DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently had dinner with my ex-husband. Our divorce was finalized nearly two years ago, and we had not spoken since. I was hoping that we could reconnect and perhaps explore the possibility of a friendship. I’m not sure what I was expecting when we met for dinner, but I wasn’t expecting the outcome that I got.
Halfway through the night, I asked him how he has been dealing with our divorce. His response was that he was completely OK with the fact that we got a divorce, and he knew it was for the best. He seemed as if he did not care that it happened at all. I’m not sure why this hurt my feelings so badly, as I am the one who filed for divorce in the first place, but I’ve been in a funk about it for days. Am I wrong to feel this way? -- Unexpected Answer
DEAR UNEXPECTED ANSWER: You need to determine why you wanted him to be upset. What does that mean to you? Why are you feeling the desire to befriend him now? You divorced him. What do you want from him? You seem conflicted over what’s next for the two of you. This is not about him; it’s about you, your feelings and your hopes for the future. Sit down, determine what you want and figure out if your desires are realistic. You severed ties with him. Perhaps that’s simply the end. If so, you have to accept that and move on.