DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a manager of a small remote team. One of my new team members calls into meetings from her bedroom, with a large framed photo of herself prominently displayed in the background. I have a concern about this and am unsure of how to proceed. On one hand, I understand that team members are in their own private spaces on video calls and don’t need to follow certain norms. I don’t want to create an environment where everyone has to censor their home decorations in some way. At the same time, the photo in question is quite personal and revealing, and it does have an effect on the environment of the meeting. I feel uncomfortable about it and am concerned about what it conveys to the rest of the team, especially as it comes from a position of power within the team. What is the best way to approach this? -- Hide the Photo

DEAR HIDE THE PHOTO: As manager, you should schedule a private meeting with this new team member and directly address the issue. Point out that you noticed the photo behind her during your work calls, and advise her to select another area of her home to stage her calls, remove the photograph, blur the background or use a virtual background as an option. Tell her that you think her personal photo is not appropriate, and it’s important for everyone on the team to have a professional presentation during calls. If your company has a branded virtual background, you can offer her that as an option as you also offer it to the whole team. In fact, you can recommend to the whole team that they use the branded background for meetings so everyone is uniform even though you work remotely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling both excited and a tad bit nervous as I have just moved into my own place for the first time. As I'm working remotely, I don't have a regular routine outside of the one day on weekends when I have an in-person commitment. I'm feeling uncomfortable that I might be isolating myself too much. I'm used to living with others and sharing space with them, and now I'm worried I'm making too much of an effort to be alone. Do you have any advice on how to stay social while I’m all alone? -- On My Own

DEAR ON MY OWN: You have to give yourself time to acclimate to living alone. It is very different from sharing space with others, and it takes time for it to become the new norm. Add to that the new remote workspace, and it’s understandable that you feel isolated. Consider becoming a member of a co-working space. Look around to see if there is one in your area where you can go to work in the company of other professionals, even though you aren’t working with them.

You can also look around to see what extracurricular activities are nearby. Maybe you can join the local museum or take an art class. Is there a theater in your area? What do people do socially there? Look around in your neighborhood to see, and also look online for local attractions. You need to put yourself out there so that you can discover what is available to you. It’s easy to become a hermit. Don’t do it. Go out daily and explore. That’s how you will find your niche.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a first-year undergrad student, and I’m lucky to have lived a relatively privileged life with little difficulty or challenge. For one of my elective courses, we are required to write a story about a hardship we have had to overcome and share it with the class. While I appreciate this type of personal writing assignment, I have never experienced a great difficulty that would merit such a story. My classmates’ stories have been difficult to hear. Many of them are much more mature and experienced in life than I am, and they have dealt with some truly devastating circumstances. I don’t feel comfortable making up a hardship, so I don’t know what to do. I would like to avoid looking insensitive, but at the same time, I feel like a fraud writing a story I can’t really relate to. Can you give me advice on how to handle this situation in the most sensitive and appropriate way? -- Privileged

DEAR PRIVILEGED: Do you know of a hardship that someone you love has experienced? Perhaps you can tell that story along with your own. You can admit in your story that you have led a privileged life. As a young person, you have yet to experience some of the things that your fellow classmates have endured. Admit that this makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes privilege can do that to a person. Then share something you have observed or are aware of from your neighborhood, your school, your community growing up. Tell that person’s story from your perspective; write about what you learned about the person and their situation and how it made both that person and you feel. Offer that you imagine that as your life progresses, you will witness more hardship and likely have some of your own. But today, what you have more than anything is empathy for people who have endured tremendous difficulty. Tell the truth. That’s all you can do.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new friend at work who just moved here from the Caribbean. We live in a cold-weather climate. Even though spring is slowly coming, it is cold here. It usually stays pretty cold until May, too. My friend has only summer clothes. No matter how many layers he puts on, it’s not enough. I know this guy is proud. I want to offer him a coat of mine -- not because he is poor or anything, but just because he needs it. I don’t want to insult him, though. How can I approach this with respect so that he knows I’m coming from a good place? -- Cold Outside

DEAR COLD OUTSIDE: Bring the coat with you to work in a closed bag so that it is private. Speak to your new friend and tell that him you brought him a gift that you think he may be able to use right now. Tell him that it is a coat that is good for this climate. Point out that it will stay cold for several more weeks. Because of the weather, you have several coats, and it would be your honor to share one of yours with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I decided to give my husband a second chance after he and I went through a bad patch. I prayed on it and realized that I would rather recommit to him than whatever the alternative may be. The thing is, he hasn’t done the same. He continues to bully me, chastise me and generally treat me like crap.

I realize that this is going to work only if we both make the commitment. I have tried to get him to go to counseling with me, but he refuses. He is old-school in that way and believes that therapy is for weak people. In the meantime, he continues to do all of the things that bother me. I have generally spoken up about the way he interacts with me, but to no avail.

He didn’t act like this when we first got together. But he sure does dig in his heels and act mean now. How do I keep a positive attitude when he is so negative? -- All Alone

DEAR ALL ALONE: Go to therapy for yourself. You cannot fix your relationship on your own; the two of you need to work on it together. But in therapy you may learn tools that will help you to show up differently that may inspire change in your husband. At the very least, therapy can help you look at your life and your choices to see how your thoughts and behaviors impact the way you interact with others, including your husband. It can be true that when people change their attitudes about a person or situation, the outcomes can change as well. Your behavior can potentially inspire your husband to show up differently. With professional help, see what you can inspire.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother has a lot of dogs, and I am afraid of them. I am going to his city soon and want to be able to spend some time with him. I should also mention that he is a homebody. In order for me to see him, I have to go to his house. I am petrified of the idea of going there when his dogs are around. I am especially afraid to spend the night there, although that’s what I used to do whenever I visited him in the past. How can I get over my fear? Or what else can I do if I want to see my brother? -- Afraid of Dogs

DEAR AFRAID OF DOGS: You and your brother both have fears. You are afraid of his dogs, and it sounds like he is afraid to venture out. You have always acquiesced to him. Perhaps it’s time for that to stop -- at least in part. Ask your brother to put his dogs away while you visit. Make sure he agrees to that before you arrive. Limit your visit to a comfortable amount of time that allows you two to spend time together without encroaching on the natural course of life for him and his dogs.

Do not spend the night. You do not have to do that. Arrange to visit with him for one day. Either go to a nearby hotel after your visit ends or arrange for your flight home to come after you spend time with him. You do not have to spend the night at your brother’s house if you feel uncomfortable. Just leave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)