DEAR HARRIETTE: My 23-year-old daughter signed a one-year lease with her boyfriend and moved out of my home without telling me. I discovered that she had left by finding her bedroom completely empty. I am hurt by the way she decided to handle everything. If she feels that she is grown enough to move out and get a place on her own, she should be grown enough to sit down and have a conversation with me about the move. She has been avoiding my calls and is not treating me with even the smallest bit of respect. While I’m extremely hurt, I do not want to push her away by reacting fully out of emotion. How do I approach her with love even though she seems to be pushing me away? -- Shocked and Upset
DEAR SHOCKED AND UPSET: Clearly, your daughter is afraid to talk to you about her life. Otherwise, she would have handled this differently. Rather than being too pushy, as you can see, you need to back off for now. If she is in touch with any other family members or friends, reach out to them to ask to be informed of how she is doing. Keep tabs on her from a distance. Get the message to her that you love her and want her to be happy and safe. Wait to hear from her. If you push her too hard, you will also push her away.