DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling-out with a friend about a year ago, and we have hardly spoken since. One of my New Year's resolutions was to make amends with all of the people I have beef with. That includes this woman, so I reached out to her.

At first, she was very cold to me when I called her. But I kept at it. After about a dozen texts and calls, I got her to respond. Now we are supposed to get together. I don’t want to rehash what happened. I would like to get together and see if we can move forward. Do I need to say anything about the past, or can we just spend time together? I don’t know exactly why we fell out, so I’m not even sure what to apologize for. I’m not sure what to do now that I got her to agree to see me. -- What’s Next

DEAR WHAT’S NEXT: Be happy that you got your friend to agree to see you. Be honest when you get together. Tell her you know that something happened that caused a rift in your friendship. Admit that you are not sure exactly what happened or even what your role in it was, but you miss her and want her in your life. Apologize for hurting her in any way. Tell her you are sorry if you did something that created tension between you. Ask her if she is willing to move on and rekindle your friendship.

Be prepared to listen to her grievances. It may be impossible for her to move past it without rehashing the situation. Listen attentively and without defensiveness, if possible. When you hear what she has to say, try not to diminish her feelings, even if you do not recall what she recounts or if you recall it differently. Say you are sorry that she sees the situation in the way that she does. While you may not have the same recollection, you never meant to hurt her. Or if you do remember it as she tells you, reiterate your apology and add that you did not intend to cause her any harm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a college student. Mostly he does well in school, but this last semester was tough on him. He just told me that he dropped a class because he was doing poorly in it. I told my husband, and he hit the roof. He never dropped a class in college. Isn’t that just lazy? On and on he went. I know my son isn’t lazy, but he has been struggling. How can I help him manage his schedule better and keep my husband from going ballistic? -- Just One Class

DEAR JUST ONE CLASS: One thing college students come to learn is time management. Talk to your son about how he studies and what support he needs in order to succeed. Suggest that he speak to his career counselor to map out his graduation strategy if he hasn’t done so already. What will he need to do in order to have enough credits -- and the right ones -- now that he has dropped that class? Encourage him to be proactive as he navigates this moment. Also, tell him he will need to be prepared to discuss this situation with his father, so get ready. Tell your husband exactly how the dropped class will affect your son's timetable and what your son is doing to stay on track. Then let it play out.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My professional relationship with my therapist has gradually developed into somewhat of a friendship; we’ve started texting from time to time outside of our sessions, and there’s definitely a newfound comfort level. I really appreciate the personal connection I have developed with my therapist, especially because therapy has helped me with some serious personal issues in the past. Having someone in my life that understands me so well has been really reassuring, and I love the conversations that we have. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if it’s unprofessional of my therapist to cross this boundary with me. I wouldn’t want to do anything to compromise the integrity of the work that I’m doing with my therapist -- or their career. I guess I just don’t know what to do at this point. What would you recommend? -- Friendly Therapist

DEAR FRIENDLY THERAPIST: The best relationship with a therapist is strictly professional. If you want to be friends with your therapist, consider finding a new therapist to take their place. Say as much to your therapist. Point out that you are beginning to enjoy the personal side of your relationship, but it worries you. Put it out there and say that if the two of you want to become friends, you would like to find someone else to take on the professional work. See what unfolds from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I’m having a case of deja vu. I am a tall person. I don’t really think about it much, but recently I was in a professional setting with a group of co-workers who were all nearly a foot shorter than me. When we were all standing around talking, it was awkward. They were talking to each other and basically ignoring me. I felt like I was in high school again as the odd girl out. I haven’t had that feeling in years, so it really threw me off. But I know I’m not imagining it. There were about six of them. They were clustered together talking, and I was not part of the group. I am going to be working with them at my new job, and I want to find a way to bridge the height difference. What do you recommend? -- The Tallest One

DEAR THE TALLEST ONE: As someone who has been in your situation before, I can tell you that it can be uncomfortable AND you can get past it. First, embrace your height. It is God’s gift to you, just as theirs is God’s gift to them. When they start talking to one another, move in closer and listen when appropriate and add your ideas when it’s the right time. When it seems like they are excluding you, call them on it. Ask them to repeat their point and speak directly to you so you can hear. Speak loudly enough so that they can hear you, and ask them to do the same. When possible, sit when you are talking to them so that you balance out the height differences. Remain confident in yourself. You deserve to be there just as much as they do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A family member of mine, whom I have not spoken to since we had a falling out in 2021, has recently asked to come spend a weekend with me in my new home. Although I have never been able to understand the cause of this family member’s distance and coldness toward me over the past few years, I have also made it a point not to overreact to their strange behavior. Despite this, it seems odd for them to reach out now, and I'm unsure whether I should invite them in. I do not want to further the rift that already exists between us. On the other hand, I fear that I could open the door for another misunderstanding or falling out by being too generous with the invitation. What do you suggest? -- Hesitant

DEAR HESITANT: Why not start with a conversation on the phone? Don’t skip to an in-person trip after so much time estranged from each other. If this person is staying in your home with you without addressing the elephant in the room, it could be extremely awkward. Respond to their query with an invitation to talk. Schedule a video chat so that you can see each other’s expressions. On the call, point out that it has been a long time since you last spoke. Note that this relative has been cold and distant as far as you recall. Ask what prompted them to reach out now. Do your best to have an open conversation with them without arguing.

If they say they heard you moved and just want to see your place, tell them that you feel you need to talk about the rift between you before they come to visit. Do your best to prompt a genuine conversation about whatever your issues are. Express your dismay at how you feel you have been treated by them. If you are willing to try to mend the relationship, say so. But tell them that you want to work on it remotely before inviting them to come visit you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that my good friend’s boyfriend watches me a little too closely. We spend a lot of time together because my friend and I hang out a lot. Since we both have partners, we invite them to be with us. At first I thought this was really nice for friends who are now couples to hang out together. But there’s something creepy about her boyfriend. I sense it, but I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to spoil this chance for the four of us to be couple friends. I’ve never had that before. I just wonder if he will try to make a move or something if we are ever alone in a room. He has not done anything like that. It’s just a feeling I have. How should I address this? -- Give Me the Creeps

DEAR GIVES ME THE CREEPS: Trust your instincts, even as you watch and listen. Don’t say anything yet. Do your best to be with the group and not alone with him. If you ever find yourself in his company solo, act normal and keep your distance. Your standoffishness may become a sign for him to back off. Pay attention. If he does or says anything untoward, call him on it immediately.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)