DEAR HARRIETTE: I go to the beach every summer, and I am looking forward to it again this year. I have a bit of trepidation, too. I have gained a lot of weight. As much as I like to sit out on the beach and tan and walk around and collect shells, I am feeling more and more self-conscious about my body. I know that nobody is checking for me like that, but I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I have told myself year after year that I am going to get fit for the summer, but I have yet to achieve that goal. What can I do this year so that I will feel better about myself in a few months? -- Beach Body Dreaming

DEAR BEACH BODY DREAMING: Who says you can’t be successful this year? Make a commitment today for what you can and will do toward your fitness goal, and go for it. Instead of creating a Memorial Day deadline, just promise yourself that you will do something every day. Consider getting a physical so that you are crystal clear about your present condition. Talk to a dietitian to help get your eating habits in alignment with your health objectives. Consider hiring a trainer. You can find trainers online for virtual classes, at gyms and one-on-one at your home or another site. Getting someone to teach you safe methods to strengthen your body is a good way to jump-start your fitness, and it can be a lot of fun. Plus, it doesn’t have to be expensive. The main thing is that you commit to taking action for yourself. Turn your focus to your health and to meeting your own goals rather than pleasing those who may see you on the beach. That will make it easier for you to be successful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband gives me things that he wants for himself, not that I want for me. It is getting annoying because I end up with a pile of stuff that I do not have any interest in. Plus, he gets mad if he sees that I am not using whatever it is he has bought for me. I have a whole bag of stuff he gave me for Christmas that I have absolutely no interest in. I’m not quite sure what to do with any of it. In the past, I have told him what I like. He doesn’t seem to listen. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I think I need to tell him that he is wasting his money buying me all these things that I don’t want. How do I broach the subject? -- I Am Not You

DEAR I AM NOT YOU: Sit down with your husband and a bag of items that he most recently bought for you. Show him the items. Thank him again for buying you presents, and then point out that these are not items that you love. Be specific so that he understands. Remind him of the things that interest you that may be different from his areas of interest. If he huffs and says something like, “You are ungrateful. I’m just not going to buy you anything anymore,” you can counter with, “I do not mean to hurt your feelings, but I want you to know me better. We are different people with different interests. It is important to me that you know what I like just as I know what you like.” See what happens from there.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a couple of financially good years recently. At the same time, I know that a couple of my closest friends have been suffering. I do my best to be supportive. For example, we used to go out to eat a lot. Now, I invite them over for drinks or dinner at least once a month so we can hang without adding burdensome expenses to anyone. Everybody seems to have a nice time, and sometimes they will bring a dish or a bottle of wine or something. My worry is that the power dynamic is subtly changing because I’m the one doing well right now. My career has gone up and down for years. I know this may be fleeting, but I don't want my friendships to suffer. How can I keep close to my friends as our financial realities change? -- In Limbo

DEAR IN LIMBO: Continue being yourself with your friends. Don’t apologize for your success nor brag about it. Life has many twists and turns, and you are smart to realize that this moment will pass. Perhaps some of your friends will also become successful; perhaps not. Each of us has our own path to follow. You cannot create or walk anyone else’s path.

Sadly, socioeconomic differences are often the hardest for people to navigate, sometimes more difficult than race, gender or politics -- not to diminish the challenges people face in those arenas. You have the opportunity to continue your friendships despite the economic differences that are emerging. By remaining sensitive to their identities and needs as you also pay attention to yours, you have a chance to defy the odds and sustain the love between you, despite your differences. Trust that it will not always be easy. Pay attention to your loved ones. Listen to their stories as you also tell your own. Find your points of connection and keep them strong.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The process of job hunting has been emotionally and mentally exhausting. With all of the rejection, it’s hard to keep my spirits up and feel confident in myself. It feels like I’m never going to get the job I want. It can be disheartening to send out countless applications only to receive silence or polite rejections in return. How can I remain motivated while unemployed? -- Discouraged

DEAR DISCOURAGED: Rejection is tough. It can feel like a gut punch, over and over again. You need to do something to counterbalance it in order to keep your spirits up. Consider doing something physical. Create a daily exercise routine of some kind for yourself. Walk briskly for a half hour. Do some kind of aerobic exercise regularly to get your juices flowing. You don’t need to spend a penny. You just need to commit to movement. Studies have shown that getting your blood flowing can change your mood.

Next, make a plan. Write down your dreams -- especially the biggest ones you have. Don’t give up on them. Think about steps that can get you to manifesting your dreams. The littlest goals can help you to stay on course. Look outside of your comfort zone for employment. Where are the needs in your community? Figure that out and offer to help in those areas. Don’t give up. Get creative and keep going for it every day!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in the onboarding process for a new project, and one of the principals is worrying me. There is a lot of tension in leadership. I have the ear of one of the leaders, and right now all I’m hearing is moaning and groaning about internal feuding. It’s making me worry that the work cannot get done due to the bickering. I want to be a confidant to this woman, my contact, but I’m tired of hearing the blow-by-blow of internal drama. And I’m worried that I won’t be effective after I join the team if they can’t get past the fighting. How can I help get them back on track? -- Eyes on the Prize

DEAR EYES ON THE PRIZE: When you talk to your contact, focus on the goals of the project and how to execute them. Agree to listen to the internal conflict for a few minutes, but gently pivot the conversation to the work at hand. Offer to help keep the goals on track. If you sense that the blow-by-blow is consuming too much oxygen, ask her to refocus on the project. Come to your meetings with a list of objectives, timelines and other prompts that can help keep discussions on track. Before you sign any paperwork, make it known that you want to work on this project and that you are concerned about how time-consuming and distracting the in-fighting has become. Offer to help keep the project focused, but make it clear that leadership has to work through their turmoil -- and fast.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband's father has always expected us to give him money whenever he needs it. This expectation is unreasonable and causes us a lot of stress and financial burden. I understand that he may need some help at times, but always expecting us to provide for him without any compromise or consideration for our own financial situation is not fair. I don't know what to do about this situation. It has been going on for quite some time now, and my husband refuses to confront his father about it. What can we do to break free from this unfair demand while still showing compassion toward his father? -- Stop Asking

DEAR STOP ASKING: Sit down with your husband and make a budget. Review all of your financial needs and goals. Talk about what your plans are for your family, what you want to save for, etc. Include some support for your father-in-law and potentially any other family members who may need help. Elder care is a real concern for millions of families in our country. In order to have control over your life, you have to figure out and be clear about what you can contribute to your father-in-law.

Once you have established what you are comfortable contributing to your father-in-law, agree to tell him. This may require that you step up to deliver the news if your husband doesn’t feel capable. You two need to decide how you will handle it. Will you give him a monthly allowance? Will you create an emergency fund for when he calls, but limit the amount? Whatever you decide, move forward together with that understanding, and let your father-in-law know that there are boundaries around his monetary requests now. Period.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)