DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is Muslim. We are currently in the season of Ramadan. While I am not Muslim, I hang out with her a lot. During this period, she can eat at only certain times, and she absolutely cannot drink alcohol. Typically on the weekends, the two of us and some other friends hang out and have a glass of wine. I miss that. Should I support her by not drinking at all during this period? Or do you think it’s smart for me to expand my friend group so I can do what I want during her time of restraint? I’m not sure how to be a good friend to her now. -- Restrictions

DEAR RESTRICTIONS: During the period of Ramadan, Muslims are obligated to fast, which means abstaining from sex, food, drinking and smoking from dawn to dusk. Generally, people refrain from drinking and smoking for the entire period. Out of respect for your friend, you definitely should not do any of those things around her, including eating while she cannot. It is kind of you to practice abstinence when in her company. By the way, that will only benefit you in your own self-discipline.

As for spending time with other friends who are not practicing Muslims, that’s fine, too. But you shouldn’t go looking for people to drink with. If you naturally have friends who do not observe the same religious practices, of course you can hang out with them.

For yourself, use this time to be reflective. What behaviors serve you today? What can you reduce or eliminate? That is wise for you to consider, and a great way to be thoughtful to your friend as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that my ankles swell a lot these days. I don’t know what has caused this, but it is happening with some frequency. I have the cheapest health insurance, so I don’t really want to go to the doctor. The co-pay is high, and I worry that they will either not pay close attention to me or find something terrible that’s wrong with me that I can’t afford to treat. So far, I have not done anything about it. I’m sure that’s not the way to handle this. What do you recommend? -- Swollen Ankles

DEAR SWOLLEN ANKLES: Of course you should go to the doctor, preferably your own primary physician if you have one. That is because a doctor who knows you may have a better sense of your overall health than someone you are just meeting. Even if you have to pay a hefty co-pay, that’s lower than having to deal with an emergency situation.

According to the National Institutes of Health, swollen ankles -- or edema -- happens from sitting too long, eating too much salty food, being pregnant or being overweight. You can move more, eat healthier and work to lose weight if any of the above is true about you. But go to the doctor. It might save your life if something more serious is at hand.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a business trip with a colleague who is a fitness buff. Every morning, he got up early and worked out at the gym before coming to meetings. All of his meals were super health-conscious, which was inspiring, but after a while, I began to feel paranoid. I slacked off big time during the pandemic -- and never was very fit anyway. This guy’s routines got me feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable. I don’t know if he meant to do that, but he did. I know I should do more to take care of myself, but I didn’t like feeling awkward every time I was around him. How do you handle being around people with different habits than your own? -- Out of My Comfort Zone

DEAR OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE: This situation represented more than being uncomfortable. It sounds like this guy made you think hard about the choices you have been making. That may be a good thing. What if you decided to work out more? Eat differently? Did he inspire you to make any changes in your daily activities and intake? If so, hold on to that. It would be different if he intentionally did things to shame you. But if he was simply living his life and doing his thing, so be it.

For you, his example may just be the wake-up call that can get you to jump-start your health management. Consider it a gift rather than an annoyance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have too much stuff. I know this, but whenever I go to throw things away or give them to charity, I freeze. Well, I do manage to give away a few things, but not nearly enough. What can I do to let go? I worry that if I give away clothes that are two sizes bigger than I am now, I may gain weight and have to buy new things. Or if I give away dishes that I only use every few years, when I want them, I won’t have them. I don’t have anywhere to store them, though, so things just pile up. How can I get better at letting go of these items? -- Need To Purge

DEAR NEED TO PURGE: Do you have a friend who may be able to help you? Sometimes having a neutral party who is not attached to your stuff can help you get rid of things more quickly. Ask a trusted friend to help you sort through items one afternoon, and see how that goes. You can also call a professional service that helps people purge, like 1-800-Got-Junk or other professional organizing companies.

As for old clothes and other things that you haven’t used for years, do yourself a favor and release them. Marie Kondo suggests that you thank the items for their service and pass them on. This allows you to have space for what you need. If you end up back at that bigger size, you can give yourself permission to purchase in that size. For now, you don’t need to clutter your space with things that cannot serve you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am traveling with a work group, and we will be in close quarters for about a month. I like the people I’m traveling with, so I suspect everything will be fine. My one concern is that I have a number of medical issues that nobody knows about. I am a very private person, especially about things like this. I had to fill out a form to outline my medical history, but that form was private. I’m wondering if I am under any obligation to tell my team about my medical challenges. For the most part, there should be no issues. I am under medical supervision, and I follow the protocol I have been given. I have no physical restrictions. I can’t go skydiving or zip lining, but other than that, I’m good. Will I be able to keep my health status to myself? -- Staying Private

DEAR STAYING PRIVATE: Review the agenda for your extended trip to see what is planned, and make sure there is nothing on the list that you cannot or do not want to do. If you see something, tell your supervisor. You don’t have to explain your medical circumstances, necessarily, but you should indicate which activities you will not participate in. If pressed, you can say that the reason is medical.

Outside of that, keep a list of your medications and health concerns together in an easy-to-find location. This will be helpful if you experience a medical emergency. It could be your carry-on bag, for example. Should someone need to check on your health status, make it easy to find.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I barely speak to my husband anymore. Nine times out of 10 when we talk, it ignites an argument, usually about nothing. He always has to be right, and he doesn’t listen. It wasn’t like that in the early days. We used to enjoy each other’s company, but not anymore. I remember having a roommate once when I was in college. We coexisted in our space, but no more than that. That was better than this. At least with that woman, it wasn’t hostile. It was just two people living in the same space. This is different. My husband and I are supposed to be in a relationship. I thought in marriage you were supposed to communicate and choose to do things together. That died years ago, for the most part. Do I just accept that this is how it will be from now on? How can I make it better? -- It Feels Dead

DEAR IT FEELS DEAD: Have you talked to your husband -- or at least attempted to do so? I know you hate the idea of arguing with him, but you do need to start some kind of communication. Think about what you used to enjoy doing together. Invite him to do that with you now. Basically invite him on a date. Tell him you want to spend more time with him. Ask him what he would like to do. If he has no ideas, come up with some, and urge him to join you. If you have mutual friends, schedule a date with them. Yes, it will take extra energy, but why not?

The late actress Ruby Dee, who was married for more than 50 years to the actor Ossie Davis, told me once that a marriage has a chance to last as long as one of the two still wants it to work because that person will make an effort. Don’t give up yet. See if your effort can spark some positive energy.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)