DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I see a particular woman in my wife’s friend group, she looks at me, says hello and asks my name. I want to say that I have been in her company for a good 15 years -- though not closely. We do go to the same parties every year and share many of the same friends and associates. I find it baffling that this woman doesn’t ever recognize me. I see her anywhere from five to 10 times a year.
Should I be insulted by this? Should I say something to her, or should I just keep on introducing myself and let it go? At first, I was taken aback, but now I can’t be bothered. (Maybe that’s not totally true.) When I glimpse her chatting it up with other friends of mine, I can’t help but wonder why I am not memorable -- at all. -- Forget Me Not
DEAR FORGET ME NOT: There is a chance that this woman is suffering from some form of memory loss. Rather than you not being memorable, it could be that she is experiencing moments when she has no recollection of people, places or experiences. Who knows? You don’t have to figure that out. What you can do is have compassion for her and reintroduce yourself when she asks. You can also refresh her memory, reminding her of the last time you saw her or pointing out something you consider remarkable about her.
Sometimes people don’t remember others when the interactions they have are fleeting and inconsequential. If you mainly have said hello to this woman over the years without stopping to talk to her and establish some kind of connection, she may have no anchor point upon which to create memories of you. Consider talking to her for a few minutes in the future. The same goes for anybody else you want to build memories with. Otherwise, just say hello and keep it moving.