DEAR HARRIETTE: My health issues have become so overwhelming that it’s putting a strain on my relationship. My partner has been supportive and understanding, but the amount of energy and attention I need is beginning to take a toll. It’s hard to keep from seeing myself as a burden when I’m feeling this way, and I know it must be difficult for my partner, too. They are trying to help in any way they can, but it’s just not enough sometimes. We’re both struggling with this situation, and it feels like an uphill battle that we can’t seem to win. How do I ensure that my relationship won’t suffer because of my health problems? -- Worried
DEAR WORRIED: Don’t push your partner away. They are there for you and with you, which is amazing. Thank them for being there through this incredibly tough period. Acknowledge that you understand how tough things are right now, and you appreciate all that they are doing for you.
Assess your needs, and figure out if there is any additional support that you can get. Will your insurance provide extra help? Can you utilize an outpatient resource to help with any logistical needs you may have? Figure out anything and everything that you can round up to help you manage your needs. Before you put a plan in place, talk to your partner. Lay out what you have learned, and ask for their input. Make sure that you present these ideas as ways to support your health needs and take some of the burden off of them. Ask for their buy-in.
Your partner may just be that “through thick and thin, sickness and in health” person for you. You don’t want to run them away if they are up for being your lifelong partner. Ask where they stand and figure out how you can help ease the burden on everyone.