DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m getting married soon. Planning the wedding has been stressful for a lot of reasons, but one of the main reasons has been my fiance’s groomsmen. One of the groomsmen's girlfriends is extremely jealous and does not want him walking down the aisle with any of my bridesmaids. She is demanding that her boyfriend walk down the aisle alone. My fiance has tried to resolve the issue to no avail. My solution is to kick him out of the wedding and uninvite the girlfriend (I barely know her). Would this be unfair? -- Added Stress

DEAR ADDED STRESS: As tempting as it may be to kick him out of the wedding and uninvite them, that may be a bit extreme. Instead, invite them simply as guests. If the groomsman and your fiance are close, uninviting his girlfriend will seriously hurt your relationship moving forward. I’m going to say that isn’t worth it. It sounds like this man and his girlfriend have their own issues around trust that are larger than your bridal party. It could also simply be that she doesn’t understand how weddings work. It is common for groomsmen to walk with whomever is assigned to them, regardless of their relationship status. The bridal party stands up for the couple getting married and are not supposed to represent their individual relationships. Either way, make sure you and your fiance are on the same page regarding what to do about the groomsman, and move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My father is growing older, and he has a lot of medical issues. His insurance is running out, and he needs the family to pitch in and help cover his bills. I have one brother who makes a ton of money. The rest of my siblings and I are barely scraping by. We assumed our brother would step in and take over our dad’s debt, but that hasn’t happened. Instead, the rest of us are struggling to pay dad’s bills and our own. How can we address this with our brother to get him to help more? -- Please Help

DEAR PLEASE HELP: You say that you and your siblings assumed your wealthy brother would pick up your dad’s tab, but did anyone talk to him about this directly? You cannot make assumptions about how other people spend their money -- or even about what they know about the crisis at hand. Your brother may not be paying attention in the way that you are. He may also think that everyone assumes he will pay for everything because he has money, which could be a sore spot for him.

Whatever the case may be, you need to speak frankly with him about the situation and make a specific ask. Ideally, all siblings would make some kind of contribution to your father’s care based upon your ability to give. Some may offer time if they live close by. Others may offer home-cooked meals, while perhaps your brother can offer dollars. If you present a plan that shows that you are all contributing, your brother may be more comfortable participating as well.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on vacation for a week and decided to unplug. I didn’t speak to friends, family or anyone who could be reached only by phone. I’m back now, and I can't help but think about how much happier I was when I was not speaking to anyone. I miss my solitude and the peace of mind that it brought me. I miss not being so connected to everyone. Is this a bad thing? What could this mean? -- Loner

DEAR LONER: Your vacation helped you to reset. Rather than eliminating friends and family from your life, you may want to change the rhythm of your engagement. Choose a day of the week that you can devote to communicating with others. Do not answer the phone every time it rings in the future. Let voicemail pick up the call. Change your voicemail message to let folks know that you will be answering your phone infrequently. In case of emergency, invite them to text you. You can control your time. You can train your loved ones to change their expectations of how often they talk to you. You can reinforce this without feeling guilty, too. You get to be the captain of your ship. It’s OK to change the dynamics of engagement, even -- and especially -- with the people you love.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not been getting along with my husband at all. He irritates me to no end. For a long while, we have been coexisting rather than enjoying each other. I don’t like this, but I don’t necessarily have a solution for how to make things better. I know that romance often dies in a marriage over time; I’m not so much looking for that. I would like companionship, but what I get is him interrupting me all the time when we talk or him telling me what to do. I’m tired of that. How can I get him to wake up and see me for who I am and want to participate in conversations and activities with me? -- Disconnected

DEAR DISCONNECTED: Can you remember what you used to do that made you happy? What activities did you do together? What did you do for fun? Additionally, whose company do you enjoy? Are there any friends you might like to hang out with? Think outside of the box to discover ideas that may spark some energy between the two of you. You need to break the patterns that you have gotten locked into so that you can rediscover fun.

Look at your community bulletin to see what’s going on in your town. At this time of year, there are often lots of things to do that get you outside. Is there a tree-lighting event in your town? A musical playing at your local theater? A feature film you can see? Friends who may want to go ice skating or bowling or to a concert? Think about what may spark both of your interests, and go for it. You may have to push at first to get him to budge, but don’t give up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I woke up in the middle of the night dreaming about an old boyfriend. I haven’t talked to him in years, but I recently learned that his wife of more than 20 years passed away. I wonder if that’s why he came into my dream? It was weird. The dream was erotic. I can’t tell you when I last had any sexual fantasies. I have been single and without a date for years. Sex really hasn’t been on my brain, but here I was in an intimate moment with this man. Do you think that’s a sign? Should I reach out to him? And what should I say? Do I tell him we were intimate in my dream? I don’t quite know what to do. -- In My Dreams

DEAR IN MY DREAMS: Dreams are not always literal. A few things come to mind, though, regarding your dream. For starters, now you know that you can and do still have sexual desires. Your dream activated that for you, and those feelings were real. Relish in that!

Your dream also reminded you of this man. If you still have fond feelings for him beyond your erotic dream, reach out to him to say hello. Express your condolences for the loss of his wife, and check in to see how he is doing. Do not tell him about your dream. Instead, just talk to him. You can ask if he needs anything. You can even offer to visit him or invite him to coffee. Read the moment as you are speaking to him to get a sense of where he is and what he is doing with his life. No need to be pushy. Instead, just be present. See how things unfold.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still working from home. My whole work setup now is at my desk with my computer that links me to the outside world. My husband retired during the pandemic, so he is also at home without job responsibilities. I have noticed that when I am on an important call, my husband regularly comes into the room and starts talking to me. He knows I am working. I follow the same schedule every workday, but somehow he seems to “forget” all the time. I then have to wave him off, shush him or interrupt my meeting because he won’t go away. How can I get him to stop? It seems pretty immature, really. -- Work Boundaries

DEAR WORK BOUNDARIES: Why not put a sign up on the outside of your office door stating your office hours? It can be the same daily, or it may change based upon your responsibilities for the day. You may also write into the calendar when your free time is. To the best of your ability, venture out of your office during your free time to chitchat with your husband, share a meal or otherwise engage him. If he begins to notice that you are making time for him during your workday, he may become more amenable to honoring the hours you cannot communicate with him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)