DEAR HARRIETTE: I have serious concerns about my fiance attending a bachelor party. I don't like the idea of a bunch of guys drinking and making drunk decisions throughout the evening with my future husband there. I don't think it will end well. I want my fiance to feel comfortable and to have fun on his last night as a bachelor, but I am afraid of what will happen if a bachelor party takes place. Is it wrong to ask him to not have one? How do I explain my feelings? -- Bride-To-Be
DEAR BRIDE TO BE: Bachelor parties are legendary for being nights of debauchery, but truth be told, more often than not, they turn out to be simple gatherings with the guys that are loud, drunk and harmless. Yes, you can express your reservations to your fiance, but you should not give him an ultimatum.
Instead, talk to each other about your shared values. This will probably not be the last time that your partner gets together with his friends to drink and hang out. What parameters do you think there should be on these occasions? What is off limits for him to do? Ask him and talk about it. Let him know you are concerned about his safety and judgment when he’s drunk. Encourage him to make smart choices if he decides to go through with it.