DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Black woman who has worked as an urgent care nurse for almost three years. I love my job, and I hope to work in this field for the rest of my life. I was recently assigned to care for an elderly female patient with dementia. I know that it could be her dementia talking, but she has made several racist remarks to me since she’s been in my care. Sometimes she is sweet and relaxed, but if she becomes upset for any reason, she will usually resort to attacking my race. I was told by senior doctors and fellow nurses that this happens often, and all I can do is ignore the remarks unless she tries to harm me physically. My situation seems to be a gray area as far as workplace discrimination goes. How do I ignore such offensive comments? -- Racist Patient
DEAR RACIST PATIENT: In your field, you are likely to encounter other patients who are rude, dismissive, racist or otherwise contrary. The mother of a friend of mine had dementia. She was the sweetest person before this disease, but then she became hostile. She started cursing, and her personality shifted rather dramatically. Apparently, dementia can affect people in many different ways. It is a disease of the brain. If you are able to ignore her rants, stay with her. Ignoring is probably more effective than challenging her when she says outrageous things, if you can handle it.
Here are more ideas on how to handle meanness caused by dementia, including checking to see if the person has a urinary tract infection: dailycaring.com/7-ways-to-respond-to-mean-dementia-behavior.
If you find that you really can’t stomach her commentary, ask your employer to replace you and match her with someone else.