DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a father trying to repair my relationships with my grown children. While the kids were growing up, I was never as present as I wanted to be in their lives, and I regret that. I want to repair the rift, but I don't know how. I'm finding it difficult to build a strong relationship due to the fact that there's so much we don't know about each other. I feel like I looked up one day and they were full-grown adults with their own lives and their own families, and I want to be a part of that. How can I build bridges with my children and make up for lost time? -- Building Bridges

DEAR BUILDING BRIDGES: Start by being honest with your children. Meet with them individually or as a group, and tell them the truth. Admit that you know you weren’t there for them as they probably needed you when they were young. Do not make excuses, no matter what the reasons may be. Tell them you are sorry. Add that you do want to be in their lives, and you are asking for their blessing to build those relationships now. Don’t be pushy. Just be honest.

Ask them if they would be willing to make space for you in their lives. You can take it one day at a time, starting perhaps with talking to each other monthly and visiting when time allows. Don’t make too big of an ask. Be sure to honor whatever you agree to do. Remember, you are the one with the sketchy reputation. You have to prove that you mean what you say.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a young woman, and for as long as I can remember, I've wanted to move to a different country and experience life in a new place. Unfortunately, my parents are concerned and keep speaking their fears into my plans. No matter how much I try to express how excited I am and how confident I am in my decision, they remain doubtful and concerned. I don’t need their permission, but I do want their support. I need to find a way to make them understand how much I believe this experience will be positive for me, both personally and professionally. I want to go with their blessing and not cause tension in our relationship. Can you offer any advice? -- Ready To Go

DEAR READY TO GO: Are you in a position to be financially independent of your parents? That is important for whatever decision you make. You need to be able to provide for yourself. Moving overseas can be wonderful if you map it out carefully. To stay indefinitely, you will need to work. It is not always easy to get a work visa, so do your research and find a program that pays Americans to work in other countries, at least for starters. If you can prove to your parents that you have thought this move through and designed a plan that will be safe and responsible, they may soften a bit.

Ultimately, though, this is your life. If you feel you need to do this, map it out and go for it. Your parents may be upset at first, but if you make smart choices, you will be able to show them that you can follow your dreams and be responsible. They should come around eventually.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an entrepreneur. I have helped a good friend of mine who owns a struggling business that lacks funding, and it has caused a great deal of stress on both of us. My friend has not been able to pay me for my services or even cover their expenses, yet I have continued to help out, providing services to the best of my ability. I feel for my friend and want to do everything I can to support them, but at this point, I am reaching the limits of what I can do without being paid. I'm in a difficult situation, not wanting to take money from my friend, but also feeling like I should receive payment for my services. Is there anything I can do to support my friend without breaking my financial commitment to myself and my business? -- Need Payment

DEAR NEED PAYMENT: It is often difficult to do business with friends and family because the lines are easily blurred. Your friend is far less likely to pay you for services than they would an outside contractor they don’t know. Is that fair? No, but it is common.

What you must do immediately is begin looking at this relationship as strictly business. Moving forward, make an invoice along with a clause for terms for payment and interest or penalties that may accrue if payment is not made in a timely manner. Stop providing more services until you are paid for those already executed. Express your interest in helping your friend, but establish that you have to step away for now in order to tend to your business. When theirs is fluid, perhaps you can rejoin the project. But do know that it is unlikely that you will ever receive payment for whatever you are owed if your friend lacks the funds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a bit of a daredevil. Well, that’s how I think of her. She enjoys extreme athletics. I’m happy that she loves these things, which include traveling all over the world to fulfill her dreams, but they don’t interest me. For several of these adventures, she has invited me to join her. I graciously declined each time. This year, something different has happened. A group of us were out for dinner, and she started jabbing at me for not wanting to participate in her most recent adventure. She accused me of not being adventurous, of being boring and old. I took great offense at this. The whole table of friends started laughing, and one by one they chimed in with their views about how I spend my time. Meanwhile, they don’t all travel with our mutual friend, either. I thought this was rude and uncalled-for. How can I address it with my friend? -- To Each His Own

DEAR TO EACH HIS OWN: Call her and tell her you want to talk. Be direct. Let her know you don’t appreciate the way she railed at you and got everyone else to chime in. Point out that while you do not share an interest in her activities, you never once teased her about her choices. Ask her why she felt the need to poke fun at you because you have other interests. Make sure she knows that she hurt your feelings, and you expect this never to happen again.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A recently retired former employee of mine is trying to build a friendship with me. We were never particularly friendly while they were employed, and I find the dynamic now to be awkward and uncomfortable. I want to be respectful and kind, but at the same time, I don't want to be forced into a friendship. Can you help me come up with a way to set boundaries diplomatically? -- Awkward Friendship

DEAR AWKWARD FRIENDSHIP: Be cordial and clear. Congratulate your former employee on their retirement and encourage them to enjoy their newly discovered time to do whatever they choose. When they invite you to spend time with them, bow out gracefully. Let them know that your schedule is too full now for you to commit to spending time together. Just say no when they invite you to do things. If this person emails you, write back graciously, but do not agree to hang out with them or become pen pals. If they call, send it to voicemail. You don’t have to respond right away, either. When you get a chance to listen to the message, you can decide what is required, but a simple text back saying you are very busy and unable to connect right now should suffice. After that, just stop responding.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband’s belly has gotten huge over the past few years, but he either doesn’t realize it or doesn’t care. He still wears sweaters that fit him 20 years ago, and they pull up over the belly so his skin is exposed. It’s not a pretty sight. When I suggest that he wear one of the sweaters I recently purchased him that is the right size, he balks and says he’s wearing what he wants to wear. I suppose at home that’s OK, but he even wears these too-small clothes out in public. It is not good. How can I get him to pay closer attention to his grooming? Many people gain weight over time. I’m not chastising him about that. It would be nice, of course, if he looked after his health. But right now I just want him to cover his belly! -- Cover Your Belly

DEAR COVER YOUR BELLY: Do your best to get your husband to look in the mirror when he is wearing the small sweater. Point out that it doesn’t fit him anymore. Ask him to indulge you for a moment. Bring one of the new sweaters and ask him to try it on. Point out that he looks good in it because it fits.

When he grumbles and says he doesn’t care, tell him that you care. You want to look at him and see him well-groomed. Tell him it matters to you that he pays attention to his appearance, at least a little bit. Draw the line for going out. Tell him that even if he refuses to dress in clothes that fit at home, when you go out together, he needs to wear something that fits his body. (Hopefully, he won’t dig in his heels.)

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)