DEAR HARRIETTE: I work freelance and, therefore, never know when it will be feast or famine. As a result, I always say a resounding yes when I am asked to do a job. I had a good year last year, but things are kind of dicey this year, so I have been saying yes like crazy.

I also have been fighting off one illness after another this year. I feel certain that my illnesses are happening because I haven’t gotten enough rest, but I’m afraid to stop. If I turn down work this month, how am I going to pay my bills in a few months? I don’t mean to sound desperate, but recently I have been in a situation where my income was down and I was nearly thrown out of my apartment. How can I take better care of myself and afford to take care of myself? -- Not Enough

DEAR NOT ENOUGH: Get quiet for a minute and assess your life. What can you do differently? Can you look for freelance jobs that pay higher rates? Can you consider adjusting what you do to make your work less strenuous? Can you look for a full-time or part-time job, even if it’s not directly in your field? The constant juggle of searching for projects takes a lot of energy. If you can get a job that possibly offers benefits but definitely offers some stability, at least for a while, you may be able to give yourself the luxury of not working around the clock, resting more without putting yourself in financial peril.

Also, assess how you care for yourself. What do you eat? Drink? When do you rest? How do you spend whatever time you have to yourself? Can you develop healthier routines that may improve your state of mind and body? Be honest with yourself, and make whatever changes you can, one at a time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my male friends is close to a woman who is part of a project I just joined. I have seen them out together twice, and it’s really awkward. He and I are cool. I have considered him a friend for many years. His companion, however, has a negative attitude toward me. We don’t really know each other, but her business partners and I are friends from years back, and they don’t get along. I’m wondering if I should confide in my friend that I don’t know how to break the ice with my new colleague -- or even if that’s a good idea. I can tell they are close. I don’t want to make things worse. Should I reach out to him or just keep my mouth shut? -- Forging a Liaison

DEAR FORGING A LIAISON: Whatever you say to your friend will go straight to this woman. As long as you are clear about that, you can proceed. If you make it known that you want to clear space for a relationship between you and his friend, you may have a chance to get to know her better. If you will be working together, that may be a good idea. Don’t complain about her to him. Instead, suggest what your vision of the ideal relationship would be, and find out if he can help to facilitate that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event and saw a lot of people I haven’t seen for a long time. One woman was very friendly, which was nice, but caught me off guard. She is what my mother calls “sometime-y.” Sometimes she knows me, and sometimes she doesn’t. On that day she saw me and thought she would even give me a hug. She is an important person in my social and professional circles, so I appreciated the acknowledgment, but I don’t want to make the mistake of thinking she likes me now -- there have been too many occasions when I was invisible to her. I do think it might be wise for me to make some kind of meaningful follow-up while I’m still on her mind. I don’t have a project right now to talk about, though, so I'm not sure what to say if I reach out to her. What do you think? -- Wanting a Connection

DEAR WANTING A CONNECTION: You already know that this person does not choose to see you all the time. Don’t forget what you know. If you think it’s beneficial for you to have a cordial relationship with her, you can send an email or text -- depending on how you usually communicate with her -- saying it was nice to see her again. Say something about the event, and leave it at that. Don’t ask for anything. Be pleasant and confident. And do not expect anything in return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep a journal. I have for decades. It’s the way that I get my emotions out and deal with my issues. In the past, any boyfriend I’ve had knew that my journals were off-limits. I trusted that nobody would look at them. Well, that changed recently. My relatively new boyfriend was at my house one afternoon when I wasn’t there. When I got home, I saw that he had gone through my journals. Worse, he confronted me about something he read in one of them. It wasn’t about him. It was about a previous relationship and some of the details of what went wrong. He read a particularly raw entry and got mad at me about the content. I immediately threw him out, telling him he had broken a confidence and it was over. To me, that was a clear violation of trust.

I am unwilling to stop journaling in order to protect myself from his prying eyes, nor am I willing to talk to my boyfriend about my past relationships, so what else is left? That’s why I dumped him. He thinks I’m nuts for being so extreme. What do you think? -- Crossed the Line

DEAR CROSSED THE LINE: How much do you like this man? Is he worth your forgiveness? While this is a clear violation of trust, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker. It depends on how much you care for him and whether you think it’s possible for him to avoid ever crossing that line again.

It’s also important for you to determine whether you can be with someone who knows intimate details about your life. While it was wrong for him to read your journal, you should think about what it would mean for a partner to really know your story.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has always expressed frustration with her immediate family, specifically her parents and her sister. She moved away from them as soon as she turned 18. As I was growing up, my mother used to tell me how important it was for her to keep her distance from them for her own mental well-being. Now that I'm all grown up, I've started to recognize a similar dynamic between my mother and sister -- one that reminds me of my mother's family. How can I preserve a sense of balance and connection in our relationship without allowing their behavior to affect me in an undesirable way? I don’t want to push my mom and sister away the way my mother pushed her family away. -- Breaking the Cycle

DEAR BREAKING THE CYCLE: Rather than cutting any family out of your life entirely, manage the time you interact with them. Notice how they behave, what you can stomach and what is simply too much for you to witness or be in the middle of. Determine where the line is so that you know that when anyone crosses it, it’s time for you to exit the scene. Let them know your boundary if you think it will help them to curb their disturbing behavior. Otherwise, just know it for yourself. All you can control is you. Figure out what that looks like for your self-preservation, and be consistent in following your plan.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started a project at work, and one of the project leaders is not friendly. She barely speaks, and when she does, she is dismissive. Other team members grumble about her behind her back. This makes for an uncomfortable work environment. It’s almost as if people are afraid of this woman. I don’t want to be like that. I want to find a way to establish a positive relationship with her. When I observe her, I see that she doesn’t like small talk. She’s all business. I’m OK with that, but it’s hard to read whether or not she thinks the business is going well. How can I make an impression on her? -- Distant Leader

DEAR DISTANT LEADER: Request a meeting with this project leader where you can talk about work. Come with a prepared list of questions that you need clarification on so that you can refer to them. That way, if you get flustered, you can refer to your list and even tell her that you have a certain number of items to cover so she and you can manage your time wisely. You may want to ask about her expectations of you for this project and how she likes to be kept abreast of progress. Does she like weekly face-to-face check-ins or daily written reports? Incorporate whatever works for her into your schedule.

Since she doesn’t like small talk, don’t try to have any. Instead, make your interaction all business as you begin to learn how best to interact with her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)