DEAR HARRIETTE: My older sister and I are very close. She is much older than me, so she’s been more like a second mother to me than a sister. My sister has always struggled to find her footing. She is approaching her 40s and just recently moved out of our family home and into her own place for the first time.

Something that she says to me regularly is that she thinks that I am a lot like her -- a late bloomer. She thinks that I’ll probably have to deal with a lot of the same struggles that she has had in her adulthood. I am only 22, and I don’t think that it’s fair to write me off as a late bloomer just yet. I struggled in high school a bit, but I’m on track to graduate from college, and I’ve always been a hard worker. It offends me a little bit when she assumes that I will struggle in life. Should I say something to her about this? -- Not a Late Bloomer

DEAR NOT A LATE BLOOMER: Yes, you can talk to her. Point out what you are doing right now to build your life. Thank her for her support over the years. And ask her to stop diminishing you with her predictions of struggle. Ask her to wish the best for you and to say it out loud. Tell her that what you need most from her is cheerleading, not doomsaying.

Be mindful not to say that you don’t intend to turn out like her. That will hurt her feelings. Instead, remind her that you are young and full of potential. You are working right now to build on that potential. You may also want to expand your sphere of support. Look for friends and members of your community who see greatness in you. Talk to them when you need to be inspired.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been working remotely for the past two years. In those two years, I’ve rarely worked anywhere but my home. The other day, I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and work from a local co-working space. The office space wasn’t that busy, but I felt so nervous and anxious to be around so many people that I could stand to be there for only an hour or so.

I realize that I’m no longer used to working with people, and it’s given me severe social anxiety. How do I combat this? -- Social Anxiety

DEAR SOCIAL ANXIETY: Take it one step at a time. Putting yourself back out into the world can be scary at first. If you are fully vaccinated, that should give you some solace. You can still wear a mask, though, to err on the side of caution.

Beyond that, why not go to the co-working space each day for a couple of hours for the first week? Then add an hour each day for the following week. Ease into the routine of getting out of the house and being around people. Take the time while there to speak to some of the people in the space. Although people are there to work, they likely chose to go there to engage in some form of social interaction as well. Slowly put yourself out there. Over time, it should get easier.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is a freshman in college, and I have no idea how well she is doing. Students don’t have to tell their parents anything about their grades, even though we are paying for it all. This seems ridiculous to me. I am not a meddling mom, but I do want to know how things are going and whether she needs help. The fact that she is not talking about it concerns me. How can I get her to open up about this important subject? -- Talk To Me

DEAR TALK TO ME: Schedule a time to talk to your daughter. Let her know that you are checking in about school. Ask her directly how she is doing in her classes and what her grades are now. Invite her to walk you through her classes and tell you what she likes about each one and what is challenging. Do your best to find out if she needs any support in understanding or completing her work.

If your daughter refuses to reveal what’s happening with her classes, let her know that this worries you. As her parent, you are concerned for her well-being. As the one paying the bill, you want to know where she stands academically. Unfortunately, there’s not much more that you can do. Your daughter holds the reins here. Your trump card, of course, is withholding tuition. Don’t hold that over her just yet. Find out what her grades are when the semester ends, and take it from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been saving clothing for my daughter in case she wants it when she grows up. I now have a sizable collection of items, and it is taking up too much space. Some of the pieces are special -- designer evening gowns, designer shoes and purses, along with items that have sentimental value. I have no idea if my daughter will want them, but right now I don’t have enough room for my current wardrobe because of what I am saving for her. How can I choose what to give away? She is too young to have a clue. -- What To Keep

DEAR WHAT TO KEEP: Look closely at the items with sentimental value first, the ones with great stories that you can tell when you share them with your daughter. More than the designer pieces, you should hold onto the ones that your daughter will savor because they had particular meaning in your life. Beyond that, consider saving one or two pieces that represent different eras in your life. In this way, you will have to edit carefully and not hold on to multiple items from a particular time period in your life.

As far as the designer pieces go, contact a consignment shop to see if you can sell them. If they truly are valuable, here’s your opportunity to continue to benefit from the value of those items instead of stuffing them into your closet. You can photograph them and write little stories about them if you like, to help document your life for your daughter when she grows up.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend at work has an old dog, and she is extremely attached to it. She has taken off work several days in order to deal with health care for the dog. This is hard for me to understand as I am not a dog person in any way. I care for my friend and want to be there for her, but I find it somewhat exhausting having to listen to all of the details of her dog’s slow demise. The stories are just too much. Then I end up carrying around the burden of what she’s going through. I want to support my friend, but I need to draw the line somewhere. It got me wondering if I might feel the same way if a co-worker gave me the blow-by-blow of a parent’s declining health. What can I say to her without hurting her feelings? -- Too Much Information

DEAR TOO MUCH INFORMATION: Let your friend know how sorry you are that her dog is in distress. Stop asking her how the dog is doing, if that is part of your daily practice. Instead, ask her once a week, say on Monday morning, and allow about five minutes for her to share. After that time, excuse yourself from the conversation. If your friend constantly comes to you with updates or talks on and on about her dog, create boundaries around your engagement. Tell her you have only a couple of minutes to talk before she starts. Interrupt to let her know you have to get back to work.

Begin to regulate the amount of time you spend talking to her so that you can take care of yourself. When you are with your friend, listen carefully and be fully attentive. Let her know that you care by the way you are engaged. A fully engaged conversation is richer than several momentary, distracted chats throughout the day. If your friend gets frustrated that you cannot talk whenever she wants, point out what you can offer to her. Be clear, firm and loving. Hopefully this will help both of you through this difficult time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is recovering from a stroke. He is a very private person and didn’t want us to tell anyone what was going on with him. I have kept my word, but some people have figured it out based on things he has posted on social media. The symptoms of stroke are no secret. When people confront me directly about his condition, I’m not sure what to say. If they ask me point blank if he had a stroke, I sort of stammer but am speechless. I don't want to betray his confidence, but it puts me in an awkward position. How can I protect my friend and be in conversation with other people? -- Confidential

DEAR CONFIDENTIAL: You do not have to corroborate other people’s beliefs about your friend’s condition. Regardless of what they say to you, you can respond by saying that it is not your place to discuss his medical condition. You can add that he is a private person who prefers to keep his business to himself. Thank the person for asking. Tell them that you will relay their best wishes to him, and leave it at that. You do not owe anyone an explanation of your friend’s medical diagnosis.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)