DEAR HARRIETTE: My professional relationship with my therapist has gradually developed into somewhat of a friendship; we’ve started texting from time to time outside of our sessions, and there’s definitely a newfound comfort level. I really appreciate the personal connection I have developed with my therapist, especially because therapy has helped me with some serious personal issues in the past. Having someone in my life that understands me so well has been really reassuring, and I love the conversations that we have. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if it’s unprofessional of my therapist to cross this boundary with me. I wouldn’t want to do anything to compromise the integrity of the work that I’m doing with my therapist -- or their career. I guess I just don’t know what to do at this point. What would you recommend? -- Friendly Therapist

DEAR FRIENDLY THERAPIST: The best relationship with a therapist is strictly professional. If you want to be friends with your therapist, consider finding a new therapist to take their place. Say as much to your therapist. Point out that you are beginning to enjoy the personal side of your relationship, but it worries you. Put it out there and say that if the two of you want to become friends, you would like to find someone else to take on the professional work. See what unfolds from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I’m having a case of deja vu. I am a tall person. I don’t really think about it much, but recently I was in a professional setting with a group of co-workers who were all nearly a foot shorter than me. When we were all standing around talking, it was awkward. They were talking to each other and basically ignoring me. I felt like I was in high school again as the odd girl out. I haven’t had that feeling in years, so it really threw me off. But I know I’m not imagining it. There were about six of them. They were clustered together talking, and I was not part of the group. I am going to be working with them at my new job, and I want to find a way to bridge the height difference. What do you recommend? -- The Tallest One

DEAR THE TALLEST ONE: As someone who has been in your situation before, I can tell you that it can be uncomfortable AND you can get past it. First, embrace your height. It is God’s gift to you, just as theirs is God’s gift to them. When they start talking to one another, move in closer and listen when appropriate and add your ideas when it’s the right time. When it seems like they are excluding you, call them on it. Ask them to repeat their point and speak directly to you so you can hear. Speak loudly enough so that they can hear you, and ask them to do the same. When possible, sit when you are talking to them so that you balance out the height differences. Remain confident in yourself. You deserve to be there just as much as they do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A family member of mine, whom I have not spoken to since we had a falling out in 2021, has recently asked to come spend a weekend with me in my new home. Although I have never been able to understand the cause of this family member’s distance and coldness toward me over the past few years, I have also made it a point not to overreact to their strange behavior. Despite this, it seems odd for them to reach out now, and I'm unsure whether I should invite them in. I do not want to further the rift that already exists between us. On the other hand, I fear that I could open the door for another misunderstanding or falling out by being too generous with the invitation. What do you suggest? -- Hesitant

DEAR HESITANT: Why not start with a conversation on the phone? Don’t skip to an in-person trip after so much time estranged from each other. If this person is staying in your home with you without addressing the elephant in the room, it could be extremely awkward. Respond to their query with an invitation to talk. Schedule a video chat so that you can see each other’s expressions. On the call, point out that it has been a long time since you last spoke. Note that this relative has been cold and distant as far as you recall. Ask what prompted them to reach out now. Do your best to have an open conversation with them without arguing.

If they say they heard you moved and just want to see your place, tell them that you feel you need to talk about the rift between you before they come to visit. Do your best to prompt a genuine conversation about whatever your issues are. Express your dismay at how you feel you have been treated by them. If you are willing to try to mend the relationship, say so. But tell them that you want to work on it remotely before inviting them to come visit you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that my good friend’s boyfriend watches me a little too closely. We spend a lot of time together because my friend and I hang out a lot. Since we both have partners, we invite them to be with us. At first I thought this was really nice for friends who are now couples to hang out together. But there’s something creepy about her boyfriend. I sense it, but I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to spoil this chance for the four of us to be couple friends. I’ve never had that before. I just wonder if he will try to make a move or something if we are ever alone in a room. He has not done anything like that. It’s just a feeling I have. How should I address this? -- Give Me the Creeps

DEAR GIVES ME THE CREEPS: Trust your instincts, even as you watch and listen. Don’t say anything yet. Do your best to be with the group and not alone with him. If you ever find yourself in his company solo, act normal and keep your distance. Your standoffishness may become a sign for him to back off. Pay attention. If he does or says anything untoward, call him on it immediately.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a manager of a small remote team. One of my new team members calls into meetings from her bedroom, with a large framed photo of herself prominently displayed in the background. I have a concern about this and am unsure of how to proceed. On one hand, I understand that team members are in their own private spaces on video calls and don’t need to follow certain norms. I don’t want to create an environment where everyone has to censor their home decorations in some way. At the same time, the photo in question is quite personal and revealing, and it does have an effect on the environment of the meeting. I feel uncomfortable about it and am concerned about what it conveys to the rest of the team, especially as it comes from a position of power within the team. What is the best way to approach this? -- Hide the Photo

DEAR HIDE THE PHOTO: As manager, you should schedule a private meeting with this new team member and directly address the issue. Point out that you noticed the photo behind her during your work calls, and advise her to select another area of her home to stage her calls, remove the photograph, blur the background or use a virtual background as an option. Tell her that you think her personal photo is not appropriate, and it’s important for everyone on the team to have a professional presentation during calls. If your company has a branded virtual background, you can offer her that as an option as you also offer it to the whole team. In fact, you can recommend to the whole team that they use the branded background for meetings so everyone is uniform even though you work remotely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling both excited and a tad bit nervous as I have just moved into my own place for the first time. As I'm working remotely, I don't have a regular routine outside of the one day on weekends when I have an in-person commitment. I'm feeling uncomfortable that I might be isolating myself too much. I'm used to living with others and sharing space with them, and now I'm worried I'm making too much of an effort to be alone. Do you have any advice on how to stay social while I’m all alone? -- On My Own

DEAR ON MY OWN: You have to give yourself time to acclimate to living alone. It is very different from sharing space with others, and it takes time for it to become the new norm. Add to that the new remote workspace, and it’s understandable that you feel isolated. Consider becoming a member of a co-working space. Look around to see if there is one in your area where you can go to work in the company of other professionals, even though you aren’t working with them.

You can also look around to see what extracurricular activities are nearby. Maybe you can join the local museum or take an art class. Is there a theater in your area? What do people do socially there? Look around in your neighborhood to see, and also look online for local attractions. You need to put yourself out there so that you can discover what is available to you. It’s easy to become a hermit. Don’t do it. Go out daily and explore. That’s how you will find your niche.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)