DEAR HARRIETTE: I have some negative history with a woman who is now back in my life through work. We worked together years ago, and it didn’t end well. I didn’t like the way she handled certain things, and I let her know how I felt. Now, here we are again, working together on a project. I wonder if I should clear the air and acknowledge that things didn’t go so well last time. Should I say that I hope we will work better this go-round or just leave it alone? As I recall it, I was the one who complained before. But I know it was awkward for both of us. -- Awkward

DEAR AWKWARD: If it feels potentially awkward now, you can say something positive to her about this new experience. You can tell her you look forward to working together on the project at hand. You may also recommend that you two come up with a way of working together that is mutually beneficial for both of you. If there is something specific that didn’t work before, you may want to suggest that you both agree to take a different approach this time.

While in the moment, this could feel extraordinarily uncomfortable, stepping up and actively working to find a way for the two of you to work well together creates the space for a positive outcome. Let her know you are sincere, and then see what happens.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In a few weeks, I'm moving out of state. I have been telling my family and friends about the move, and out of enthusiasm, I encouraged people to visit me as soon as possible. I've had a few people say they're taking me up on my offer and coming in the next month. I'm a little nervous because I'm not even there yet or settled into my new place, but the visitors are eager to come. I want to provide the best experience for my friends, but I'm wondering if I invited them too soon. What should I do? Should I apologize for not giving myself more time to settle or do my best to prepare for their visits? -- Too Soon

DEAR TOO SOON: Put on the brakes now -- right now. You must give yourself a chance to get acclimated to your new environment. You have to move in, get your bearings, learn the hot spots to visit and find your comfort zone. That could take you a few weeks up to a couple of months. Put the visits on pause for the most part. Tell your loved ones that you were a bit too eager to have company. Push all trips that you can back a few weeks. If people complain that they made plans already, apologize for being too eager but stand your ground. You deserve to give yourself time to get comfortable in your new home.

Unless you intend to move back home soon after this move, take a deep breath, relax and invite your friends to do the same. Then space out their visits so that you have time alone, time meeting new people and time visiting with them.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have developed some dark spots on my face over the past few years. I cover them up with makeup, but they seem to be getting worse. A friend of mine keeps chastising me for spending time in the sun. I have to admit that I have been a sun worshipper for most of my life, since I was a teenager. I am now in my 50s. Now I worry that sun exposure may be the reason for these marks. I have never gone to a dermatologist. My friend says I should. I always thought that was an extravagant doctor to visit and that only rich people did it. She says it’s smart to go because then you know what you need to do to care for your skin. What do you think? -- Skin Care

DEAR SKIN CARE: Dermatologists recommend that you visit them once a year to check on the health of your skin. Your skin is the largest organ in your body, believe it or not. Everyone should have their skin evaluated. If you have had a lot of sun exposure, even in the distant past, you especially should check to make sure that you do not have skin cancer. Yes, hyperpigmentation can come from overexposure to the sun.

Schedule an appointment today. You do not have to be rich to do this. You will be smart to go so that you can learn how best to protect and care for your skin. What you should not do is put skin lightening products on your face without a doctor’s supervision. Such treatments can cause further damage to your skin.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son used to be an overachiever. Now he hangs out in his room playing video games. He hardly ever comes out to talk to the family. He dropped out of college during the pandemic, and he doesn’t want to go back. I worry about him. Some of his behaviors are on the checklist for depression. I cannot get him to go to a therapist or anything. How can I help my son? -- Worried Sick

DEAR WORRIED SICK: Who are your son’s friends? Do you think any of them might be a good influence on him? Perhaps you can coax your son out of his room through friends who invite him to hang out or come to visit. Plan a family vacation that will pull him out of the house and get him doing something different.

Do your best to get your son to talk to you or someone else in the family. Make light conversation -- not probing questions. You may also need to use tough love. Tell him he has to get a job if he is not going to continue going to school. He has to be responsible for himself. You can push him to take action.

If none of that works, stage an intervention. Get a therapist to make a house call to visit with him and talk to him about what’s going on. You should take this seriously. Sadly, many young people have suffered tremendously during the last few years, too often with depression being the diagnosis. If your son is even possibly suffering from depression, you need to get him medical attention now -- even if he gets mad at you in the short term.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is Muslim. We are currently in the season of Ramadan. While I am not Muslim, I hang out with her a lot. During this period, she can eat at only certain times, and she absolutely cannot drink alcohol. Typically on the weekends, the two of us and some other friends hang out and have a glass of wine. I miss that. Should I support her by not drinking at all during this period? Or do you think it’s smart for me to expand my friend group so I can do what I want during her time of restraint? I’m not sure how to be a good friend to her now. -- Restrictions

DEAR RESTRICTIONS: During the period of Ramadan, Muslims are obligated to fast, which means abstaining from sex, food, drinking and smoking from dawn to dusk. Generally, people refrain from drinking and smoking for the entire period. Out of respect for your friend, you definitely should not do any of those things around her, including eating while she cannot. It is kind of you to practice abstinence when in her company. By the way, that will only benefit you in your own self-discipline.

As for spending time with other friends who are not practicing Muslims, that’s fine, too. But you shouldn’t go looking for people to drink with. If you naturally have friends who do not observe the same religious practices, of course you can hang out with them.

For yourself, use this time to be reflective. What behaviors serve you today? What can you reduce or eliminate? That is wise for you to consider, and a great way to be thoughtful to your friend as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that my ankles swell a lot these days. I don’t know what has caused this, but it is happening with some frequency. I have the cheapest health insurance, so I don’t really want to go to the doctor. The co-pay is high, and I worry that they will either not pay close attention to me or find something terrible that’s wrong with me that I can’t afford to treat. So far, I have not done anything about it. I’m sure that’s not the way to handle this. What do you recommend? -- Swollen Ankles

DEAR SWOLLEN ANKLES: Of course you should go to the doctor, preferably your own primary physician if you have one. That is because a doctor who knows you may have a better sense of your overall health than someone you are just meeting. Even if you have to pay a hefty co-pay, that’s lower than having to deal with an emergency situation.

According to the National Institutes of Health, swollen ankles -- or edema -- happens from sitting too long, eating too much salty food, being pregnant or being overweight. You can move more, eat healthier and work to lose weight if any of the above is true about you. But go to the doctor. It might save your life if something more serious is at hand.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)