DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is in college, and the trips to visit him or bring him home for breaks and holidays are expensive. Recently, my husband asked me how much his spring break flight cost. When I told him, he hit the ceiling. This is not news. We talked about what college would cost before my son went there. My husband seems to be totally checked out. He made one contribution to the boy’s college bills and then seemingly washed his hands of the issue.
Grumbling about costs now -- especially when he’s not making a single effort to help pay the bills -- irks me to no end. I don’t need to hear about how expensive college is. I would appreciate more financial support, though. Oh yeah, and he has some money. He could give something if he wanted to, but he doesn’t believe in college, so he is reluctant to contribute. -- Please Help
DEAR PLEASE HELP: While your husband may not be a fan of college per se, I bet he appreciates seeing his son when he comes home. Approach him from that angle, so that he doesn't feel like you are asking for help with tuition expenses. Tell him how much you would appreciate him helping to defray the cost of your son’s flight. Suggest, too, that he give your son some cash when he comes home so that he has money to hang out with his friends and get around. Go a step further and invite your husband to continue to send your son money when he’s back at school. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but any contribution will help make the financial burden lighter on you.