DEAR HARRIETTE: Growing up, I was always the overachiever. I got straight A's, ran track and took part in various extracurriculars, often leaving my siblings in the dust. My parents and family always admired my dedication and ambition, praising me whenever I achieved something new.

Now, however, it seems as though that same drive that took me to the top of my family has suddenly and inexplicably faded. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to find the motivation to achieve the way I used to. The success I’ve known has now become nothing but a distant memory, leaving me to wonder why this sudden and dramatic change has taken over my life. It's a shocking realization, wondering how I went from a rock star overachiever to struggling to keep up. So where do I go from here? -- Feeling Lost

FEELING LOST: Instead of working overtime to replicate the past, turn your attention to the present and the future. What do you want for your life? What are your personal and professional goals? Be specific as you detail these ideas so that you create space to manifest them.

You may have burned yourself out a bit with your overachieving ways. Right now, you have the opportunity to reset your rhythm. Determine what is important to you and make a plan of execution. It doesn’t have to be set on turbo, either. Design a manageable plan that allows for rest and relaxation. That plan may be more easily sustainable. It is OK to change your pace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event recently and had a great time. I hadn’t been out with a lot of people for what seems like forever, due at first to COVID-19 and then to not necessarily feeling like I had an “in” anywhere anymore. Honestly, I had begun to feel like I was old news. Not that I’m anybody in the public eye or anything, but I used to be part of a pretty dynamic group of people in my industry’s community. Because of the pandemic, it felt like that part of me had pretty much died. But at this event, I felt better. How can I get back in the game more so that I can feel connected to like-minded people? -- Reconnecting

DEAR RECONNECTING: Take inventory of who you saw at this most recent event. Who caught your eye? Who did you talk to? Who would you want to talk with more? Make a list of people who interest you in your professional and personal communities. Find their contact information and reach out. See if you can jump on a call or a Zoom chat. Invite them for coffee or drinks. Be proactive and reach out to people you would like to know better. Then see how things unfold. Understand that it might take a little bit of time to get back to how things were.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my girlfriends asked me to set her up with one of my guy friends, so I did. She said that the date went really well, but unfortunately he wasn't as into it as she was. When I talked to him afterward, he told me that he didn't find her attractive and did not feel a connection. It’s been about a week since the date, and my girlfriend keeps bothering me about my guy friend ghosting her. I don’t know how much more honest I can be with her about the fact that he just wasn’t into her. What should I do? -- Not Into You

DEAR NOT INTO YOU: Your job is not matchmaker. Make that clear to her. Remind her that you did what she asked and connected them. The rest is up to them. Don’t be the messenger going between the two of them. Tell her to back off. You cannot do anything else. You are sorry that he apparently didn’t have the same experience she had, but it seems like it’s time to move on. If she keeps pining for him, make it clear that you do not want to participate in that conversation anymore. Make a mental note that you may not want to match her up with anyone in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently watched many friends, colleagues and family members lose their jobs. I think that the constant fear of getting laid off might be more stressful than actually getting laid off. The thought of losing my job constantly lurks in the back of my mind, and I can't help but think that maybe I'm next. I can do only so much to reassure myself; nothing is ever guaranteed these days. What should I do to relieve the constant stress and worry that I feel? -- Scared To Get Fired

DEAR SCARED TO GET FIRED: Adopt a positive approach about yourself and your work. Kindle your relationship with your boss and colleagues. Be a positive-minded problem solver. Think ahead and anticipate challenges that your company may face, and figure out how you can be of help to address whatever comes down the pike. Do not become a brown-noser; instead, become a thoughtful, attentive employee who cares about the health of the business. Always be on time and stay at work until everything is complete. Be willing to work overtime when needed. The more you can make yourself indispensable, the better off you will be.

Beyond that, prepare for the worst. Pay off your bills. Reduce your debt as best you can. Save as much as you can. Ideally, you should have a nest egg of at least six months’ salary. Live frugally so that you will be able to survive if the day comes when it is harder to get by.

Finally, take care of yourself. Eat healthfully. Drink lots of water. Move your body daily. Surround yourself with positive people. Resist the temptation to talk about the endless what-ifs of job loss. Focus on the positives. Engage your dreams and imagine a great future for yourself. Your attitude is everything.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is being bullied, and I feel powerless to help him. It brings back painful memories of when I was a kid and how much worse things got for me when my parents got involved. I fear that the same thing will happen if I try to intervene. Should I talk to my son's school or just hope he is strong enough to cope on his own? How do I know if the bullying has gone too far and what should be done if it has? -- Trying To Help

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Start by talking to your son more. Ask him to tell you what’s happening to him at school. Encourage him to open up about his interactions with other students. Tell him about what happened to you when you were young. Describe how children treated you and how you felt. See if your revelation helps him open up more. Ask him how you can support him. Does he want you to intervene? Is there anyone at school that he can confide in or ask for help? Tell him you are ready to do anything at all that may help him. Acknowledge, too, that in your case, you think it might have been best if you had dealt with the bullies yourself. Ask him if he thinks he can confront them directly.

If you do not think your son is safe, either from the bullies or from himself (if he is getting depressed), do speak to the school administrators or guidance counselors. If it gets too bad, you may have to take your son out of that school entirely.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in my late 20s, and I’ve finally started to make new friends other than the ones I’ve had since I was a teenager. Since I’ve started to branch out, one particular old friend of mine seems to be having a hard time with it. She acts like I'm excluding her and gets jealous when I do things that don’t involve her. It's weird because she's very popular and has lots of friends and a busy life of her own, but she still always expects me to be available for her. Despite how uncomfortable this behavior makes me feel, I'm trying my best to remain patient with her and talk about it openly and calmly. How do I handle this? -- Jealous Friend

DEAR JEALOUS FRIEND: Change is hard for people to accept. In this case, the changes you are making to expand your life and friend base are healthy for you and frightening to your friend. Though she has a flock of others in her life, she clearly values and may even covet your bond. That does not mean you need to cater to her. Instead, assure her that she is still your friend and that you are living your life just as she is, enjoying new experiences along the way. When she reaches out and you are unavailable, just say no and leave it at that. There is no need for excuses or sad feelings. You have individual lives that come together sometimes -- but not always. She will have to learn to live with that.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)