DEAR HARRIETTE: At 26 years old, I'm finally in a position to support myself independently. Despite the tangible indicators of adulthood, I still feel like I'm not ready for it. There are times when I feel like I'm still living as an inexperienced teenager, just pretending to know what I'm doing. I keep wondering -- will I ever genuinely feel like an adult? At what point does adulthood really set in? -- Growing Up
DEAR GROWING UP: So-called “growing up” can feel like it takes a lifetime. If you listen to some people who are much older than you, you may sometimes hear them saying, “I feel like a big kid.” That can be good and bad. Having an attitude of wonder and curiosity is great. Feeling vulnerable and unprepared is not.
One way to develop a mature mindset is to start planning. Envision what you want your life to be like. What do you see for yourself in five or 10 years? What will you be doing for work? Family? Friends? Where will you live? What will make you happy? How much money will you have? Think about all of it and do your best to imagine it all the way through. This will help you see what you need to do to reach your goals. Part of growing up is being responsible for yourself -- for your health, wealth and well-being. Periodically check in with yourself to see how you are doing on those fronts. If you continue to pay attention to how you are setting the course and following your plan, you will begin to notice progress. That’s what growing up looks like.