DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has had false teeth for more than 20 years, so he is accustomed to them. When he drinks heavily, though, he often takes them out of his mouth and puts them who knows where, only to be searching madly for them the next day. I find this infuriating and irresponsible. One time it took him a few days to find his teeth, so he had to go to work and interact with people looking absolutely crazy.

Anyhow, he repeated this awful behavior the other day. I attempted to intervene by suggesting that he put his teeth in his tooth cup. He sneered at me and kept on drinking. I’m sick of this. I hate when he gets that drunk, of course. But what’s worse is having to be enlisted in the search for his teeth the next day. How can I get him to wake up and see that what he’s doing isn’t working? -- Lost His Teeth

DEAR LOST HIS TEETH: Stop enabling your husband. As frustrating and embarrassing as it may be for him to be without his teeth in the light of day, especially if he has to interact with others, that is his problem, not yours. Tell him that he is on his own in the search department. Remind him of why his teeth are missing, even though he will hate hearing it, and make it clear that you are no longer willing to participate in the aftermath of his drunken evenings.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a number of health challenges that require me to have regular medical checkups and to take a few different medications. My husband has no patience for this. He thinks I am a hypochondriac and that I am taking too many medications. He doesn’t believe in going to the doctor and tells me that if I would only exercise and take the fistfuls of vitamins that he takes, I would be OK. I don’t doubt that more exercise and some vitamins might help, but he is constantly admonishing me for my health problems. His attitude doesn’t make me want to consider any of his ideas or tell him when I get a health report. I feel like I am retreating to a corner because of how we interact. How can I make our relationship more amicable on this topic? -- Listen to Me

DEAR LISTEN TO ME: Tell your husband that you need and want his support regarding your health challenges and that right now it feels like you receive only criticism. Point out that you know the two of you do not see eye to eye on health management, but you are grappling with some real health issues, and you would appreciate being able to share the journey with him. Ask him to listen to you without judgment and to try to be supportive.

Meanwhile, you should enlist someone else who is sympathetic to your condition to serve as a confidant. You may even want to consider making somebody else your health proxy in case of emergency. If your husband is not up on your situation and is either impatient or skeptical of your health concerns, he may not be the best person to help you in case of emergency.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My health issues have become so overwhelming that it’s putting a strain on my relationship. My partner has been supportive and understanding, but the amount of energy and attention I need is beginning to take a toll. It’s hard to keep from seeing myself as a burden when I’m feeling this way, and I know it must be difficult for my partner, too. They are trying to help in any way they can, but it’s just not enough sometimes. We’re both struggling with this situation, and it feels like an uphill battle that we can’t seem to win. How do I ensure that my relationship won’t suffer because of my health problems? -- Worried

DEAR WORRIED: Don’t push your partner away. They are there for you and with you, which is amazing. Thank them for being there through this incredibly tough period. Acknowledge that you understand how tough things are right now, and you appreciate all that they are doing for you.

Assess your needs, and figure out if there is any additional support that you can get. Will your insurance provide extra help? Can you utilize an outpatient resource to help with any logistical needs you may have? Figure out anything and everything that you can round up to help you manage your needs. Before you put a plan in place, talk to your partner. Lay out what you have learned, and ask for their input. Make sure that you present these ideas as ways to support your health needs and take some of the burden off of them. Ask for their buy-in.

Your partner may just be that “through thick and thin, sickness and in health” person for you. You don’t want to run them away if they are up for being your lifelong partner. Ask where they stand and figure out how you can help ease the burden on everyone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend, a mom from my daughter’s private school, who travels a lot. I didn’t really think about it much until recently. That’s when I figured out that she must be rich. When we hang out, I have no sense of what her life is like outside the bubble that we are in with our kids and stuff. I was thinking about it, and in just the past year, she has gone on four major trips. When she comes back, she always shares little bits, but now I’m curious about what her life is really like. Since she hasn’t included me in those stories, I wonder if it’s appropriate for me to ask questions. She is a cool lady. She doesn’t work, but she doesn't flaunt her lifestyle either. Should I just leave well enough alone? -- Who Is She?

DEAR WHO IS SHE?: Why do you want to know? Answer that before you start asking questions. You may discover that there are many wealthy families at your school. If they keep their wealth low-key, that can be a plus for everyone. Her personal business is hers to share if she so chooses.

If your curiosity is getting the best of you, you can ask her to tell you about her most recent trip. If you develop a sincere friendship with her, you will naturally learn about her life as you also should share about your own. Learning about others can be fascinating -- and daunting, too. Just do your best to hold your own by staying confident in who you are, what you value and what you teach your child about life. Do not try to compete with her or value yourself less if you discover she has more than you do of certain things.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I go to the beach every summer, and I am looking forward to it again this year. I have a bit of trepidation, too. I have gained a lot of weight. As much as I like to sit out on the beach and tan and walk around and collect shells, I am feeling more and more self-conscious about my body. I know that nobody is checking for me like that, but I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I have told myself year after year that I am going to get fit for the summer, but I have yet to achieve that goal. What can I do this year so that I will feel better about myself in a few months? -- Beach Body Dreaming

DEAR BEACH BODY DREAMING: Who says you can’t be successful this year? Make a commitment today for what you can and will do toward your fitness goal, and go for it. Instead of creating a Memorial Day deadline, just promise yourself that you will do something every day. Consider getting a physical so that you are crystal clear about your present condition. Talk to a dietitian to help get your eating habits in alignment with your health objectives. Consider hiring a trainer. You can find trainers online for virtual classes, at gyms and one-on-one at your home or another site. Getting someone to teach you safe methods to strengthen your body is a good way to jump-start your fitness, and it can be a lot of fun. Plus, it doesn’t have to be expensive. The main thing is that you commit to taking action for yourself. Turn your focus to your health and to meeting your own goals rather than pleasing those who may see you on the beach. That will make it easier for you to be successful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband gives me things that he wants for himself, not that I want for me. It is getting annoying because I end up with a pile of stuff that I do not have any interest in. Plus, he gets mad if he sees that I am not using whatever it is he has bought for me. I have a whole bag of stuff he gave me for Christmas that I have absolutely no interest in. I’m not quite sure what to do with any of it. In the past, I have told him what I like. He doesn’t seem to listen. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I think I need to tell him that he is wasting his money buying me all these things that I don’t want. How do I broach the subject? -- I Am Not You

DEAR I AM NOT YOU: Sit down with your husband and a bag of items that he most recently bought for you. Show him the items. Thank him again for buying you presents, and then point out that these are not items that you love. Be specific so that he understands. Remind him of the things that interest you that may be different from his areas of interest. If he huffs and says something like, “You are ungrateful. I’m just not going to buy you anything anymore,” you can counter with, “I do not mean to hurt your feelings, but I want you to know me better. We are different people with different interests. It is important to me that you know what I like just as I know what you like.” See what happens from there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)