DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I ended up becoming roommates earlier this year. I was worried about living with her because I did not want to put a strain on our friendship by adding the roommate dynamic, but we haven’t had many issues at all.

I do not have many close friends outside of her, so I don’t have too many guests over. My friend has plenty of guests, and I don’t mind very much. Recently, she had a group of people over for a game night in our living room. She didn’t bother to tell me about it or ask if I might want to participate. I walked out of my bedroom to a table full of guests, and nobody so much as pulled up a chair for me. I really do not want to cause issues with my friend, but my feelings are still hurt. How do I address this? -- Excluded

DEAR EXCLUDED: Question: Does your roommate typically invite you to participate in other activities with her and her guests? If so, then this is unusual. If not, it sounds like what may have bothered you the most is not knowing there would be a houseful of guests who were focused on each other to the exclusion of you.

It is understandable that you would like to be included in their fun, and it is also understandable that they wouldn’t necessarily think of that if the activity they were enjoying had never involved you in the past.

You and your roommate need to revisit boundaries around guests and socializing. You may also just want to sit with her and let her know you felt left out that time. If she is your best friend, she knows you are somewhat reclusive. When events are happening inside your home, let her know that, at the very least, you would like to be invited to participate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 20-year-old son is somewhat introverted, so he spends a lot of time by himself. He recently got a job where he works from home on the computer, which only adds to his isolation. I noticed the other day that he was looking at porn on his computer. He’s a young adult. I’m not trying to control what he watches, but I’m pretty sure his computer is owned by his company. I think he would get in trouble if they caught him watching pornography on there. How can I address this without embarrassing him? -- No Porn at Work

DEAR NO PORN AT WORK: The virtual workplace has brought with it many side effects, including how office equipment is used. You are right to worry about your son watching pornography on his work computer. Depending upon company policy, he could lose his job.

While this may be momentarily embarrassing to address, you must tell him. Just be direct. Tell him you noticed that he had looked at porn on this device. Warn him that this could be a violation of his employer's policies. Recommend that he only use his own personal device for that purpose. Encourage him to delete his cache and history and do his best to clean up his computer.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my younger co-workers -- who has no authority or rank over me -- attempted to boss me around the other day. He told me to “get back to work and make better use of my time” while I was talking to another co-worker on my break. It was uncalled for, and he did it in front of other people. I immediately reported the incident to my boss, and she assured me it wouldn’t happen again. That doesn’t change the fact that I was openly and blatantly belittled by a fellow employee.

I am not the type to brush disrespect under the rug like it never happened. I am wondering what even made him think he could speak to me like he was superior to me. Should I go to my boss again to ensure that she takes action, or should I speak directly to my co-worker this time? -- Bossy Co-Worker

DEAR BOSSY CO-WORKER: You have to stand up for yourself. It is fine that you reported his behavior, but in order to stop a bully, you have to speak up directly to them. You can consider a number of things to do next. Ignore him until the next incident, but respond in the moment, inviting him to mind his business or using humor to ask him if he’s jealous that you aren’t talking to him. You can directly ask him what his beef is with you. Often, bullies are caught off guard when confronted. If he plays dumb, remind him of the moment when he called you out. Ask him why he would think he needed to say such a thing to you.

The bottom line is that you need to check this person face-to-face. Otherwise, he will likely do or say something else again that is unacceptable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I really liked my boyfriend’s brother up until recently. My boyfriend told me that his older brother attempted to set him up on a blind date with another woman while we were still very much in a relationship. I can’t understand why he would do such a thing. My boyfriend and I are perfectly happy, and I get along with his brother well. Why would he do something like that? How am I supposed to feel about him now? -- Betrayal

DEAR BETRAYAL: If you and your boyfriend’s brother have been close, why not go directly to him and ask why he would do that? Tell him that you thought you two were on the same page -- that he liked you and respected your relationship with his brother. If he has any issues with you, ask him to let you know directly. If he thinks his brother should not be exclusive with you, ask him why. Tell him you feel betrayed that he would try to set up his brother with someone else when he knows you two are exclusive.

What’s good is that you and your boyfriend are in alignment. Not only did he not go on the date, but he also told you.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter used to have a bad habit of biting her nails down to the skin. Over the years, she has done much better, which is why it is worrying me now that she is back to this behavior. I don’t know what is going on with her, but I’m sure that something is wrong. I try to get her to talk to me, but she’s unwilling to open up. She is an only child. To my knowledge, she may talk to her best friend about certain things, but I’m not sure. I’m at my wit’s end. My daughter is 19, so I can’t force her to do anything, but she does still live in my house. What can I do to help her? -- Nail Biter

DEAR NAIL BITER: You can reach out to her best friend. Let her know what your concern is -- namely, that nail-biting is a potential sign of something serious that your daughter is dealing with. Ask if she knows of anything that you should be aware of. Make it clear that you aren’t necessarily asking her to betray your daughter’s confidence. You are just concerned about her. Perhaps she can inquire on her own to see how your daughter is doing. Even if she doesn't report back exactly what she learns, she may be able to console your daughter. If there’s any red-alert situation, encourage her to inform you.

The most important thing is for you to keep the dialogue going with your daughter. Invite her to do things with you that you both enjoy. Find ways to spend time together so that you are in her company more. Resist the urge to ask a million questions. Just be with her to the best of your ability. Let her know you will support her no matter what is going on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter had friends over for the weekend at our summer cottage. I noticed that two of them sneaked off to be in the room together for an extended period of time, though I only realized this after the fact. I do not allow teenagers to sleep together in my house, even if they are already 18; my daughter knows that. I asked her to speak to her friends and let them know I thought that was disrespectful. They obliged and didn’t sneak off anymore. Should I tell their parents that this occurred? I’m not quite sure how to handle this. -- Crossing a Line

DEAR CROSSING A LINE: I’m not sure how helpful it would be to tell the parents that their teens were in a room behind a closed door for a while. You don’t know what happened -- if anything. You do know that you were able to enforce your house rules, even if it was after the fact. In the future, you can make it clear to the teens what the boundaries are and that if they cross them, they have to leave.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)