAR MEDIOCRE AT BEST: Look at this woman with compassion. It is not her fault that she is limited in her capabilities. It may also be true that she needs considerably more support in order for the company to do an excellent job. Look at her roles and responsibilities. What is she good at? Where does she need help? Who at your company has skills that can fortify her weaknesses? Can any responsibilities be divided up among those who can handle them better? Also, is there room in the budget to hire someone to do the work that she doesn’t do well? Get creative as you look for ways to support her rather than push her out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In my work, I constantly have to give advice to people about how to manage tough situations. I feel like such a fraud. In my personal life, things are falling apart. My finances are in ruin. My home is a wreck. My relationship sucks. Really, there’s nothing good to report. When I sit there on my high horse telling other people how to fix their lives, I see more and more how much of a loser I am. What can I do to turn my life around? -- Cry for Help

DEAR CRY FOR HELP: Have you heard the saying that it’s the shoemaker’s children who go without shoes? Very often, people who are experts at something that they offer outwardly aren’t good at it when it comes to their own lives. It would benefit you to seek out a therapist. Find someone you trust, and begin to work on you. Be open and honest about your strengths and shortcomings. You have to tell the truth, especially the uncomfortable parts, in order to get to the core of your issues. Take the time to talk through your stuff and learn tools that can help you manage your life better. Don’t try to fix everything at once. Go slowly. Create a plan and execute it. Be gentle with yourself. It took time for you to get into the predicament you are in. It will take time to turn it around.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling-out with a friend about a year ago, and we have hardly spoken since. One of my New Year's resolutions was to make amends with all of the people I have beef with. That includes this woman, so I reached out to her.

At first, she was very cold to me when I called her. But I kept at it. After about a dozen texts and calls, I got her to respond. Now we are supposed to get together. I don’t want to rehash what happened. I would like to get together and see if we can move forward. Do I need to say anything about the past, or can we just spend time together? I don’t know exactly why we fell out, so I’m not even sure what to apologize for. I’m not sure what to do now that I got her to agree to see me. -- What’s Next

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT: Be happy that you got your friend to agree to see you. Be honest when you get together. Tell her you know that something happened that caused a rift in your friendship. Admit that you are not sure exactly what happened or even what your role in it was, but you miss her and want her in your life. Apologize for hurting her in any way. Tell her you are sorry if you did something that created tension between you. Ask her if she is willing to move on and rekindle your friendship.

Be prepared to listen to her grievances. It may be impossible for her to move past it without rehashing the situation. Listen attentively and without defensiveness, if possible. When you hear what she has to say, try not to diminish her feelings, even if you do not recall what she recounts or if you recall it differently. Say you are sorry that she sees the situation in the way that she does. While you may not have the same recollection, you never meant to hurt her. Or if you do remember it as she tells you, reiterate your apology and add that you did not intend to cause her any harm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a college student. Mostly he does well in school, but this last semester was tough on him. He just told me that he dropped a class because he was doing poorly in it. I told my husband, and he hit the roof. He never dropped a class in college. Isn’t that just lazy? On and on he went. I know my son isn’t lazy, but he has been struggling. How can I help him manage his schedule better and keep my husband from going ballistic? -- Just One Class

DEAR JUST ONE CLASS: One thing college students come to learn is time management. Talk to your son about how he studies and what support he needs in order to succeed. Suggest that he speak to his career counselor to map out his graduation strategy if he hasn’t done so already. What will he need to do in order to have enough credits -- and the right ones -- now that he has dropped that class? Encourage him to be proactive as he navigates this moment. Also, tell him he will need to be prepared to discuss this situation with his father, so get ready. Tell your husband exactly how the dropped class will affect your son's timetable and what your son is doing to stay on track. Then let it play out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My professional relationship with my therapist has gradually developed into somewhat of a friendship; we’ve started texting from time to time outside of our sessions, and there’s definitely a newfound comfort level. I really appreciate the personal connection I have developed with my therapist, especially because therapy has helped me with some serious personal issues in the past. Having someone in my life that understands me so well has been really reassuring, and I love the conversations that we have. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if it’s unprofessional of my therapist to cross this boundary with me. I wouldn’t want to do anything to compromise the integrity of the work that I’m doing with my therapist -- or their career. I guess I just don’t know what to do at this point. What would you recommend? -- Friendly Therapist

DEAR FRIENDLY THERAPIST: The best relationship with a therapist is strictly professional. If you want to be friends with your therapist, consider finding a new therapist to take their place. Say as much to your therapist. Point out that you are beginning to enjoy the personal side of your relationship, but it worries you. Put it out there and say that if the two of you want to become friends, you would like to find someone else to take on the professional work. See what unfolds from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I’m having a case of deja vu. I am a tall person. I don’t really think about it much, but recently I was in a professional setting with a group of co-workers who were all nearly a foot shorter than me. When we were all standing around talking, it was awkward. They were talking to each other and basically ignoring me. I felt like I was in high school again as the odd girl out. I haven’t had that feeling in years, so it really threw me off. But I know I’m not imagining it. There were about six of them. They were clustered together talking, and I was not part of the group. I am going to be working with them at my new job, and I want to find a way to bridge the height difference. What do you recommend? -- The Tallest One

DEAR THE TALLEST ONE: As someone who has been in your situation before, I can tell you that it can be uncomfortable AND you can get past it. First, embrace your height. It is God’s gift to you, just as theirs is God’s gift to them. When they start talking to one another, move in closer and listen when appropriate and add your ideas when it’s the right time. When it seems like they are excluding you, call them on it. Ask them to repeat their point and speak directly to you so you can hear. Speak loudly enough so that they can hear you, and ask them to do the same. When possible, sit when you are talking to them so that you balance out the height differences. Remain confident in yourself. You deserve to be there just as much as they do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)