DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been single for a while now, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of finding someone new. I want to take this time to focus on myself and what I need. It's important for me to build confidence in myself and know that I can thrive alone if I need to. I know that a major part of being single is learning to create joy for yourself and to appreciate spending time alone, but I don’t know how. How do I make the most of this time in my life? -- Single Again
DEAR SINGLE AGAIN: What do you enjoy? Think about that. What do you like to do in your spare time? What have you wanted to do that you haven’t made time for? What makes you smile? Really think about these things and make a list for yourself. Too often we fill our days with work and little else. What if you allocated time several days a week to doing something you like?
I have a friend who has been single for some years now who is one of the most content people I know. She is into gardening and travel and discovering treasures in small towns, and she does a lot of that by herself. She also invites friends to tag along when she feels like adding the company of others. What I have noticed about her is her embrace of the moment by herself. She has no problem sitting in a cafe drinking a coffee and reading the paper or traveling solo to another country and taking a tour of the countryside. You need to find your interests and comfort zones. You may need to create new ones, but you can do it. And who knows? You may meet someone along the way who shares your interests.