DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been with my girlfriend for two years now, and things are great. But I am starting to get a little bit uncomfortable with how often she posts about me on social media. It's nice that she wants to share our moments, but the attention she's getting can be a bit too much. It doesn't help that I'm not even on social media, and even people from my job have seen some of her posts. I'm feeling a bit invaded; what advice can you give me to navigate this situation? -- No Privacy
DEAR NO PRIVACY: Believe it or not, an important part of establishing ground rules in relationships these days occurs around boundaries of privacy. And, yes, that includes social media. Very often, couples do not share the same views on what is public information and what is not. The more social partner in a relationship may feel the urge to post every day or to post intimate moments that the other may consider to be obviously private.
You cannot assume what your partner thinks. You need to talk about it. Some people require approval of any image they are included in before posting. Some limit the frequency of posting. Some refuse any postings with alcohol (a wise choice for everyone). Some decline any posting at all. You need to negotiate this with your partner. Guess what? It may be a difficult thing to manage, especially if you don’t share the same views on the subject. Ultimately, you may come to a compromise that allows both perspectives to be considered.
As you are working to reach the compromise, be sure to include the impact that postings can have on your career, your status in the community and, of course, your privacy.